dedo Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Hi here, my boyfriend and I broke-up a few months ago and are friends now. I know that he may still have some feelings for me as he asks what I am doing on the weekends or what classes I may be taking etc. I'd like to get back together with him again , but I am clueless how to 'play' the game. I dont like games and am one to be up front with things, but from my experience with my friends and stuff I have seen the game work. I have read about playing hard to get and am looking for peoples ideas and rules on the subject....
Krying Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 I have no idea myself. As soon as I opened up to my ex, she essentially bailed out of the relationship. She's young and immature and I sense that's all she actually wanted was the thrill of the chase, catching someone, then meh.
Author dedo Posted October 8, 2007 Author Posted October 8, 2007 Anyone else have some rules to go by....
datingmum Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 I know you're young and not married, but have a look at this guy's theories, based on 5000 case studies as a marriage counsellor for splitting couples. It's all about 'stop working' to make it work (the theory behind NC or limited contact - though I think complete NC can actually be detrimental and come off as somewhat 'huffy' - still showing you actually care very deeply) and simply agreeing with their opinions of why you're breaking up so that you stop arguing with them. It makes them step back and finally consider their own motivations. People treat you how you allow them to treat you, so it's said. Basically, the concept is to make yourself happy, realise you don't 'need' this guy - it's just a preference, and the sooner you realise that and are happy with that, the sooner they feel less pressured and less 'wrong' and your ex will rush in to actually defend you. Give it a go. Then, when you're dating, I'd suggest you read the book "Why Men Love Bitches". Whenever I followed these very healthy, self-respecting concepts, I did well and the relationship stayed healthy because I was healthy. It is when I stopped, started being too needy, based too much of my life on my partner, became too insecure in myself that I started to allow bad behaviour and disrespect and ultimately, invited the breakup. By the way, these are all theories thus far...I haven't yet fulfilled the ultimate aim of having a happy, stable, fulfilling relationship, but I am on the path back - whether with my current ex/partner or with someone new.
datingmum Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 I started to feel ALOT less pain! Almost overnight.
NorCalDave Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 I have no idea myself. As soon as I opened up to my ex, she essentially bailed out of the relationship. She's young and immature and I sense that's all she actually wanted was the thrill of the chase, catching someone, then meh. As soon as I opened up to my ex about wanting more than friendship, she bailed too. Now I just miss the friendship aspect of our relationship, and almost wish I didn't tell her my true feelings. But, nothing in life is above being honest, so I actually have no regrets that I told her how I'm feeling. She couldn't handle it and split. Oh well..I guess it wasn't meant to be, and I guess we aren't meant to be friends either. Playing hard to get....hmm.....that's a tough one. I can't think the best thing to do is go no contact. He'll wonder why you're not contacting him anymore, and he'll get in touch with you.
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