Sanslatete Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 I was with my ex for 6 1/2 years and would've done anything for her. We had a lot in common and used to like the same music, comedy, books....etc. She was the one I would talk to about my deepest fears, my past, my deepest secrets, things I've NEVER told anyone else, and she was the first one I would contact for most things, she was a dream. If I had to describe her attributes, I would have said she was beautiful, kind, funny, quirky, sweet, vulnerable and very loveable. There wasn't any part of her body or character that I would've changed. To me, she was perfect. Then, this year happened, and all of what I thought became a joke (and not the funny, ha, ha type either). The woman I had adored for over 6 years lied to me, decieved me, betrayed me and dragged my life and heart through the gutter. I had thought she was an angel, she wasn't capable of such things, but I was proven to be not as good at reading the signs as I had thought. She went behind my back with some ****wit and didn't miss a heart-beat. I'll never forget the feeling of disbelief/denial that I went through. The ripped out heart, the feelings of total despair, the suicidal tendancies. It was just unconcievable that she would have done this. And to lie to me, to my face whilst looking me in the eye. I still expect to wake up and find I've been dreaming, but it's unfortunately very real. Now, three months down the line, I get an email, blaming me for everything. I wasn't the one who cheated, I told her I loved her every day and showed it in many ways. I would even do the little "Gentlemanly" things like help her on with her coat, open the door for her....etc, and all that stuff, so she can't have felt taken for granted or unloved. I just thought she was someone I could trust 100% with everything, she was my soulmate and confidante, my kindred spirit and my best friend. But she threw it all away....for what, I don't know, or ever will I guess. I've just had a total reality check and don't ever see myself getting that involved with anyone else ever again. She robbed me of my ability to love and trust and I doubt whether I'll ever get them back.
someone3434 Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 I felt the same way you did about my ex. Granted we didn't date as long (almost a year) as you did but she was the world to me and I thought everything was perfect. Now, I'm trying to deal with losing her about a month ago and its freaking hard. She never cheated on me but the pain doesn't hurt any less and my heart still is broken into a million pieces. I just have to take it day by day and work on myself and not worry about something that I have no control over. Try listening to the song "On My Way" by Ingram Hill. A friend of mine recommended that to me and I've been listening to it quite a bit.
Author Sanslatete Posted October 7, 2007 Author Posted October 7, 2007 I'm afraid Alanis Morissette's "You outta know" is more the sort of thing that gets me through just now. I'm still reeling with the pain of being so let down by the one person I thought I could trust. I'll give "On my way" a go though, thanks.
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