kirikat Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 I want contact so bad right now. All day long, I have been thinking of excuses to send a friendly little email. Its been 2 months. I have been dating, seeing a shrink, powering through this as best I can.... But today, all I want is 'another chance' God this is so hard!!!!!!!!!
Sanslatete Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 It does get easier, little by little. It's been three months for me and I have my good and bad days still. It's hard as a bitch to let go after 6 1/2 years and it's like I'm starting my life all over again. The only thing you can do is get through the days one at a time, minute by minute, hour by hour. It feels like an eternity and it isn't at all easy, but it can be done (I hope). We're all in the same boat here and hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel. Take care xx
Cabman Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 It does get easier, little by little. It's been three months for me and I have my good and bad days still. It's hard as a bitch to let go after 6 1/2 years and it's like I'm starting my life all over again. The only thing you can do is get through the days one at a time, minute by minute, hour by hour. It feels like an eternity and it isn't at all easy, but it can be done (I hope). We're all in the same boat here and hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel. Take care xx 6 years for me. Almost 3 months into it and hating every moment of it. Sometimes I wish I could fast forward a year. Deep down though I know even though it may not seem like it, the healthy thing is to actually go through it, (like we really have a choice) from beginning to end.
Curious139 Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 I know how you feel Kiricat. It has been 3 months for me and it is her birthday tomorrow so I'm on the roller coaster again! Sent a card but not the flowers I'd planned, after reading and thinking more about the advice here. Remember NC is for you to heal. It is hard, damned hard. You think that to hear his voice, read an email or message from him will lift you up, maybe everything will be alright. I can tell you from my own experience of breaking NC that it can all come to nothing. Ashes in your mouth. The disappointment, the pain, the rejection, the depression, just overwhelms all the rebuilding you've achieved. The other aspect of NC is to allow the ex to miss us - to give them time to forget the breakup and remember the love. It also preserves your dignity and sel-respect. Hugs.
Grace112 Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Kirikat, I don't have any advice to provide but wanted to give you my support. <hugs>
Author kirikat Posted October 8, 2007 Author Posted October 8, 2007 thanks all. I dont know whats wrong with me right now. I am 10 weeks out, but suddenly, I am crying all the time. I feel like its over, its done - I will never really be in a successful relationship. I feel like I make these choices that I make because at least I "know" I will get left.... in a sick sense, it takes all the risk away. The only thing keeping me from suicidal ideation or self destruction right now is my overwhelming sense of responsibility to my son, and the absolute love I bear him. But honestly, I dont want my life anymore. Im tired, and lonely, and scared, and I dont think it will ever really be fundamentally better - and I feel like maybe anytime it is better is just a set up for the inevitiable crash. My public persona is so good. Everyone is always telling me how "strong" I am. Im not that strong, I dont want to be strong. Im tired. I want to put it all down, and rest.... but I cant, because there is no one else who can take care of me or my son (or my dog, cat, job, house....) I thought I had gone through the worst of this pain. But - apparently not.
SuperHands Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Be strong and maintain NC. Breaking it will set you back. Never think of yourself not being in a successful relationship. A friend of mine also has young child and split up with her partner. Now she is in a very happy relationship and moving forward. Keep focusing on the good things in life. Think of your son growing up and achieving all he wants in life. If you find yourself thinking of the ex, focus on those moments where you were annoyed with him or weren't attracted to him. Keep playing those moments through your mind. You'll come out of this, so many of us have done so already! Big hug.
LakesideDream Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 KiriKat, I can read the pain and lonliness in your post. It does get better girl. I've been alone for 7 years, (but I'm an old geezer), a couple of years ago, I read something here on LS that triggered my memories, and found myself bawling like a baby. It passed quickly, luckily. I'm thinking good thoughts for you. Love and happiness.
NorCalDave Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 I want contact so bad right now. All day long, I have been thinking of excuses to send a friendly little email. Its been 2 months. I have been dating, seeing a shrink, powering through this as best I can.... But today, all I want is 'another chance' God this is so hard!!!!!!!!! I know it's hard. I had a horrible weekend missing my ex. We haven't had contact in 2 months. I found her water bottle at the gym and want to sooo bad just call her and give it back....but then I'd look weak and I'd break NC. I even found out she's staying right down the street from me at her sister' place. I drove right by her on Saturday night. I want to just ask her how she is, let her know that I am still alive. But I just can't see anything good coming from that call. Yesterday was a beautiful Sunday morning that I wanted to share with her, but she's wrapped up in her own life. All I can say is don't get weak and try to contact him, because it really won't work. I am just trying to take care of myself and do fun things and date others but I can't lie, I miss her so much, I still love her as she is still in my heart. She was just so mean and distant with me the last couple months though...I guess the only thing to do is move on, hold your head high and hope the NC not only heals you but makes your ex miss you enough to the point where THEY are trying to get in touch with YOU. That's what I am going for but sometimes I think my ex will never try and contact me again.
Newtotheblogthing Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 I am only in day 3.. god, months of NC seems near impossible but I am going to do my best to make it. My mind seems to be drifting to the approaching holidays. Halloween, Thanksgiving and then Xmas. I bet he takes his new girlfriend home to meet his parents. Just like he brought me.. I can't seem to believe that I have been replaced. None of it is "ours" anymore. It's "theirs". It seems impossible. He was so "in love" with me a couple of months ago.. now it's gone? That's it? Really? and we are now supposed to be friends? How? We can't. Sorry, I want him to miss me so i won't contact him. If I heal in the process then it's an added bonus!!! Ok, that might be backwards..
Bosiell Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 I know it's hard. I had a horrible weekend missing my ex. We haven't had contact in 2 months. I found her water bottle at the gym and want to sooo bad just call her and give it back....but then I'd look weak and I'd break NC. I even found out she's staying right down the street from me at her sister' place. I drove right by her on Saturday night. I want to just ask her how she is, let her know that I am still alive. But I just can't see anything good coming from that call. Yesterday was a beautiful Sunday morning that I wanted to share with her, but she's wrapped up in her own life. All I can say is don't get weak and try to contact him, because it really won't work. I am just trying to take care of myself and do fun things and date others but I can't lie, I miss her so much, I still love her as she is still in my heart. She was just so mean and distant with me the last couple months though...I guess the only thing to do is move on, hold your head high and hope the NC not only heals you but makes your ex miss you enough to the point where THEY are trying to get in touch with YOU. That's what I am going for but sometimes I think my ex will never try and contact me again. /agree Good post.
MartianChronicles Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 kiri, i don't know what to say, except... it will pass focus on yourself, your needs, the things you like (even the smallest things) and those which make you feel better. think about your son, your dog, your cat, whatever. they need you, and you don't want your son to see you cry you heart out, do you? it will end, dear, even if you don't believe that possible. it will end and you'll be great. i'm here whenever you want to talk *** hugs ***
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