sveltskye Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 Hello all! I'd like some advice. My boyfriend and I have a mutual friend -well, he's a bit more his friend than mine because I was introduced through my bf, but we both hang out with him and I like him, think he's a nice guy. However, he's made it known that he's attracted to me and sometimes has made inappropriate comments to me. We invited him to join a new gaming group we were starting and he makes the group uncomfortable sometimes because of the things he says; for example, when my stomach was hurting one night he said something about that 'not being a good reason for me to moan', or some such thing. Another time I commented that I just didn't find my boyfriend intimidating (in context of the game) and he said something like "That's because you've seen him in bed"- which made us all kind of awkward and uncomfortable. He also tried to tickle my feet, so I kicked him and told him to stop. My boyfriend and I both like him as a person, and my boyfriend says he doesn't feel threatened by him at all (for good reason, really), but its getting to the point where he needs to be made aware that it's not appropriate. What is the best way to approach this? Should my boyfriend say something?
norajane Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 You're the one who is uncomfortable, so you should be the one who says something. Just tell him some of his comments make you feel uncomfortable, and aren't in good taste.
Timberlane Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 This "friend" of your boyfriend is sort of a toxic clown, isn't he? He hides barbs behind "humor" to communicate things with you, mainly that you should be sleeping with him and not your boyfriend. Take the idiot aside and tell him the comments aren't appreciated, that you find him repulsive, and that as far as you are concerned he can just remain silent when he feels the need to be a jerk. Better yet, say all of this at the next gaming meeting in front of everyone. That should set the boundaries quite nicely. Did you mention to your boyfriend that you think these comments are lame? Do mention it, as I'm sure he would agree.
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