stillbits12 Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 I broke up with my ex about a month ago. We were NC up until a couple days ago. I've been seeing a new guy for the last two weeks and we get along great. I thought seeing this new guy would help distract me and eventually help me get over my ex, but I think it's just making it worse. I had sex with the new guy for the first time a couple of days ago and it was very disappointing. I was just immediately reminded of how considerate my ex was in bed and how much I loved having sex with him. Another reason I feel this way is because somehow I get the feeling that this new guy is not interested in a relationship. At the moment, I'm not ready to be in a relationship either, but I'm afraid that this will turn into a casual/sexual relationship, which is not what I want either. I'd like to go slow and eventually develop a relationship if it so happens. If not, that's ok too. Anyway, after sleeping with the new guy and feeling disappointed, I contacted my Ex and asked if he wanted to have lunch this week -- as friends. He jumped at the idea and said he would call me when he got back in town. I'm not sure if he will really call, but I would really like to see him. He hasn't contacted me, but he also doesn't seem to have any negative feelings towards me. I don't really want to get back together with my ex because I know how terrible we were for one another, but why can't I get over him?? I thought finding someone new would help me move on, but it hasn't. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? This is my first real relationship breakup. Thank you.
Sanslatete Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 I am seeing someone else too since my breakup (someone I've known for years and dated ages ago). She is very understanding of my situation and has a lot of my **** to deal with. I care a lot for her for being so understanding and for just "being there" for me (I appreciate how difficult it must be for her) but I'm not "in love" with her.The trouble is, I can't get my ex out of my head, when I sleep with this other woman, I want to feel the shape of her body being like that that I was so used to with my ex, and when I don't it's very disappointing. I just go into a longing feeling and everything goes downhill from there. Even the conversations we have lack that "something" I used to love with my ex, in fact, most things are tainted with how my ex used to be. I just wish all the bad things hadn't happened, it's going to be a long, up-hill battle to get over my love for the woman that tore my heart out. So, stillbits, I hope you find peace from your breakup and can just enjoy being with someone who wants to be with you without being haunted by memories of what could have been (like I am).
Ssheena Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Uhh.. wait a sec.. Sanslatete. You have been writing and writing about how heartbroken you are and how your x was so perfect and all and you are already involved with someone else? Do you think you are being fair to the new/old girlfriend? How do you think she would feel if she read what you had been posting? I'm not dening you are hurt from your break up but jeez...what kind of relationship do you have with this other woman? I will be expecting her to be posting on here soon.... I though I could make him forget his girlfriend and that he would love me... Is there any reason you can not take some time to get over A before jumping into bed with B (who may really love you and get hurt from this?).
Sanslatete Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 I know, it looks ****ty doesn't it. Guess I'm trying to compensate for something, and maybe the way I am isn't the best way. I do talk as honestly as I can with the other woman about my feelings and I don't make any promises I don't intend to keep or say anything I don't mean. We've known each other for years, before I knew my ex and....well,....it's all very complicated. I suppose I'm trying to get comfort where I can and my intention isn't to hurt anyone.
Sanslatete Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Sounds like I'm trying to justify my actions and, to be honest, I can't really. It's a 'rebound' relationship when you look at it, if I'm truly honest. It's a way of coping but never a good idea.
Newtotheblogthing Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 I did the same thing. I wanted someone to distract me from the ex. It only backfired however and as soon as it was over I was left with the realization he didn't magically take away the loss i feel for my ex. It's also worse because I was still sleeping with my ex while seeing rebound guy who was no prize by any means. We were both trying to get over someone. My ex new about the new guy, didn't care and I probably looked pathetic becausee i wanted him to be jealous and he knew it. Now that i ended things with rebound, I am left alone with my feelings.. again. The way it should be I suppose. Rebound did some shady things too so don't be too judgemental. I am not saying I am doing things right.. The point is, none of it made me feel any better. Just made things worse.
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