Quiet Carl Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 Please be gentle, I'm new around here. I've probably put this in the entirely wrong forum section! I've been married for 14 years. Unfortunately, the last 10 to 12 of those years have been difficult and many times from my point of view loveless & lacking in affection. Without going into too much detail, my wife has significant emotional baggage and a psychiatric condition, both of which affect the quality of our marriage & the quality of our lives and that of our child. Unfortunately, despite the urging of friends, family and myself for 10 years, my wife refuses to seek help for either problem. I consider that the person I married is 'lost' and I've been waiting for that person to find her way back to me; though I am starting to lose hope now. However, I remain committed to the family, as we have an only son who is moderately intellectually disabled and he needs stability in his life - he's autistic. Until recently, I've been too frightened to make any moves to alter the status-quo; I just don't want to risk any negative outcomes for my son. I've just quietly kept my head down, doing what I can for the family, while trying to stay sane myself. A few months ago, I met a wonderful lady, we've become good friends, and her friendship has been very uplifting and supportive for me. Seeing her family has made me realize that I'm missing out on so much, that my son is missing out on a more 'normal' life too. Now given that my friend has 'rescued' me on an emotional level, I'm very drawn to her. And here's where the problem lies: While I'd love to let my friend know of my inner most feelings for her, we're both married and both committed to our respective families. Does anyone have any suggestions on: 1) helping me keep my sanity though the problems on my side of the family/marriage? 2) what can I say to myself to stop my heart from ruling my head and keep my friendship on a platonic, but at the same time emotionally close level with my 'rescuer'? Is that delicate balance going to be too hard to maintain long term?
Jinnah Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 "... in sickness and in health, 'till death do us part." Be there for your wife... she needs you! Check out the infidelity threads, look at the decastating outcomes... even emotional affairs are dangerous... tell your wife how you feel... show her this (your post)... I bet this will open her eyes and let her know she needs to take action!
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