spike7165 Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 Hi I have posted a few times before in my rollercoaster relationship, so do a search for the full story I wont bore you with it again. Short version now in the last week, is that I left my partner and family thinking was returning to the UK to make money for them, in reality she had found someone else and didn't want to either a) hurt me or b) burn her bridges. Anyway went back to see her and confront her, she admitted it. Game over I thought, then I found some information on him on the internet and myspace that he was still seeking other women. I shared this with her and she finished with him. Well what happened was I showed her, she was very angry, after a couple of days of arguments for the strength to throw him out. I know he has been back a couple of times but he is not back there. IN FACT, after dumping him last night we went out, got drunk and ended up making love in our home. She is quite angry when drunk and them got upset and I think realised what has happened. She has been pretty down since then. So I am sure a lot of people who have heard some of my story before will say why havent u dumped her. Well, it's my family, her, her son I love and my home all up for grabs. I love them and will fight for them until 100% game over. She is in a terrible mood today after dumping him and basically realising he was not as good as he looked, and is taking this out on me quiet a lot as a) I am there and b) I helped her. It's a turnaround from the night before when she was telling all her friends I had saved her! So, now she is saying please give me some space, just leave me or you will loose me forever. She actually said this before she dumped him that she knew she would need a couple of days on her own. I am trying to respect it but it is difficult to see her curled up in bed crying and not want to help her but getting screamed at to go and leave her alone. What should I do? I feel if I back off she will cling to him even though she knows he is ****, whereas if I try and help her, call her etc. I am just pushing her to him as well!!!! What do I do? I know the traditional attitude is dump her, but she really thought she was choosing someone good when we had a difficult time in our relationship which was a lot of my fault, though of course she shouldnt have had an affair. They are my family in my home and I have never felt like this about anyone before. Thanks guys and gals
InvisibleTouch Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 Hi, Sorry to hear about your problem. The most effective form of attack (so to speak) is retreat. In her eyes you do not have value. In reality you have huge value it's just that she is too screwed up to see it. By being absent from her life her emotions will be influenced positively for you. You however, despite your love for her and her kid have to ask yourself why it is you are prepared to tolerate the behaviour of someone who obviously has no respect for you. Think about this point, dont disregard it. In reality you should be saying to her that you are withdrawing from your relationship in order to gain a better perspective on whether you want to be with her or not. This isn't about you winning her back, this is about her winning you back, please dont lose sight of this important point.
Recommended Posts