reboot Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 He is at the very least obligated to support his child financially. Don't let him get away with not doing that. It's time he grows up.
stillafool Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 the only way to get the strength to walk away is to not talk or see him. It will take time but it will work. Everytime you see him or hear his voice it is going to be a major set back for you. Just enjoy time with your friends and you will meet someone else who is better than MM. BTW, don't get drunk as drinking is terrible for women.
Author kchiapet95 Posted October 11, 2007 Author Posted October 11, 2007 I don't expect much from MM. I will tell him soon. I hope my mom will be supportive but the truth is, I was a member of a very strict religion. I don't know if anyone has heard of Jehovah's Witnesses. I could be kicked out for getting pregnant out of wedlock...I am surprised I'm not kicked out already! The punishment for being kicked out of the religion is that your family is not allowed to talk to you, no one in the religion is allowed to speak with you. So I'm dealing with that, on top of the lack of support from MM, on top of everything else. The vitamins are a good idea. I need all the physical strength I can get.
Author kchiapet95 Posted October 11, 2007 Author Posted October 11, 2007 BTW, don't get drunk as drinking is terrible for women. and it's not for men???
stillafool Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 I'm sorry I didn't read your entire thread. PREGNANT! OMG, you poor thing. I don't know how to advise on this. When are you going to tell MM?
Author kchiapet95 Posted October 11, 2007 Author Posted October 11, 2007 Gotcha, yeah, I know that and I feel like s**t about it...did not realize I was pregnant until Monday. Not going to tell him until after i have talked with my therapist tonight.
stillafool Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 and it's not for men??? I'm sure it isn't good for them either. Just this week there was a study about how even 1 drink raises a woman's chance of breast cancer by 20%. The percentage rises with each additional drink.
stillafool Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 Are you eating breakfast every morning? That will help. If you don't keep that baby fed you will get sick. Try eating some crackers that should help.
reboot Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 Just this week there was a study about how even 1 drink raises a woman's chance of breast cancer by 20%. The percentage rises with each additional drink. Therefore 5 drinks equals 100% chance for breast cancer!? Wow. I'd really like to see that study.
Author kchiapet95 Posted October 11, 2007 Author Posted October 11, 2007 I feel a bit better right now...I've been eating crackers and rice cakes and drinking orange juice. It gets much worse at night. I just can't eat, I feel really awful. A good thing is that I was slightly underweight, and I gained about 10-15 lbs just before I got pregnant. I'm about 4'11", 110 lbs, which i guess is average? I'm not sure, but I think I'm getting healthier.
stillafool Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 I know I couldn't believe it either. I hope they mean drinking on a regular basis. I don't drink anymore but what a drag!
stillafool Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 Don't forget to nibble on fruit and stuff too. Just try to keep something on your stomach all the time. It must be really difficult for you to go through this alone.
Author kchiapet95 Posted October 11, 2007 Author Posted October 11, 2007 Oh yeah, I packed a couple of pears and some cheese too. I'm just scared. every time I put something in my mouth I think, "Can I eat this?"
Author kchiapet95 Posted October 11, 2007 Author Posted October 11, 2007 I saw that report, I think they mean regularly. I don't drink every day, but when I do, I drink a lot...no more of that now! I can't believe I am pregnant! God...I hope I don't screw up (any more than I already have).
whichwayisup Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 I don't expect much from MM. I will tell him soon. I hope my mom will be supportive but the truth is, I was a member of a very strict religion. I don't know if anyone has heard of Jehovah's Witnesses. I could be kicked out for getting pregnant out of wedlock...I am surprised I'm not kicked out already! The punishment for being kicked out of the religion is that your family is not allowed to talk to you, no one in the religion is allowed to speak with you. So I'm dealing with that, on top of the lack of support from MM, on top of everything else. The vitamins are a good idea. I need all the physical strength I can get. I am sorry to hear that, about the JW thing...I take it you're not part of that anymore??? Or you are, and if your mom and the others know, they'll shun you? IF that is the case, then hopefully you have an aunt, an uncle, a cousin, or someone else you can rely on for support. I hope though, your mom doesn't let her religious views prevent her from being part of your life...But, I know how JW goes too as I had a friend who was a JW for a little while, but she ended up leaving when she realized how many friends and family she was losing. Do some reading up on certain vitamins and minerals you're supposed to take during pregnancy. As for the eating? Eat light, eat often...Whether it be afew crackers, or some fruit, yoghurt, bowl of cereal...Whatever works. Hopefully the nausea won't be around for too long.
whichwayisup Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 God...I hope I don't screw up (any more than I already have). No more of that stinkin' thinkin'! Seriously...It isn't helping. You aren't going to screw up. Think of the positives. You are going to have a baby and this baby will change your life forever. Yes, it will be scary, but in a good way! Fear is a good thing because it means you have the drive to be the best mom you can be.
Author kchiapet95 Posted October 11, 2007 Author Posted October 11, 2007 I'm not really part of it. I go to meetings occasionally, but they realize i lead a different lifestyle. Technically I am still a Witness as I haven't been formally kicked out. I would like to think she would be supportive, though she may force meetings on me, but I've got to consider that she may not. I do have an aunt in CT I could probably trust, and lots of friends, thank goodness.
Author kchiapet95 Posted October 11, 2007 Author Posted October 11, 2007 Thanks whichway. There are so many emotions running through me right now! It's lunchtime, and I'm taking a little nap. I'm exhausted. That's part of it too, isn't it?
whichwayisup Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 Yup. Rest when you need to, and listen to your body...Right now that little baby bump in is control! Hopefully once you talk to your therapist, call your aunt, talk to your friends, you'll be able to feel calmer and actually enjoy the little one growing inside you. If your mom tries to force meetings on you, you decide what is best. Don't let her manipulate you or guilt you. You're welcome and just take care of you. The rest will fall into place as time goes on.
Impudent Oyster Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 It is confirmed, I am definitely pregnant. That is unfortunate. When will MM hear the happy news? 1
Author kchiapet95 Posted October 12, 2007 Author Posted October 12, 2007 That's none of your business. He'll hear it when I'm ready to tell it.
Author kchiapet95 Posted October 12, 2007 Author Posted October 12, 2007 I don't think there's any way to tell him, other than just to say it. He called me last night, apologizing for this weekend, and I just told him that I wasn't going to worry about it, that I was going to spend time with my friends and have my own life and not sit around and wait for him, and if he loves me, like he said he loved me, then he'll back his words up with actions. I'm not holding my breath. I didn't tell him then, because I hadn't yet had my appointment with my therapist. She didn't advise one way or the other, but we just went over the pros and cons of each choice. She seemed to be leaning towards abortion...she told me she knows I'll be a great mom, but that I'm capable of being an even greater person, and having a child means putting your own desires off for a long, long time. She said if I have this child, I'll find a way to take care of everything because I always do, but it'll be so much harder. She's right, I know she's right. I'm scared to be a mother, I'm scared to end the pregnancy, but I have to do something. Meanwhile, I kept waking up to throw up in the middle of the night! I just keep marvelling at the changes my body is going through.
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 I would advise against telling him until you are able to separate your feelings/decisions for your pregnancy from your feelings/decisions for MM. It shouldn't be a case of "I love MM and want to be with him forever, so I'm having a baby to make sure he is always in my life" - it should be "I am willing and able to parent a child on my own with absolutely no involvement from the MM" - if you base your decision to be a parent based on what you are hoping MM will do and what this means for you and MM, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment and heartbreak.
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