prettydarncute Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 This guy and I have become friends and have gone out 3 times in the last 3 weeks. He texts me a lot, always asking how I am or what I'm doing. Anyways last night I asked him if he'd be interested in seeing a movie. He said yes so we met up and everything(he of course paid)and throughout the movie he would like whisper things to me about the movie or nudge me when he thought something was funny. Anyways at one point I decided to reach over and grab his hand to hold. Everything was going well.....until about a minute later he pulls his hand away and says something along the lines of his hands get really sweaty or something. Now I don't know this was the truth or if he really just didn't want to hold my hand. A few minutes later he said something like "let's link arms", so we did. It was awkward though and I was still confused as to whether or not he just didn't want to hold hands with me. Then to top it all off as we're leaving he's making little remarks about how I better hurry and get home to study(I had told him earlier that I couldn't stay out late because I had some studying to do)and gives me this like little one-armed hug. I'm just confused seeing as this is a guy who made out with me a week ago and has texted me nonstop since then. Now I'm starting to think maybe he's just playing games with me. Any help would be appreciated.
Author prettydarncute Posted October 8, 2007 Author Posted October 8, 2007 Anyone? I just found his behavior odd last night.
Nial Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Hi prettydarncute, Do you know him for a long time? Maybe he is kind of scared about you're making the "first move". Is he shy? Seems to be that kind of guy who wants to please and take care of you. Pay attention to make sure he isn't "needy". If you can, describe a little bit more about him and your relationship with him. Good luck!
compassion42 Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Yeah, it sounds like he just got scared. Give him some time and space and see what happens.
Author prettydarncute Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 Thanks for the responses! I've known him for about a month. We talk almost every day but we've only hung out together 3 times so far. He seems a little shy I guess. I guess I was just confused because a week ago I was at his place and we had a good time, kissed and a little more, and then last night he was acting kind of strange. He was still sweet and funny and everything but something about his body language seemed off from the last time I saw him. I guess I could be reading too much into things since he did text me earlier tonight.
Blackberry Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 I know you don't want to hear this but....these are not the actions of a man who is into you. He is just not that into you.
Author prettydarncute Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 I know you don't want to hear this but....these are not the actions of a man who is into you. He is just not that into you. I don't know. I mean he's ALWAYS the one who is calling or texting me. I NEVER am the one to make the first contact. Not to mention last night he missed out on watching his favorite football team(the Packers)play, and I know he really wanted to watch them, to go to a movie with me. Now is that something a man who is not into you would do?
Author prettydarncute Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 This guy and I have become friends and have gone out 3 times in the last 3 weeks. He texts me a lot, always asking how I am or what I'm doing. Anyways last night I asked him if he'd be interested in seeing a movie. He said yes so we met up and everything(he of course paid)and throughout the movie he would like whisper things to me about the movie or nudge me when he thought something was funny. Anyways at one point I decided to reach over and grab his hand to hold. Everything was going well.....until about a minute later he pulls his hand away and says something along the lines of his hands get really sweaty or something. Now I don't know this was the truth or if he really just didn't want to hold my hand. A few minutes later he said something like "let's link arms", so we did. It was awkward though and I was still confused as to whether or not he just didn't want to hold hands with me. Then to top it all off as we're leaving he's making little remarks about how I better hurry and get home to study(I had told him earlier that I couldn't stay out late because I had some studying to do)and gives me this like little one-armed hug. I'm just confused seeing as this is a guy who made out with me a week ago and has texted me nonstop since then. Now I'm starting to think maybe he's just playing games with me. Any help would be appreciated. I wanted to clarify that his remarks about me needing to hurry and get home to study came off as quite snide. It was almost like he was mad that I was going home to study instead of going over to his place, like he didn't believe me.
squeak Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Maybe he took your earlier comment as having to get home and study as some mixed message too, maybe you both are thinking the other is giving mixed signals and acting accordingly. Give it another date or 2, not enough information to come to any conclusions.
Blackberry Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 He's not really acting that crazy about you, to be honest. A guy who is into you wants to hold your hand. Plus...it was YOU who made the move to hold his hand. He did not want to hold your hand, or he would have made a move to do so. By the way, reaching for a guy's hand the first time is NOT a good move. You were playing the man's role.
Author prettydarncute Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 He's not really acting that crazy about you, to be honest. A guy who is into you wants to hold your hand. Plus...it was YOU who made the move to hold his hand. He did not want to hold your hand, or he would have made a move to do so. By the way, reaching for a guy's hand the first time is NOT a good move. You were playing the man's role. I understand what you're saying but I also have seen for myself how shy he can be. When I was at his apt a week ago he wanted me to sit right next to him(this is guy who begged over the phone for me to come over), even patting right beside himself, but that was it. One of his roommates actually put his arm around me and then all of his roommates were making jokes about how if he was going to do it he just needed to make the move. I could tell it embarrassed him but once we were alone he put his arm around me and went in for a kiss without much hesitance. I actually asked several guys I work with about him saying his hands get really sweaty last night and they said that I shouldn't worry. All 3 of the guys I asked said that that is not an excuse to not hold hands, that some people obviously do get really sweaty hands from a nerves standpoint and they don't want to be embarrassed by sweating all over the girl's hand, one guy I work with even said he has this problem and knows others who do as well. I would maybe take it as him not being interested but once again he contacted me tonight. If a guy's not interested why not just stop with the contact to try and show disinterest?
squeak Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 He's not really acting that crazy about you, to be honest. A guy who is into you wants to hold your hand. Plus...it was YOU who made the move to hold his hand. He did not want to hold your hand, or he would have made a move to do so. By the way, reaching for a guy's hand the first time is NOT a good move. You were playing the man's role. That's true. So if you really want to see what is going on, don't make the first move-holding hands, suggesting a date-nothing. If he wants, he will do all of the above. If he does not do it on his own, you'll have your answer.
Author prettydarncute Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 That's true. So if you really want to see what is going on, don't make the first move-holding hands, suggesting a date-nothing. If he wants, he will do all of the above. If he does not do it on his own, you'll have your answer. Thing is I didn't really suggest the "date". He was the one who said he wanted to get together. His suggestion was that I come over and we rent a movie. I only suggested that we actually go out to a movie.
Blackberry Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 So he knows you are interested. He knows you like him. If he really wants more, he will make a definite romantic overture. Honestly he very well could be gay and trying to convince himself that he's not.
Kamille Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 oh I don't buy the 'not into you' thing on this situation. This because I buy the sweaty hand excused. Why are we focusing on this and not on the other cuter stuff he was doing? Besides, I get sweaty hands sometimes and at those times I much prefer not to hold hands. And, am I correct in assessing that the two of you are most likely under 20? If so, then he is too young for the 'into you' philosophy to fully apply.
Author prettydarncute Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 oh I don't buy the 'not into you' thing on this situation. This because I buy the sweaty hand excused. Why are we focusing on this and not on the other cuter stuff he was doing? Besides, I get sweaty hands sometimes and at those times I much prefer not to hold hands. And, am I correct in assessing that the two of you are most likely under 20? If so, then he is too young for the 'into you' philosophy to fully apply. actually both 22, last year of college
Phateless Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 It's possible he just doesn't really know what to do. Don't give up on him yet, but don't blow off other guys either. He might be trying to "run game" on you and he's just not very good at it, lol... Hang in there girlie.
Kamille Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 actually both 22, last year of college there goes my theory. Has he dated much? I still buy the hands excuse and I also think that he was paying attention to you throughout the movie: the nudging, the linking arms. He gave you a quick hug goodbye... were you guys out in a public space or back at your home? I don't know. it just sounds to me like there is just very little to go on either way. And since there is very little to go on either way, the best plan is simply to not worry about it. Else your doubts might transform into insecurity, and that's something you want to avoid. Let him make the next plans, go, have fun and enjoy his company (outside of any consideration of what his actions might mean) and take it from there.
Author prettydarncute Posted October 10, 2007 Author Posted October 10, 2007 there goes my theory. Has he dated much? I still buy the hands excuse and I also think that he was paying attention to you throughout the movie: the nudging, the linking arms. He gave you a quick hug goodbye... were you guys out in a public space or back at your home? I don't know. it just sounds to me like there is just very little to go on either way. And since there is very little to go on either way, the best plan is simply to not worry about it. Else your doubts might transform into insecurity, and that's something you want to avoid. Let him make the next plans, go, have fun and enjoy his company (outside of any consideration of what his actions might mean) and take it from there. I'm not really sure about his dating past. I know his last relationship was about 8 months ago but I don't think it was very serious. It was a long distance relationship but that's about all I know about his dating history. The hug took place in the parking lot of the movie theater so we weren't exactly alone.
Fancee Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 prettydarncute, This is a nice guy that is fund of you. He gets sweaty hands sometimes and he is embarrassed about it. Thats all! He still offer you affection that he felt comfortible with. Except it, nothing more. He was being considerate when he told you to go home and study. Love it. You have no problems.
Kamille Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 The hug took place in the parking lot of the movie theater so we weren't exactly alone. Parking lot? That's what I pictured. I'm personnally not one for PDAs, and maybe he isn't either. I think you have nothing to worry about. And yeah, he probably had sweaty hands because he likes you. you're doing good!
Author prettydarncute Posted October 11, 2007 Author Posted October 11, 2007 Parking lot? That's what I pictured. I'm personnally not one for PDAs, and maybe he isn't either. I think you have nothing to worry about. And yeah, he probably had sweaty hands because he likes you. you're doing good! He texted last night asking if I wanted to do dinner and a movie tonight. Unfortunately I already had plans so we're going to do it over the weekend instead. Anyways just thought I'd update a little on my situation. Thanks again for all who responded!
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