Slapshot2286 Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Well, here are my thoughts on this subject. Men are going to masturbate. Women are going to masturbate (and if they don't, they're denying natural urges and suppressing their sexual feelings, which probably leads to their insecurities with their boyfriends/husbands doing it). I agree that women need to get off their high horse about men doing it. There's no reason to get offended. What I don't understand, is that women look at porn stars, supermodels, etc, and they get mad that their boyfriend is looking at them. Then someone on here said, wouldn't it be nice to airbrush off all of your cellulite, etc etc etc? Well, as far as pictures go, yeah, airbrushing is possible. In videos, that technique is much harder, and out of the financial reach of the porn producers to utilize. Therefore, the girls in video porn do not have these unattractive features. Why? Because they work for it. Whether its a respectable profession or not, those women work for those bodies (not the plastic surgery part...), and that is commendable. I get really frustrated when my girlfriend looks at these girls and gets upset that they have something she doesn't. When somebody has something I don't, and I want it, I work for it until I get it. Life's airbrushes are called "gym" and "kitchen." Get to know them well, and you too can be like a porn star. (NOTE that was not a sexist "women should be in the kitchen" comment, but a nutrition comment). On another note. As far as keeping it from your partner. I look at porn, and I don't tell my girlfriend. She's asked, and she says "Yeah I know guys do it" and I agree, but I don't readily call her up and tell her that I'm looking at porn. Its a thing we both understand that happens, and thats fine. In a relationship, you both need to have your private time, of which does not have to be accountable to each other. I agree with whoever said that looking at porn is something you do when you're bored. I hang around on my computer playing games and what not, and when I get done, eh, sometimes I pull up the boobies. I'm not so horny that I can't take it and have to masturbate. Its there, so I look at it. I do find a very interesting point that you made, Am705731. I agree that porn makes you agressive. I have noted this myself. I also agree that agressiveness is not good in a relationship for the most part, especially in the bedroom. I agree with that whole chain of events that you described. I actually recognize some of it in myself, which is an inspiration in itself for me to change. Finally, being obsessed and searching your boyfriend's computer for porn is just plain wrong. Thats a harsh invasion of privacy, and a complete lack of trust. He is NOT a dog, and do not treat him like one. Just because you let him pick his "treat," doesn't make it right. Thats just plain controlling, and frankly, a little bit scary. The fact that he went along with it is even scarier.....
katiebour Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Girls- I have three things to say: 1. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. Go to one of those adult bookstores, and buy an issue of Playgirl. Browse a bit. Try to understand what it is about porn that he likes. There are companies that cater to women's tastes- see if there's anything out there that you and your boy could enjoy together. I own this book, and I love it: The Perfumed Garden: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0732256348/qid=1119046107/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_ur_1/002-1527240-1876031?v=glance&books&n=507846 Here's a review of a video that looks interesting to me; they're not all "Debbie Does Dallas": Caribbean Heat: Enter the sultry tropics of the Caribbean where lovers become lost in the erotic splendor of an untamed world. Let your mind wander to a place where soft breezes caress your skin like a gentle lover… where the water is like liquid velvet and the sun envelopes you in a warm and passionate embrace. Watch as caramel-skinned beauties entice sable-bodied men. Two lovers discover an isolated beach unaware that they are being watched by another lusty couple. Young sweethearts celebrate their engagement by swimming to a secret alcove to make feverish love. A visiting tourist finds the anonymous affair she’s fantasized about… and more! Try and make it something you can share. 2. Masturbation is natural. Don't ask him to stop: join him! Here's a great site that gives a lot of techniques that I'm dying to try out on my guy: http://www.jackinworld.com/ Here's a site for the ladies: http://www.clitical.com/ 3. Don't try and dictate the right of your boy to pleasure himself. It's HIS body, for god's sake. LB makes a great point that masturbation removes the need to focus on someone else's pleasure, and lets you enjoy it all by yourself. If porn or masturbation bother you that much, then you're better off finding a guy who feels the same. Trying to make a someone feel ashamed and guilty about their natural tendencies is mean-hearted. Unless it interferes with your relationship in a major way (i.e. no sex) then frankly, it's none of your business. That's my opinion, anyway- take what you like and leave the rest.
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