halfhumain Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 I get jealous very easelly. It bothers me knowing that my girlfriend hangs out with guys at school, at work or with old friends from high school. Anything that has to do with other guys bothers me. When were not together I wonder if shes calling/getting calls from other guys. Even if I see her just talking and laughing with some guy freaks me out and most of her friends are guys. It's always been like this and Its killing our relationship. How do i get over this.. why is this happening?!
Ocean-Blue Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Have you tried to figure out why you are so insecure? Have you been cheated on before? Has your gf given you any reason to not trust her? There is nothing more annoying than an insecure man. You need to learn to be confident in your relationship. If there is nothing wrong and she has not done anything to make you question her, LET IT GO! It will eat away at you and you'll find yourself alone and miserable. Men and women interact on a daily basis. It's a fact of life. You can't put your gf in a women only colony, can you? You have to learn to be OK with her talking to men.
Biker2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 As I was typing my response, I read Ocean-Blues...about sums it up...well said. I have tended to date tomboys because I like to date athletic women, and they normally hang around a bunch of guys. And, yes other guys will hit on this type of girl. So I just make sure I treat her as well as I can, AND DO NOT ACT INSECURE.
Author halfhumain Posted October 8, 2007 Author Posted October 8, 2007 Have you tried to figure out why you are so insecure? Have you been cheated on before? Has your gf given you any reason to not trust her? There is nothing more annoying than an insecure man. You need to learn to be confident in your relationship. If there is nothing wrong and she has not done anything to make you question her, LET IT GO! It will eat away at you and you'll find yourself alone and miserable. Men and women interact on a daily basis. It's a fact of life. You can't put your gf in a women only colony, can you? You have to learn to be OK with her talking to men. we just got back together after a month and a half break. weve been together for 2 years prior to the "breakup" and everything was perfect until i got insecure and thats when the relationship went sour, hence the break. She had this rebound guy for a week or so before she realized the wanted to be with me and nobody else. she literally came over, cried and told me she needs me in her life and nobody else. are her actions normal for a women? should i be worried about what she has done with the guy ( no they havent slept together or got physical at all ) and question her about him? Or should I let everything stay in the past and make this relationship work and try to be confident. it just seems hard at times because negative thoughts come into my mind of her being with another guy and thats when the jealousy kicks in.
Ocean-Blue Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 we just got back together after a month and a half break. weve been together for 2 years prior to the "breakup" and everything was perfect until i got insecure and thats when the relationship went sour, hence the break. She had this rebound guy for a week or so before she realized the wanted to be with me and nobody else. she literally came over, cried and told me she needs me in her life and nobody else. are her actions normal for a women? should i be worried about what she has done with the guy ( no they havent slept together or got physical at all ) and question her about him? Or should I let everything stay in the past and make this relationship work and try to be confident. it just seems hard at times because negative thoughts come into my mind of her being with another guy and thats when the jealousy kicks in. Depends on the boundaries you both set when you commenced on the break. If it wasn't discussed, you have to go with the status quo and assume anything is OK while on a break (remember the famous Ross-Rachel "WE WERE ON A BREAK!"?). If it bothers you so much, try talking to her about that specific incident. Tell her your issues of insecurity stem from anxieties you are having over what may've gone on w/ that guy. But realize that she may point out that you had such issues even before (thus prompting the break). Either way, you are going to have to get over it. She left you once b/c of this and she may again if you don't get a hold of yourself. Trust is paramount to a healthy, successful relationship. If she feels that you don't trust her...well she'll eventually want to leave you again. You need to fix it. Fix it now. Or you'll lose her.
Trialbyfire Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Insecurity is a double-edged sword. Are they within you or does she not provide you with a sufficient feeling of security, within your relationship? Have you ever experienced this feeling in other relationships?
Author halfhumain Posted October 8, 2007 Author Posted October 8, 2007 this hasnt happened in other relationships becasue i have never loved nor cared about anyone as much as i love my girlfriend. i told her it bothers me and she said he meant nothing to her and that she will cut him out of her life for good cuz hes a nobody to her. Yet, i still feel insecure. Why? Whats wrong with me.. i always have this urge to ask her what she did all day, who she talked to and about what, EVERY SINGLE DAY. it bothers me if shes talking about school or work or the weather with another guy, sometimes its even with girls. She promised me that that guy is/was nothing to her and she tries so hard to make me feel secure, more than i can ask for, yet im still a worthless bastard insecure bastard... its hard to sleep sometimes. its as if i want her al lto myself. I feel like if i see her happy with other people/friends that she'll leave me or that someone can come between us.
Trialbyfire Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Do you have a number of friends to hang out with? People who enjoy similar interests? The reason I ask this is, if you're in a dependent or codependent relationship, it's easy to feel threatened because they're the be-all and end-all of your world.
niceguy27 Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 If my ex and I were to reconcile I look at it this way...If she came back that means she chose ME over anyone else. That alone erases anything and everything she may have done while we were split. I think if you can look past stuff like that you really do love someone.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 lol hello =[ Your putting too much on this one girl! Just like TBF said... your overall mental health and self worth will improve if you book up your social calender.
Author halfhumain Posted October 10, 2007 Author Posted October 10, 2007 Oh i have a buch of friends with whom i drink and go out on weekends and chill during the week but aside from my social life i do feel like she is "the be-all and end-all of your world". I dont see anything wrong with that though... she means the world to me and i love her to death, whats wrong with that? surpisingly these comments made me feel a lot better and a bit more secure about myself, thanks alot.
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