baby-boo Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 It sounds so pathetic... before i posted this i read alot of the other threads.. in a way it was a comfort to know others are going through the same thing... I was seeing my boyfriend 2 years.. (i know it's not as long as some of the people here) but i loved him more than i thought was possible.. he wasnt just my boyfriend, he was my best mate to.. sounds cliche but its true, i could tell him anything.. everything. I never stopped loving him.. he was everything i thought about.. A few months ago we did have alot of bad arguments.. and things hadnt been as good as they used to be.. but things are never jst fireworks and sunshine forever.. i thought it was jst a ruff patch.. he had other issue to deal with so i thought that might have been stressing him out... Anyway things picked up recently and i was happier than ever... packed my bags to go and stay at his for the night.. walked through the door and realised something was up. He said he wanted to end the relationship.. said his feelings had changed, abd he jst didnt love me anymore. He said he didnt want a relationsho at the moment and he didnt want the commintment.. I cant believe, hes the most important thing in my life... and he says he doesnt want me contacting him... It happened on the 5th (this month) and since then ive cried constantly... i cant eat or sleep... nothing makes me happy... its only been 3 days but its total hell... I went on the internet and stupidly looked up 'how to win your ex back' however it wasnt all stupid... one site said 'make no contact for at least 2 weeks - you must give them space, then ring them and have a friendly chat, trying to get the spark back etc...' All ive wanted to do since is ring him and tell him i love him and i need him back... but ive tried so hard not to... and i havnt rang him or seen him since... Is this the right thing to do? I need him... and i cant go on like this... i would do anything to get him back. Also.. I know for me that i feel alot better talking to people in similar situations... so if anyone else out there is heartbroken... id love to tlk on hotmail etc
niceguy27 Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Sorry to hear about your pain. Yes there are a lot of people on here that have gone through similar experiences. Post your feelings and express yourself on here. We will try to help you through this. Hang in there!
Author baby-boo Posted October 8, 2007 Author Posted October 8, 2007 What should i do? I want him back so badly... Is this it...? should i make the 1st move? or wait for him to call me? will he ever call me?
SunnyLady Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 I know how you feel about this. Break-ups are part of life...sadly. Iv been in your situation before and i was just as devastated. We were togther for a year. He was everything to me...i mean i know it wasnt like 4years or something but still he was the best thing that happened to me, we spent so much time together ... going to his place during weekends was amazing. I could talk to him about anything as well and he showed me nothing but love. When ever we had arguments he would reassure me and we would reconcile. Then we had a particualr argument about his comittment level... he started becoming a bit distant and all that, we started seeing less often etc. I guess these were the signs but then i thought just as you thought that perhaps it was just one of thoes bumpy roads couple go through. To cut the long story short he ended it with me...said he didnt feel the same way about me etc... it hurt so bad! Couldnt eat or sleep for a week. I called him a couple of times in a bid to persuade to get back with me but to NO AVAIL. This even hurt more!! So i stopped contact. It was hard. I was depressed...i feel behind in my studies, in my work everything. Eventually he started contacting me...but it was too tough for me to remain platonic friends with him. I couldnt do it... so i stopped contact once again. And i started moving on slowly but steadily... i guess he nocticed this as well. He did come back eventually in subtle ways at first such as msgs from msn...talking about us getting back and if i would trust him etc. And then it became slightly more intense...he would put up msn names saying he missed me...he regrets letting go... "you don't know what you have till you loose it" etc. A few months back i would have done anything to hear him tell me thoes words, but i actually had moved on and i disliked him for the pain he had put me though. I did speak to him but i didnt show much enthusiasim. And i still refrained from contacting him. It became so bad that he called me one day and was begging me literally to call him. He wanted me to cook for him (dishes i used to prepare when we were togther). He would tell me had a craving for my food all these romantic gestures i did for him. I guess he never believed that i would move on the way i did. It shocked him. Well we never did get back but thats because i chose not to. I found out that he left me for some girl and then he got bored with her and began to miss me and then realised he had stronger feelings for me. I had moved on when he came back and didnt need him half as much as i needed him in the past. Now i see him from time to time and the power is back in my hands :-). When he looks at me i see the longing in his eyes. Lol. But thats over and done with, for a while now. That was a while back. Right now im gong through another break-up which i am not happy about. And it came as a result of his inability to commit to a reasonable extent. When we started off it was bliss... and for a while it remained that way. A couple of arguments but hey who doesnt argue? Now he says he doesnt want to go back to that, he says love is a bug before marraige. He doesnt want us to fall in love again so bascially we are through. Ok he said his feelings are not as deep as they used to be. I was a bit of a wreck a few weeks back but im using my experience to guide me with this one. I miss him a whole lot. Our good times togther were indeed good times. I can understand how dep your cravings for him are but ill give you a few tips. First cry, weep, mourn get all your emotions out. Don;t hold them in. Have you got friends around you? A sister or someone you trust? Ensure they are around you. Its been only three days for you...but gradually every day will get better i promise. DO NOT CONTACT HIM for the time being It will be so hard, sometimes you might want to act on impulse but please don't contact him. Give him his space, leave him alone to get up to what he is up to. Be absent from his life, dissapear. If you maintain no contact he may begin to miss you and realise how much a of a gem you are. And even if he doesnt come back for you, No contact will provide you with the healing time you need. There are no established tips to get an ex back but there are some things which can increase the chances of them coming back. For now don't contact him...try to be strong. Try to move on with your life. My ex came back when i had moved on. When i was waiting for him, crying, pleading and begging it drove him further away. When i then moved on with my life and he percieved i had moved on with my life he came back. You also have to bear in mind that he may never come back. But if he doesnt then you know it wasnt meant to be. But for now the focus is on yourself. Men love a strong woman so try to be one ok. Don't contact him, have your friends around you, go out, do things you enjoy doing. And make a conscious effort to move on with your life. You can't go wrong this way. Time heals what reason can not heal. Don't forget to cry. It does help. And you need to eat well during this period. Pamper yourself. If he does come back for you, then you will be in a better positon to decide if you want him back. If he doesnt come back then it wasnt meant to be. But from my own experinces and thoes around me they always seem to come back. But this happens only when they perceive the girl has moved on. No contact, independence and keeping my head up has always helped and as cliche as it may sound...has always brought them back. Whats your msn? Send it to me and ill add you if you want us to talk further.
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