missmebaby Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 i got myself into a mess with one of my ex boyfriends. my first ex and i dated for a year, and we broke up a little over a year ago. a few months later i started dating my second and most recent ex. we were together for 9 months and broke up 5 weeks ago. ever since the second ex and i broke up 5 weeks ago the first ex has been asking me to hang out with him and his friends. hes invited me to do something every weekend. we've gone out to the bar with his friends, he invited me to a movie with him and his best friend, he has invited me to ride 4-wheelers with him, he invites me to poker night at his house, he has invited me to come watch their softball team play. he also invites me to come over to have sex. i have gone to his house 4 times and i invited him to mine once. he also calls me sometimes just to talk. we dont talk long but last week he called me 3 days, and this week hes called me almost every day. he has also seemed like hes worried that i am going to get a boyfriend soon. he had a party last night at his house he just bought. all during the week he kept asking me to come, and said i had better be there or he would be disappointed. i went to the party last night and he kept asking me if i was having a good time, and he kept apologizing that it wasnt as fun as he said it was going to be. anytime he walked by me he would slap by butt and basically he was just paying attention to me most of the night and being really nice. well we ended up going to bed together (his idea). he asked me if i felt weird kissing him. i said no why? and he said good because i want to kiss you when we have sex. well we fooled around for awhile and then had sex for a long time. he said he wanted it to last as long as possible. when it was over he said "amazing. the sex, all of it was amazing." i said "ugh i hate sloppy drunk sex." he said "oh thanks was it that bad?" and i said "no not at all but i feel so clumsy and like i dont know what im doing." then he said "its just a booty call so it doesnt matter." i said "its just a booty call?" and he said "yea what did you want it to be?" i said "nothing, thats fine." he could tell i was acting different so he kept asking me to tell him how i was feeling and to tell him what was wrong but i wouldnt do it. i didnt want to scare him away by telling him my feelings were coming back a little and i wanted him to want me. he could of just called it a booty call because every time i see him to have sex i always joke about it being a booty call. but maybe i really am just a booty call. he didnt touch me or hold me the whole night while we were sleeping. he slept really close to me like skin to skin even though there was plenty more room for him to move over but he didnt kiss me or put his arms around me the whole night. in the morning when we woke up he just got up and didnt really say much to me. i got up and said "bye im leaving" and he just said "bye. oh hey, are you coming to my party next weekend?" i said "im not sure yet." and he said "ok bye." i just cant figure this guy out. the first ex calls me alot, invites me to do things all the time, even when he knows hes not going to get any booty (poker night, 4-wheeling, movie, etc.). he seems like he doesnt want me to have a boyfriend, he flirts with me, he wants to make sure im having fun when im around him, sometimes he'll bring up memories of when he and i were together. but then other times he calls me a booty call and he doesnt really show affection such as holding me, putting his arms around me, etc. i just cant figure him out and what he wants from me. does he still have feelings for me but doesnt really want a gf? or maybe he thinks i dont still have feelings for him? or does he just consider me a piece of a*s? any opinions would be great!
myhotrod123456789 Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 The only way to know answers to these questions is to talk to him. If you don't want to be a booty call, then you need to make it clear to him that that's not what you want. I read through a lot of your old posts and it sounds like you had a hard time distancing yourself from this guy. I would very much advise you not to continue what you are doing without first talking to him about it. This advice comes from someone who just hooked up with their ex after being apart a year as well. It has sucked me back into thinking about her a lot. However, we have talked a lot about it, so as long as she doesn't screw me over, I hope things are going to unfold in a way that is acceptable to me. Talk to this guy and continue looking to see what else is out there. Don't go back to your second ex who sounds crazy. By the way, where are you from? Just curious because I have never heard about people going 4-wheeling as much as you guys seem to...
Author missmebaby Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 i want to talk to him about it but i just wanted to get some opinions first on how he might react so i can be prepared. i wanted to see if i was crazy for thinking he might still have feelings for me. i did have a hard time letting go of him when we broke up but its been a little over a year now and i had another bf for 9 months so i was really over him until recently when my feelings started coming back a little bit because we've been sleeping together. i honestly wont really be upset if he doesnt have feelings for me and just wants to be friends. i would just like some other opinions on what he may be feeling for me... oh and hotrod, i live in ohio. haha theres alot of 4-wheeling trails around this area and almost everyone owns a 4-wheeler.
myhotrod123456789 Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 If he just wants to be friends, would you still be supportive of the booty calls? Based on your history, it sounds like that would bring back a lot of those emotions that you had. I could see that being bad news. I think you should just have the talk. It's good that you are ambivalent at this point about his response. How is Ohio? I don't even think I know what a 4-wheeler is. Cars have four wheels. And trucks.
Author missmebaby Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 yes i think i would still be supportive of the booty calls....because when this all started about 4 weeks ago i thought he just wanted to be friends with benefits and i was fine with it. its just the last couple weeks that hes started to sometimes act like he has feelings for me and it has made me wonder...im going to talk to him and see what he says. im also going to let me him know that if he is sleeping with anyone else i will not sleep with him...lets see how he reacts to that too. right now ohio is great. its usually in the 50's this time of year but the past few weeks its been 80-90 degrees and sunny. more time for 4-wheeling! haha 4-wheelers are ATV's (all terrain vehicles) ya know you can take them off road and drive through the mud, and people race them. they're just like dirtbikes only with 4 wheels.
Fancee Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 I believe he wants you. I know he do. He's just playing bootycall like you say it and he just playing with you like that- its your game. But he is far more serious than a bootycall. He just don't want to alert you to the fact he really wants you and him be back in a relationship, right now. He is afraid you might run off. On the flipside, its nothing wrong with asking him what is it that he want from you and him? Ask him to make his intentions plain to you. If you don't like them after awhile dismiss yourself as you had other plans. If he is serious and really wants you he'll call you and come clean without the games. I know he wants you, you sound like a wonderful person.
Faith4u Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 It looks like he is comfortable with you and I am not sure if he sees that you are being hurt or affected by these events. I think the best thing to do is toa sk him directly. See if it is a real booty call! Some people do not analyse situations in depth and just live day by day. He seems to be that type.
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