Hayley23 Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Hey everyone, I'm completely lost right now and would appreciate any input. I've tried to make this short.. where to start, well we met quite a few months ago and from the very beginning he initiated the moves. He took me for out-of-town trips, I got to know his friends, we spent quite a bit of time together etc etc things were progressing but then seemed to go a step back. he's always planning last minute and although it's always been that way it's a bit of an issue at times. He invited me to his cousin's wedding (of course, at the very last minute) but set aside all the un-necessary drama that went on before I got there the night was just wonderful. I was formally introduced to everyone as the gf and although we never had that talk, it's pretty obvious that's where we're at. The next day I kind of freaked out... I haven't been in a relationship in so long and it just dawned on me that in fact, I did have feelings for him. He knew something was up but I couldn't bring myself to tell him. His family was visiting for a week so he was very busy with diners and parties. But he insisted on making plans and then had to break them off. I don't expect to become first priority, especially family but it just seemed like I was coming after everything. A week went by and I hadn't seen him, we were just keeping in touch over phone. I started to feel neglected and it just seemed like he wasn't making any effort at all to see me. I got a phone call, it was the ex's birthday and I was invited over... I decided to go. I knew I shouldn't have but at this point I was pretty pissed off. Needless to say, we ended up sleeping together. I feel absolutely terrible and tried to figure out why I had done such a thing. I think it was just out of pure revenge since I didn't know what my guy was up to, I felt like doing this would prevent me from getting hurt (even though I was hurting.) Just recently we had our very first fight... I told him about a few things that were bothering me and he mentionned a few things, I gave him answers but got nothing from him.. he told me we'd talk about it later. I couldn't wait any longer so I typed up an email and let it all out. He thought we had settled everything and the email came as quite a shock. I told him that he could take all the time he wanted but if that's the way things were going to be then we had nothing to look forward to. It took a week for him to finally adress the situation and start talking to me. The exact same day I had given up. (figures) We talked for a bit, then he invited me over to his place that night so we could talk some more. Well not a whole lot of talking went on that night, we were caught up in the heat of the moment and I know this was a huge mistake on my part, I should have forced the talk so it could all be over with. But I also thought things were just understood and we could get past them. Little issues keep popping up again (sometimes it's him, other times it's me) and last night we sat down for a bit and had another small talk that seems to get us nowhere since we're only temporarily fine with the situation... He's told me before that I'm not showing much interest in him but I've explained that it's only because he's so on & off that I'm not sure what's going on. I then asked if it was possible that we were both "putting up walls" and that was the reason there were so much confusion, in which he agreed. His friends have told me before that he wasn't very experienced in the relationship department, is it really an excuse though? Sometimes he's very affectionate and others he's completely cold, is this normal!? Is there something i'm missing here? It just sets me off and I completely shut down. It's vicious cycle that I can't seem to escape. We're fairly young, should be having fun.. I know all of this but there must be something I can do to keep myself from getting hurt and acting strangely. I think I might be afraid of falling for someone who doesn't feel the same way about me and that (like previous ones) will just run away if I do. Although at times it's clear that's not true, other times I feel like it couldn't be more true. I need advice, before it's too late......
Recommended Posts