Author shadowplay Posted October 10, 2007 Author Posted October 10, 2007 Shadow, Have you ever been to this forum on his computer? Have you ever let him use your computer without deleting histories etc? Did you mention this forum to him at all or any of the people he might know? If not, there is almost zero chance that he has seen this. Relax. Hi Blue Eyed Girl, As far as I remember I've never visited this site on his computer. I have let him use my computer before, but history isn't enabled on it. The only thing is that there are some cookies so that if you type in the letter "l" in the url box, loveshack.org would come up had I recently visited it. But he really doesn't seem like one to snoop. I trust him with my computer. I've never mentioned this forum to him or anyone else. So the only way he would have seen it is by discovering it on his own. But consider this...last night when I spoke to him he made this cryptic comment near the end of our conversation. We were joking around and I was teasing him about something he said. Then he responded something like just don't write that on the internet...think of what strangers I never meet will think. When I asked him what he meant he kept saying "nevermind, I was just joking and it didn't make much sense." Then he kind of signed off without saying goodbye.
BlueEyedGirl Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Ok, I tend to be paranoid like that too, but in 99% of the cases it turns up to be all in my head. If you think about it, it's VERY unlikely that he has found LS. From how you described him, he doesn't seem like the type that would frequent relationship advice forums. That comment could be a complete coincidence, you were already afraid that he found LS after L-bomb thing so in reality you were looking for further clues. Also L-bomb term is fairly common, my girlfriends use it, and they have never seen LS. I really, really don't think that he has found this.
squeak Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Shadowplay, I think if you feel a bad gut feeling about any discovery, whether or not it is true, who knows? But follow your intuition. I have been having the same thoughts too- why do I still post?? I must be a f$#@*g moron. Thanks for the wake up reminder. And yes, it is not impossible. If you need to, why don't you go through the archives? People's stories are very similar, we are all a lot more similar than most would think. Peace everyone.
Author shadowplay Posted October 10, 2007 Author Posted October 10, 2007 Shadowplay, I think if you feel a bad gut feeling about any discovery, whether or not it is true, who knows? But follow your intuition. I have been having the same thoughts too- why do I still post?? I must be a f$#@*g moron. Thanks for the wake up reminder. This wouldn't be the first time, won't be the last. If you need to, why don't you go through the archives? People's stories are very similar, we are all a lot more similar than most would think. Peace everyone. Yes, I'm starting to realize how dangerous it is to be posting some of the personal stuff I have. What was I thinking?? I guess I thought it was really unlikely that a guy like him would ever visit this forum...but there have been stranger things. Plus, a friend of his could have visited it and read something that rang a bell. Thanks for the input. Btw, why do you suggest I go through the archives?
BlueEyedGirl Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Shadowplay, I think if you feel a bad gut feeling about any discovery, whether or not it is true, who knows? But follow your intuition. I have been having the same thoughts too- why do I still post?? I must be a f$#@*g moron. Thanks for the wake up reminder. And yes, it is not impossible. If you need to, why don't you go through the archives? People's stories are very similar, we are all a lot more similar than most would think. Peace everyone. Yes squeek, but intuition sometimes gets so entangled with paranoia that we do not know which is which.
squeak Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 If you go to the "search forums" and type in any topic, you will find a bunch of threads on any subject. So if something is on your mind, or just curious, so much information is on there. You could find people in similar situations, whatever it may be, if you don't want to post your thoughts anymore.
squeak Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Yes squeek, but intuition sometimes gets so entangled with paranoia that we do not know which is which. True, very true, but for shadowplay's sake better to err on side of caution.
Author shadowplay Posted October 10, 2007 Author Posted October 10, 2007 Anyway, I think I'm going to try to stay off LS for good aside from pms and occasionally giving others advice. Not only is it playing with fire and a violation of his privacy, but it's starting to feed into my anxieties. As you guys have all said, I need to chill. If he sees what I wrote, though, I really hope he lets me know. Thank you for deleting his email, Tony. Later, guys.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 But consider this...last night when I spoke to him he made this cryptic comment near the end of our conversation. We were joking around and I was teasing him about something he said. Then he responded something like just don't write that on the internet...think of what strangers I never meet will think. When I asked him what he meant he kept saying "nevermind, I was just joking and it didn't make much sense." Then he kind of signed off without saying goodbye. Wierd. Do you use the moniker shadowplay for an email... or IM screen name or something?
Ariadne Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Hi, Anyway, I think I'm going to try to stay off LS for good aside from pms and occasionally giving others advice. How do you expect this relationship is ever going to work, if you are so terrified that he had seen this thread and all the rest? Like some govermnent secret. Don't you have enough trust in each other to tell him what's going on? And then writing all this stuff "after" you suspected he found out? ~ If you have seen this, I am so, so sorry. ~ I've learned my lesson, but by now it may be too late. ~ I fear that you'll never be able to trust me again. ... That's having no personality. Ok, you posted that stuff because you wanted some people's takes. I'd be more concerned if those were true and the guy is really a pimp, that's what I'd be watching out for, and not being afraid of him getting upset. Oh please. In fact, since you posted the stuff here and most likely he read, I'd expect his communication with you to be "more loving" and more "personal" and not the opposite way around. But that's my take, Ariadne
kinesis Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 how about ' i think i love you' or 'i think im in love with you' see where that goes...
lovecrossed Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Here's my opinion. Even if he read this thread, if he has any decency and really cares about you he won't be turned off by what you wrote. Perhaps it wasn't a good idea for you to post his email but you did erase all the personal identifiers and it's natural for people to ask for relationship advice. Yes, you come off as a bit anxious, but everybody has insecurities. If I were in his shoes I'd probably be touched more than anything by what you've written in this thread. You seem like an honest, decent, intelligent woman. If anything he has a lot more to lose than you do. I'd ask yourself instead how you feel about him. I didn't see his original email, but from the parts people quoted he strikes me as a bit self-absorbed and indirect. Ask yourself if you really want to be with somebody who speaks in metaphors and has difficulty expressing his feelings. Then again I don't know the guy and I could be completely off he mark. Just trust your gut. Good luck.
Replicant Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 You guys are right that I need to relax. I really appreciate all the thoughtful advice I've received on this board. I will say, though, that there are a few posters who always write bitter, critical, and sometimes vicious responses to threads (not just mine). These responses tend to feed into my insecurities and doubts, and I'm sure they have the same effect on many others. The internet seems to have an overabundance of people with axes to grind who love taking their **** out on others. I've got to just brush them off. Anyway, I'll probably take a break from starting any more threads on personal matters for my own well-being. That is unless there's some huge development/revelation in the near future, which I kind of doubt. I'll still give advice and contribute to other threads I find interesting. Thanks again, guys. Advice is not always going to be sugar and spice Shadowplay. People have made some very good suggestions to you. But also realistically looking at the situations you pose to be so critical in your relationship. In the grand scheme of relationship trials, if a few short months try your patience so hard with such nonsense. How will you ever survive years!? and beyond when greater things arise which challenge a couples real stability to stand the test of time? Naturally it is your choice to dismiss peoples advice if it seems contrary to your belief of what should be...Life is about choices, if you do irreparable damage to your relationship by your own hand...then it was your choices and actions on how it got that far. Deal with the consequences. Threads like this just border on lunacy, it's like conspiracy theories or spy games. When at the end of the day everything is alright in reality, but everything you've drummed in your head was just an overactive imagination.
Author shadowplay Posted October 11, 2007 Author Posted October 11, 2007 So, I kind of asked him in a round about way that didn't reveal anything if he had seen something pertaining to me online recently. He said "no" and seemed pretty genuinely confused. I'll never be 100%, but I choose to believe him. He's a very honest person in general. So that's a big relief. Still, I've learned my lesson and no more updates on him. Let this be a lesson to you, guys! Don't post anything you wouldn't be comfortable with your bf/gf/spouse/friend reading. (Look at me breaking my own rule, I just can't stay away! This site is too addictive )
lino Posted October 12, 2007 Posted October 12, 2007 Well that's good to hear Now just relax and enjoy things as they come ok?
Author shadowplay Posted October 12, 2007 Author Posted October 12, 2007 Well that's good to hear Now just relax and enjoy things as they come ok? I'll do my best. Thanks.
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