Author DarlingDoll Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 You've indicated that you're a dud employee who only holds onto her job by blowing the boss. Other people in the workplace are going to be well aware of that. They're going to be resentful that they have to do extra work to compensate for your incompetence - and when the time comes for you to be dumped from the relationship and the job, you're likely to find yourself seriously short of friends. You've indicated that since your last marriage you've become very cold. People sometimes do that to get a false sense of strength, but ultimately all you being a cold bitch will really serve to do is alienate others who might otherwise be sympathetic to your plight (when it blows up) and help him to feel guilt-free when he dumps you and your financial problems by the wayside. Assuming any of your post is genuine (and stranger things happen in life) you'd best keep swallowing those cocktails, making as good a job of it as you can in order to prolong the good times for as long as possible....and start trying to sort your finances out before you get dumped out in the cold. I resent your ignorant assumptions. I didn't start a sexual relationship until less than a year ago and was doing JUST FINE at my job prior to this. Nobody knows about our relationship and if they do, I can care less. I'm not looking to befriend anyone for the longer term at the office.
OWoman Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 I have a career, am independent etc DD I hate to be the one to break it to you but if you're relying on others - they guy who was helping your house payments, your boss helping with car payments - you're NOT independent. I think you should work towards making yourself independent, if you want a sustainable lifestyle that doesn't depend on the whims of others.
Lyssa Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Get off your high horses people. You know you'd do it if desperate. And many women trick their husbands ALL THE TIME to get preg! Don't act like I'm the only one in the world who has thought of this shi+ and if you needed the cash, don't be to sure you wouldn't succumb to the pressure. If I was desperate, I'd go ask for a bank loan. That is if I was desperate but seeing how good of a career I have, I don't have to ask for a loan nor do I need a man to pay my bills. Honestly, you're not the only one who has thought of doing something this wrong but most of the women I know, wouldn't do it. Why trick a man by being pregnant? Just to get him to be with you? You don't even love this man! Whatever happened to the guy who has been paying your bills? Did you scare him away? Besides wanting money from this man, you're also a stalker?? Mann... I'm sorry but I really find it hard to comprehend all this.... You have a career and independent.... so again, please explain why you need to ask more from him?
OWoman Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 If I was desperate, I'd go ask for a bank loan. Or downscale. If you can't afford the house you live in, move somewhere smaller and cheaper. If you can't afford the car you drive, get something smaller and cheaper, or take the bus.
Author DarlingDoll Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 If I was desperate, I'd go ask for a bank loan. That is if I was desperate but seeing how good of a career I have, I don't have to ask for a loan nor do I need a man to pay my bills. Honestly, you're not the only one who has thought of doing something this wrong but most of the women I know, wouldn't do it. Why trick a man by being pregnant? Just to get him to be with you? You don't even love this man! Whatever happened to the guy who has been paying your bills? Did you scare him away? Besides wanting money from this man, you're also a stalker?? Mann... I'm sorry but I really find it hard to comprehend all this.... You have a career and independent.... so again, please explain why you need to ask more from him? I've lived on my own for 12 years honey! I have never asked anyone to do my laundry, buy me groceries, cook me dinner, drive me anywhere, pay the rent AND bills , deal with hassles for me, deal with the landlord, deal with anyone giving me financial or personal troubles.. I had to do everything on MY own unlike this guy's wife. A little money doesn't really fall into the overall equation of independence. There are some people I know that still ask for help from their parents for one thing or anything besides money and I have never been as needy or weak. No, I don't consider myself a stalker either. And to owoman, my house has been on the market for 5 months and it's net to about break even IF it sells. I cannot afford to drop the price. So right now I'm doing what's necessary.
Trimmer Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 So I'm not clear: Are you independent, self-sufficient, and just looking for "A little money [that] doesn't really fall into the overall equation of independence," or are you desperate? Which is it? The only scary part of this bit is that I'm starting to obsess over his wife.... I get this tight knot in the pit of my stomach every time I view her but I CAN'T HELP doing this.. wtf is wrong with me? I have no feelings for this man, so why am I so curious about his wife. Do you enjoy the taste of rabbit, by the way? Get off your high horses people. You know you'd do it if desperate. Actually, no, I'm sure I wouldn't do anything of the sort. Have you really considered the financial ramifications of having a child? I bet in the end, getting pregnant by your MM - considering that he may well turn tail and run, requiring you to go after him to get any kind of support payments - wouldn't result in any better a lifestyle for you than what you see before you now. Now, I'm not heartless. I just have no feelings or guilt relating to the wife or the kids etc. Do you have any feelings relating to the child you are proposing to bring into the world, by a father who may not be interested in being a part of his/her life? So yes, many have thought of it, many do it; that doesn't make it right. Again I ask: who do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you recognize her?
Impudent Oyster Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Get off your high horses people. You know you'd do it if desperate. And many women trick their husbands ALL THE TIME to get preg! Don't act like I'm the only one in the world who has thought of this shi+ and if you needed the cash, don't be to sure you wouldn't succumb to the pressure. . Uh, NO, many women do not trick their husbands "all the time" to get pregnant, unless they're fools who want to live the rest of their lives being told "Well you wanted him/her, he/she is your problem." Only an immature, selfish, stupid woman would have a child with someone when he didn't want it. Normal couples tend to agree on such matters of major importance such as when and how many children to have and those who don't, aren't generally married for long. Only a complete moron would get pregnant because they needed cash, do you have any idea how much money you would get for child support? That's for the CHILD, not so you could sit on your butt all day and watch Jerry Springer. If you think you'll be getting enough cash to cover all of your expenses, I've got a bridge to sell you. Sure, get knocked up, take him to court and let us all know how you're rolling in the dough from MM's huge child support checks. He must be a billionaire.
Impudent Oyster Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Now, I'm not heartless. I just have no feelings or guilt relating to the wife or the kids etc. She married a man in my dating range.. shouldn't she have seen this coming? As if he wouldn't cheat with someone else.. give me a break. The only scary part of this bit is that I'm starting to obsess over his wife. I do not have feelings for this man and am not in love with him or anything like that. I do not want to "steal" him or anything of the sort. But she is a stay at home mom pretty much and goes out when the kids are dropped off at school and I've caught myself driving by the school several times to catch a glimpse of her in the morning. I really don't see her as any competition as I'm pretty good-looking, but I get this tight knot in the pit of my stomach every time I view her but I CAN'T HELP doing this.. wtf is wrong with me? I have no feelings for this man, so why am I so curious about his wife. She's a stay-at-home loafer for pete's sake. I have a career, am independent etc and what does she have? A couple of screaming brats and a cheating husband and almost a decade of youth on me (yet I believe I look better). Are you for real? She married a man in "your dating range" so naturally she should have expected that you would sleep with him? That is literally the funniest thing I've ever read on an OW board. You have a career and are independent but you're considering getting pregnant with a child you don't want by a man you don't love so you can get money that your fabulous "career" isn't providing. That's INSANE. Have you ever thought that MM and his wife would keep the child and raise it, leaving you with no child support and just the stretch marks to show for all that effort? I have a feeling if they wanted custody they'd get in in an instant. What a brilliant plan.
Impudent Oyster Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 She's a stay-at-home loafer for pete's sake. Clearly you've never raised children. Too funny!
Author DarlingDoll Posted October 13, 2007 Author Posted October 13, 2007 Clearly you've never raised children. Too funny! Sorry, I didn't realize there was much involved on her part when she throws her brats in school, lets the teachers etc babysit for the day and thereafter goes shopping, spends all of husbands cash and then sits her lazy azz at home doing a few dishes and watching soap operas. You know, I don't even think she has worked a day in her life. She's nothing but a bum. He should be with a woman like ME who is in his AGE RANGE, not someone like she! Her husband is attractive and wealthy.. he said he would never divorce because of how she treats him. He said that he has never been treated so good and of course he's handsome and rich.. who wouldn't treat him well if they were their meal ticket? ??? He said she was with him since he was broke... but if this was the case, why cheat so easily and with little guilt? He doesn't love her.. I think he's more in love with me. If things got mutually genuine between us, I'm fairly certain he would leave her for me.
RecordProducer Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 DarlingDoll, that's a very interesting question you posed and I have an interesting answer that will surprise you. Men like woman who ask for nothing. Only in that case they are willing to give. You're not looking for marriage, you're happy with what you get fromhim and he voluntarily pays for your car. If you ask for your mortgage, you will come across as needy and he'll lose interest in you altogether. DO NOT tell him that you're looking for a better paying job. Tell him that you're looking for a job that's more satisfying. Mentione the mortgage problem in a phone conversation with your your friend that he will hear. He needs to NOT feel pressured about your problem. If he offers nothing, that's it, accept the reality. I think he would ahve offered you a higher salary if he could by now. If he didn't, that's how much he can or wants to do for you. We cannot get everything in life. My sisterly advice: don't rely on men and don't care about money so much. I decided that other than food, basic clothes, a safe home, and a functioning car - I don't need anything else. It makes my life easier. I am married to a millionaire, but I don't spend money and don't care about things that can be bought with money. It's an attitude, not a necessity. Be prepared that he will not pay for your mortgage.
GreenEyedLady Posted October 13, 2007 Posted October 13, 2007 My sisterly advice: don't rely on men and don't care about money so much. I decided that other than food, basic clothes, a safe home, and a functioning car - I don't need anything else. It makes my life easier. This is great advice for women! Right on!
InLimbo2 Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 -I had to do everything on MY own unlike this guy's wife.- Sooo, because she's married and you aren't - you are entitled? How and what she's contributed/contributes to the marriage is not for you to put a pricetag on. - A little money doesn't really fall into the overall equation of independence. - We're not talkin a few bucks to buy Starbucks here - you're talking you can't make your car or mortgage payments - that most definately falls into he overall equation of independence. -There are some people I know that still ask for help from their parents for one thing or anything besides money- They aren't trading sex for it - that's prostitution, no matter how you sugar coat it. I've lived on my own for 12 years honey! I have never asked anyone to do my laundry, buy me groceries, cook me dinner, drive me anywhere, pay the rent AND bills , deal with hassles for me, deal with the landlord, deal with anyone giving me financial or personal troubles.. I had to do everything on MY own unlike this guy's wife. A little money doesn't really fall into the overall equation of independence. There are some people I know that still ask for help from their parents for one thing or anything besides money and I have never been as needy or weak. No, I don't consider myself a stalker either. And to owoman, my house has been on the market for 5 months and it's net to about break even IF it sells. I cannot afford to drop the price. So right now I'm doing what's necessary.
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