Closure?

[stefnfg24]

Bare with me, my story is long.

 

Me and my ex boyfriend dated for 2 months, and everything was good, literally. We had our first mini spat about canceling plans talked about it and worked it out that Friday, right before he went out riding his motorcycle with his friends. I didn’t know if he made it back Saturday, so I called a few times in the span of a few hours. When he didn’t answer or call back, I decide to go over to his house, to see if he’s alive. I get there he steps outside and we talk and he says he was busy all morning working on a bike that he was fixing for his friend, and had gone riding and wasn’t able to answer the phone. Then suddenly this girl, who ive never seen nor met, opens the door then suddenly shuts it.

 

I instantly question his fidelity to me, and he tells me she is the girl whos bike he’s fixing…I have seen the bike, so there was a bike that was getting fixed. He said that he wouldn’t cheat on me, and didn’t know she was coming into town until later Friday night. We talk some more and he said he’ll call me later that night, after he gets done racing. He didn’t, so I call him and tell him that if he had a change of heart, and wants to break up then now is the time to do it. No response. Sunday I decide to send a text message making it easy for him to just end it if that’s what he wants…if you want it to be over, just say so, no hard feelings. But just go ahead and do it so I can move on with my life”. No response. So I decide to go over with the assumption its over, and Im just coming to get my stuff. We talk and he said he didn’t want it to be over but didn’t know how to respond to my calls and texts, and wanted things to cool down, before we talked. He explained that he was having a hard time with some things (just bought a new house), and he needs to focus on him, then focus on us…I understood, and thought everything was fine.

 

The next week was touch and go, since the weekend was rough, but we were both trying to fix our relationship. Everything was fine Sunday night. I have a late class Monday and I called him, no answer, but decided to stop by and see him. He comes to the door and we go outside and he says that he wants a break. He says that he cares about me but so much crap hit him at once, he needs time to figure himself out, without me. He said that he still wants to be with me, but the timing for us to be together is off, and the next weeks are gonna be rough enough. So I ask him if we are gonna get back together later, he said that if we did, it wouldn’t be the same and doesn’t know if we would get over the past. He said he needs two weeks, then he wants to see what happens. He said there is hope in the future, but for now, we should be friends. I explained to him that I cant be friends right now, maybe one day, but if its over, its over and im “deleting” you out of my life. He told me I was overreacting and that he still wants me, no one else, and he cares for me. So I say fine I go into get my stuff and there is a girl sleeping in his bed! It’s the same girl from the previous weekend. He said she was down visiting and checking on her bike, but didn’t sleep well the night before and was napping in MY EX’S BED! Grr. I question him about his fidelity and he says no cheating, no nothing, that she is purely a friend and I also ask is he gonna sleep with her, want to, etc. I tell him I don’t believe him, he says he didn’t and im too hardheaded but no matter what he says, I already have my mind made up that he cheated. I tell him bye and have a nice life. I haven’t heard from him since then, but it hasn’t even been a week yet. P.S. she was there all week.

 

Im really confused, so many things don’t add up. Im trying to move on, but it was not expected that this would happen…seriously he was really clingy.

Should I expect a call, text, instant message from him? Any advice?

I would really appreciate any insight on this, and thanks to all who read it!

Thanks again,

Stefanie

[Krying]

Was this girl an old ex or simply a 2 week fling for your guy? He said he wanted 2 weeks, so maybe he wanted it with her, while stringing you along, then once she's gone, he gets back with you?

 

Sounds horrible. I think you need to move on and really "delete" this guy. If someone likes you, nothing will stand in their way to be with you.

 

Don't listen to his words, look at his actions. He pushed you away, has another girl in his house. Said he had too many things going on, so he wanted space from you, but he still had time for this girl.

[stefnfg24]

This is a girl he met through his now roomie. He is fixing her bike, since its what he does for a living.

 

I havent called him, nor do I plan on it. But my question is, on the weekend prior to the breakup, if a girl gave you the out, why wouldnt you take it? then attempt to work it out, and be with me for another week?

[hopeforlove243]

Why do you ask him to break up with you, you should break up with him. There are guys out there that want to have fun with other girls yet to keep their ex as backup. My ex-bf is just like that, he asked for spaces 2.5 months ago, then next thing I know, he is sleeping with other woman, and he still insists that they are just friends. He also kept calling me, insists that we could be friends, he told me he misses me, blah blah, but I finally had enough, told him that I need space, I don't want to talk to him. It is hard to let him go, we were together 2 years. But, you have to move on, forget about him, he doesn't deserve you, I hate when guy lies to your face. Trust me, he is lying about him and that girl. You need to 'delete' him from your life.

[peachfuzz]

In my experience.. He has already slept with her probly before you even knew he was fixing her bike. You must be a really nice girl that he knows he could trust. But this girl is obviously wow'ing him off his feet. The chick is probably bi-polar and at first shows this upbeat personality that attracts him. Dont worry. She will be gone within a month or so then you get to laugh back in his face. But definitely move on he f***ed up so let him learn for himself. He will soon be hurt just like her hurt you. There are lots of good people for you and maybe he is good too but he is weak. If it didnt happen with that chick it would have happened with someone else later down the road. I'm still going through the same thing as you. My girl was 4 months pregnant with (assumed) our kid when she left me but put all the blame on me and said it's all my fault. She slept with a mutual friend during the month of the baby conceived. Now she is sleeping with her manager and living with him at the restaurant. Life comes at you hard. I also got fired from my job Friday. If you need a friend Stef i'm not far down the road from ya in south carolina. It helps when you can talk to someone with similar issues. Me personally i prefer local people. My post is "She is 4 months pregnant and left me" if you would like to read more in depth of my issue. Bottom line keep ya head up dont let it fall to far. It's gonna hurt it's gonna suck but it's nothing you can do nor anything you could prevent. I got about as much patience as a jack russell puppy. This waiting till the child is born to know if it's mine is eating me alive. I have turned stress into excercise and making the best i can of things. I hear it's best to not hop into another relationship and let wounds heal but it's also nice to have a close friend of the opposite sex. Think of things that make you happy even if small things like hobby you havn't done much of lately.

 

hollar back

-Brad

[stefnfg24]

she didnt know him prior to fixing the bike...she met him through his now roomie, who moved in last weekend.

[peachfuzz]

maybe you can send me your number maybe i'm being phaseecious or however it's spelled. lol. I would like to talk to ya though. at least on the phone. find a way if you have the time

 

-Brad