Jump to content

when to start throwing stuff away?

alexa137

By alexa137
in Coping

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

alexa137 Established Member

alexa137

Posted
Posted

after a dreadful emotional break up when do you start throwing stuff away? like pictures, clothes, anything that remides of that person

i think my ex has finally decided to leave me alone its been 10 days and no contact whatsoever and today is not a good day for me- reality has started setting in and its depressing-i cant believe someone who told me they loved me everyday for 16 months can just go on like that--i spend day after day crying and depressed just wondering

anyways i dont know especially what to do with the 2 diamond rings he bought me , they are so special and both together are worth about $800

i know a pawn shop will rip me off and just thinking about it sometimes makes me really cry- i dont really want to part with them because at that time i thought the meant so much but i do need the money also

i dont know

help

Sanslatete Established Member

Sanslatete

Posted
Posted

Whatever you can make out of this situation is a bonus, however painful it is. I threw out all my pictures, gifts, cards, clothes and anything that reminded me of my ex in about week 2. I have been finding and throwing away other little bits since. I don't want to keep reminding myself of this year when I'm on the mend so everything had to go. Pity about my memory.

Biker2007 Established Member

Biker2007

Posted
Posted

Alexa,

 

if the seeing the rings really causes you pain, sell them (pawnshop, online, etc)! Whatever money you get for them is insignificant to the peace of mind you will have when you no longer have physical objects hanging around to bring back painful memories.

 

Good luck!

AriaIncognito Established Member

AriaIncognito

Posted
Posted

I gave him back all his crap he left here as soon as I could. I deleted his texts and whatnot probably within the month. I do still have his phone number in my phone but i moved it down to Z so I'd never see it. I threw away things that reminded me of him.

 

You'll know when youre ready. until then, box it all up and store it at a friends or relatives.

oppath Established Member

oppath

Posted
Posted

I started tearing up photos before she left my house (she was in the bathroom). Yeah, I'm such a nice guy, I let her use my bathroom before she left.

 

I suppose I still have a jacket she gave me, but it is stored i a box somewhere. Maybe I'll bust it out this winter, I don't know. I didn't want to throw it away because she broke up with me the very next time she saw me after we exchanged gifts, and I really really wanted my gifts back so I could return them, but that wasn't going to happen. I did not want souveniors of the relationship, but figured if I can't return what I gave her, I might as well keep the thing of value she gave me, but I don't want to wear it until I am in love with someone else I guess. If I weren't poor, it would be gone. Haven't seen it in 9 months.

 

Emails were deleted within the week. Her phone number was deleted from my phone before she got to her car from my apartment door -- though I wrote it on a post it and put the post it in a drawer -- which of course is long thrown away.

Scooter25 Member

Scooter25

Posted
Posted

Well to be honest it is probably different for everyone. For me after about the second month of virtually no contact I collected all of the pictures I had of her and a few other things. It might sound weird but I lit a small fire outside and slowly burned everything.

 

It probably isn't the safest thing to do but one by one I burned everything. With each picture or thing they gave me that meant so much during the relationship I burned, which was one by one, I honestly felt better.

 

I would look at the picture or object and laugh about each great memory, because everthing was, and drop it in and think to myself I'll find someone else to share great moments with and if I don't (Shrugs shoulders) this is a fianl goodbye for myself.

 

The more and more I dropped into the pit the more it felt like a realease for me. At the end of it I felt completly different like we weren't connected at the hip anymore.

Scooter25 Member

Scooter25

Posted
Posted

I should admit the worst part of thi is that I was letting go of a few things I really liked, for example a shirt she bought me because I said I relly liked it but didn't want to spend the money.

 

Don't worry honestly things get better everday you just need to take big leaps in keeping busy.

 

When my girl left me after 4 years she did something amazing for me that I can credit her for, she brought me and my brother closer together. He saw how things were ripping me apart and made an effort at getting me out and meeting other people, going to parties or get togethers, when all I wanted to to was read, watch tv or something that just wasn't good for me at the time.

baby-boo Member

baby-boo

Posted
Posted

i broke up with my boyfriend 3 days ago. Everything is stored in bags... cant bring my self to thow it out... have to teddies off him... as much as it hurts me... seeing them sitting ther, reminding me off him... i jst cant bring my self to put them out of site...

niceguy27 Established Member

niceguy27

Posted
Posted

Its been over a month for me. She is just now finishing getting all her stuff out of my house. All her stuff there would make hit rock bottom a few times a week. After a few weeks I would go from sad to mad. Then I was just mostly mad. Then it turned into me packing it all up for her and demanding that it gets out of my house. You go through stages like that. She had an entire room in my house for her things. Now after they are all gone its like the "forbidden room" that I never ever go in. Its empty but the memories are still there.

MartianChronicles Established Member

MartianChronicles

Posted
Posted

the very night we broke up, i deleted all of his emails from my laptop, then his texts, then the pictures of me and him, and other files which reminded me of him.

 

the next day, i deleted his emails from my office pc, then other files, then cancelled some acconts we'd set up together.

 

then threw away the stuff he had left at my place, packed his books and clothes.

 

the other day i sold the watch he'd given me for my bday, in april.

 

he says he still has all the presents i gave to him, and values them above everything else. he says he's not like me. stupid man. :mad:

NorCalDave Established Member

NorCalDave

Posted
Posted
Its been over a month for me. She is just now finishing getting all her stuff out of my house. All her stuff there would make hit rock bottom a few times a week. After a few weeks I would go from sad to mad. Then I was just mostly mad. Then it turned into me packing it all up for her and demanding that it gets out of my house. You go through stages like that. She had an entire room in my house for her things. Now after they are all gone its like the "forbidden room" that I never ever go in. Its empty but the memories are still there.

 

 

I know about this "forbidden room". When my ex moved out and all her stuff was gone, it killed me to even look at that room.

There's another roommate in there now, but her "ghost" still haunts that area of the house. Even her bathroom.

And yes, her memory is still all around my house. All the rooms where we shared time together. I need to move out for my own sanity, I hate living in a house that reminds me of my ex!!

Good luck, I know how you feel!

niceguy27 Established Member

niceguy27

Posted
Posted

I am moving in a month or so. Brand new start for me. When I am home alone on a quiet day I go crazy with all the memories.

NorCalDave Established Member

NorCalDave

Posted
Posted
I am moving in a month or so. Brand new start for me. When I am home alone on a quiet day I go crazy with all the memories.

 

 

So do I. So I smoke herb to numb, and then I just think about how cool it would be to be with her.

Nothing really helps.

I think a full fledged "life shake up" is the only remedy.

Moving into a new house, into a new office, into a new city.

If I stay around here still pining for her all the time, I think I will eventually get weak and break NC, and thus, look like a loser.

  • Author
alexa137 Established Member

alexa137

Posted
  • Author
Posted

well i threw one item away-but its gonna be a slow process-sometimes i just want to throw it all away but then i start thinking and getting sad

cant do it yet-

i was doing good i havent seen or heard from him since sept 27th when after he came over for a few mins-when he left i noticed he jumped the fence and parked far away-i was pissed! called him and cussed him out and told h im to stop lying! etc... he got mad and said i told you you would start ****-so the next day i texted him saying "just leave me alone if you are messin with someone else" -and well nothing! i was devastated and full of rage etc.. but sat i started really missing him and crying ALOT and i cant seem to stop! why all these ups and downs-eveything reminds me of him! even stores and food and restaurants! its crazy!

i guess i wonder the most and what bugs me is how he can choose a 17 year old over me, an older more mature woman who gave him everything! i helped him get a jeep, and credit card, and so on

i did alot for him-its too much too handle

i just wish i could be hypnotized to forget because all the heartache is so depressing and i know how its gonna get when winter really starts!

i will try to throw away something else by the weekend

Double D Established Member

Double D

Posted
Posted

WOW! You guys did well. It took me about 6 months after NC to store my ex's stuff away. I have toyed with the idea of throwing it away and maybe will do one day. Cant see the point of keeping it forever espacially if I find someone Im going to be with with.

 

Scooter that fire burning session sounded pretty awesome. Got me to thinking ;)

Scooter25 Member

Scooter25

Posted
Posted

Well Double D it really was awesome.

 

Finally, I just thought that if I just threw away the stuff she gave me it wouldn't make feel better. I thoght she would of won in a weird sense so by burning it, I felt a huge sigh of relief. Like I said one by one I dropped it in. With each picture or object I was getting her out of my life for good.

 

I thought it wouldn't be fair to another person if I still had these things lying around. I know that if a new girlfriend had stuff fom an ex I wouldn't like it. Plus it would drive me nuts seeing these things and I would want to contact her more.

 

I should admit I didn't burn the Siius Radio, I couldn't do it :)

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...