carolinaboy Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 i'm sure it's something about woman never having control over someone thus thrill of the chase. there's no clinginess i suppose as well so that's attractive. i just dont see the appeal. i know this is cliche as ever, it just mystifies me every time.
MtMan Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Because the a**holes remind them of their fathers.
Tony T Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 i'm sure it's something about woman never having control over someone thus thrill of the chase. there's no clinginess i suppose as well so that's attractive. i just dont see the appeal. i know this is cliche as ever, it just mystifies me every time. There are many reasons but the biggest is fear of intimacy. There is usually no chance of a very good relationship with a jerk. Another is addiction to adrenaline. Being with a bxtch or a jerk has a lot of action, thrills and drama and many people feed off of that...and you simply can't get them to withdraw. A lot has to do with the unattractiveness of wimps. If there are jerks...and there are wimps...women will opt every time for the guy with balls and confidence. Wimps and wussies have to chance. Women want nothing to do with them. If a guy (or a girl) is too generous, too available, too predictable, etc., there is absolutely no romantic appeal and the chemicals which set off romantic feelings are not released into the brain. If someone was brought up in a home with abuse and chaos, that is what they're comfortable with and they will consciously or subconsciously seek out a person who will perpetuate that way of living. Alcoholics, abusers, drug users, etc. all fill the bill that way for those seeking a chaotic and unstable lifestyle like the one they are used to. It gets rather complicated. But as we grow older and get a better focus on exactly what we're looking for...and after having our hearts broken numerous times by bxtches and jerks, we usually settle down with someone who we can love and who we are comfortable with....if we are sane. Ha, how many sane people are out there?
Author carolinaboy Posted October 7, 2007 Author Posted October 7, 2007 I agree with you both wholeheartedly. Tony T could be a shrink. That response was in depth and true. I wonder if any ladies will answer this?
Trialbyfire Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 I don't love arseholes. I do love strong, confident men who have no need for the choke chain.
Author carolinaboy Posted October 7, 2007 Author Posted October 7, 2007 girls i see at the club i work at, who they go for and my ex gf's new guy. i know not all women do.
Yamaha Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 It's usually an age thing with women. Young women love the danger, excitement and lawlessness of bad boys. They can't be tamed and it is a challenge to get them. As they mature most ( not all ) women see the other side of a bad boy ( won't commit, usually a player, not a good candidate for a long term relationship ) and look for a more stable, confident guy who they are comfortable with and would make a good father/husband. It is a rebellious stage women go though just as men go through the "notches on the bed posts" phase.
Woggle Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Most likely because these particular women are a**holes themselves. Like attracts like if a decent man wants to find love he should start ating decent women.
Touche Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 It's usually an age thing with women. Young women love the danger, excitement and lawlessness of bad boys. They can't be tamed and it is a challenge to get them. As they mature most ( not all ) women see the other side of a bad boy ( won't commit, usually a player, not a good candidate for a long term relationship ) and look for a more stable, confident guy who they are comfortable with and would make a good father/husband. It is a rebellious stage women go though just as men go through the "notches on the bed posts" phase. You're absolutely right on that, Yamaha. I've seen it in my own life. Yep. As we mature, some of us let go of the "bad boys." We learn to appreciate and look for the guys who are not wimps but who aren't bad boys either. There's a lot to be said for a happy medium. A lot.
Touche Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Most likely because these particular women are a**holes themselves. Like attracts like if a decent man wants to find love he should start ating decent women. Yep! (And yes, there ARE some of us out there!)
Citizen Erased Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 People think my boyfriend is an *******... but he sure isn't like that with me, he is the sweetest kindest person I know, I wouldn't be with him if he wasn't. I think some people just don't get his sarcasm and think he is serious, but those people are stupid lol
Touche Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 People think my boyfriend is an *******... but he sure isn't like that with me, he is the sweetest kindest person I know, I wouldn't be with him if he wasn't. No offense, Coco, but I'd be concerned about being with a guy whom other people perceive as an ass hole. But maybe that's just me. I don't think a man (or woman) can be one way with their SO and a different way with everyone else. Eventually their true colors are seen.
Woggle Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Yep! (And yes, there ARE some of us out there!) There are but decent women are usually not found in the same place as the no good ones. I have to admit that I see the women some of my nice guy friends involve themselves with and it is no wonder why they keep getting burnt. Some younger are attracted to bravado and swagger which can seem very appealing but most eventually grow out of it after they realize these men will do nothing but use them up and spit them out.
Trialbyfire Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Yep! (And yes, there ARE some of us out there!) Why did your post make me think of the following dysfunctional relationship communication? "I hate all you feminazis" "I hate all you male chauvinists"..."You understand me, you're so special", "muah...kiss...kiss..."
tanbark813 Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Women don't like a**holes, women like confidence. And given a group of a**holes and a group of nice guys, the a**sholes are more likely to display confidence. Don't mistake one for the other.
bish Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 I think it is that there is some thrill being with a "bad boy" ahole...whatever you want to call them. Then they think they go that route...hooking up with players...then when they have sown their oats, they can settle down with a nice guy. So its time for the nice guys to be VERY selective and not let these women walk all over them. Nice guys shouldn't have to settle for being 2nd choice.
Touche Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Why did your post make me think of the following dysfunctional relationship communication? "I hate all you feminazis" "I hate all you male chauvinists"..."You understand me, you're so special", "muah...kiss...kiss..." Yes, I'm shaking hands with the devil tonight! (See my posts on the OW threads!:laugh:) I'm in a rare mood. Love your post, Bish. But then, I always do. You're so right.
Citizen Erased Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 No offense, Coco, but I'd be concerned about being with a guy whom other people perceive as an ass hole. But maybe that's just me. I don't think a man (or woman) can be one way with their SO and a different way with everyone else. Eventually their true colors are seen. Well it's really only from some people he went to High School with So if they haven't grown up enough to realise people actually mature then their opinion isn't worth much
Touche Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Well it's really only from some people he went to High School with So if they haven't grown up enough to realise people actually mature then their opinion isn't worth much Oh, ok. Sorry. I can see your point on that.
Citizen Erased Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Oh, ok. Sorry. I can see your point on that. Sorry if I sounded bitchy, just gotta stick up for my man
Trialbyfire Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Yes, I'm shaking hands with the devil tonight! (See my posts on the OW threads!:laugh:) I'm in a rare mood. Haha...have fun. Too bad I get to miss this but Thanksgiving dinner is calling to me...yoohoo...the turkey is in the house! One thing I am curious about for anyone who posts in this thread. Please define arsehole, male or female.
Touche Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Sorry if I sounded bitchy, just gotta stick up for my man Oh no, it's ok Coco. You didn't sount bitchy at all. And I'm not always right. (Just most of the time!)
Touche Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Haha...have fun. Too bad I get to miss this but Thanksgiving dinner is calling to me...yoohoo...the turkey is in the house! One thing I am curious about for anyone who posts in this thread. Please define arsehole, male or female. Of course the turkey is in the house as long as you're still home!:p:p You know I love you. Ok, define *******? Wow, I don't know how to do that without getting banned!
Citizen Erased Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Oh no, it's ok Coco. You didn't sount bitchy at all. And I'm not always right. (Just most of the time!) If I had a dollar for every time I have heard that from my mother...
Krying Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 There's a third category that no one has mentioned. When a girl leaves me, I turn into a wuss it seems. When she's with me, I'm not a wuss. I have confidence coming out my pores so much that other girlfriends of the ones I see, want me. Strange what being in love does to a person. Yet when a girl leaves, so does my confidence. It's not that it doesn't come back, but it does take time. The wonderings of why it happened, losing someone you cared for and so on.
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