carrotgirl Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I decided not to get over him. I decided to take a little bit from all of the wisdom shared with me here and I'm mushing it around to suit. I'm not going to get over the past with him, instead I keep accepting what was and is. I'm not going to get over the future that isn't with him, because no one knows what the future holds other than eventual death. I decided to just keep being Carrot with my quirks and questions and love of cats and mustard and risk theory. I decided there isn't really anything to get over. And what for to get over? I don't want to get over something so I can have an unpredictable future. I'm going to have an unpredictable future no matter what! Carrot
NorCalDave Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I decided not to get over him. I decided to take a little bit from all of the wisdom shared with me here and I'm mushing it around to suit. I'm not going to get over the past with him, instead I keep accepting what was and is. I'm not going to get over the future that isn't with him, because no one knows what the future holds other than eventual death. I decided to just keep being Carrot with my quirks and questions and love of cats and mustard and risk theory. I decided there isn't really anything to get over. And what for to get over? I don't want to get over something so I can have an unpredictable future. I'm going to have an unpredictable future no matter what! Carrot Huh? You lost me.
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 That's one way of addressing it by allowing your "now" to drive you. So you go through the motions of living, accepting what life has to give you, whether good or bad. Not my style carrot but then, each person has to come up with a way to cope. You can either let your environment drive you, or you can drive your environment.
Sanslatete Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I'd rather have an unpredictable future that is at least 50% likely to be positive, than have these memories of lost love and possiblities to deal with forever. I miss her badly but she did me wrong and took my trust and belief with her. I don't want to wallow in the mire that she left me in for the rest of my days. I want to be happy again.
underpants Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Carrot, It might be time for an demonstration of consequence. Could you arrange to have flowers delivered to you at work? A single rose with some spray and a vague note like "I look forward to seeing you again...John".
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Before I forget to mention, living in the "now" and allowing life to drive you, doesn't make anyone a warrior or chieftain. What I've discovered is that it makes you one of the walking wounded.
Author carrotgirl Posted October 6, 2007 Author Posted October 6, 2007 You can either let your environment drive you, or you can drive your environment. Tri, I like to think it's both and neither. Perhaps it's a little of long live the head the body is dead but really, I don't care for rules without proof and before I go about ordering and limiting my universe, I'd like to know what there is first! Carrot.
Author carrotgirl Posted October 6, 2007 Author Posted October 6, 2007 Before I forget to mention, living in the "now" and allowing life to drive you, doesn't make anyone a warrior or chieftain. What I've discovered is that it makes you one of the walking wounded. Welcome the wonderful world of Carrot! We are the warriors! We are the chieftans! was the cry from the SNL skit, Lothar of the Hill People. Come on, you don't remember the prehistoric guys who sat around mulling the timeless problems of men and women relating with each other? Somehow the reminder that love, the feeling, is neither provable nor disprovable reminded me of Lothar. I'd rather have an unpredictable future that is at least 50% likely to be positive, than have these memories of lost love and possiblities to deal with forever. I miss her badly but she did me wrong and took my trust and belief with her. I don't want to wallow in the mire that she left me in for the rest of my days. I want to be happy again. Sans, it's just as possible and even probable that at any given point in the future you will experience more and less of "happy" regardless of your actions or intent. I'm going to enjoy my life now AND later (along with the miserable portions I'm sure) since barring death, I'll be doing that at some level anyway. I don't need to falsely perpetuate misery now to prove to myself that a better future awaits. Not saying that's what it is for you, but that is what it would be for me. It might be time for an demonstration of consequence. Could you arrange to have flowers delivered to you at work? A single rose with some spray and a vague note like "I look forward to seeing you again...John". WHAT?!? Why for? Carrot
Trialbyfire Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 Tri, I like to think it's both and neither. Perhaps it's a little of long live the head the body is dead but really, I don't care for rules without proof and before I go about ordering and limiting my universe, I'd like to know what there is first! Carrot. Limit? Who's talking limits or order? Both are against my religion. No doubt we limit ourselves but why should we?
Trialbyfire Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 mulling the timeless problems of men and women relating with each other? A conflict of terms...
Author carrotgirl Posted October 6, 2007 Author Posted October 6, 2007 Tri, love da humor! Love it! Regarding limits, for me, putting bounds on the unknown is more of a mind-flusk than dealing with the reality of plain old unknown. Which isn't to say I prefer not knowing, only that in the absence of knowing, I take no benefit from clinging to that which is false over floundering in the ooze of that which is not yet proved. Vodka time now?
Trialbyfire Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 Haha...you're trying to create order from the unknown. There's nothing to cling to, nothing to organize or categorize. You accept that there are no limits or order, you don't try to control it. Embrace it baby!! Oh. Vodka, okay, pass me a glass. Seabreeze martini please.
Author carrotgirl Posted October 6, 2007 Author Posted October 6, 2007 you're trying to create order from the unknown. NahThere's nothing to cling to, nothing to organize or categorize. You accept that there are no limits or order, you don't try to control it. Embrace it baby!! Yah! I was kidding about the vodka. Still out. But a SeaBreeze does sound good. Virtual cocktails all around!
Author carrotgirl Posted October 6, 2007 Author Posted October 6, 2007 Kampai! The SeaBreeze sounded so good I went for a stroll. It's a gorgeous, steamy night here. So what goes on in the neighborhood? The child abusers to the back are having a naked pool party. Yechh. Incredibly, the ex was all tucked away in bed by 9. Everywhere on the street I saw people smiling for no apparent reason and that made me smile more. The video store was out of the Transformers movie (so I'll just watch HellBoy some more). And then I got asked for ID at the shop! It was a really grand walk. The SeaBreeze is OK too. Carrot
Author carrotgirl Posted October 6, 2007 Author Posted October 6, 2007 WooHOO! Undies!? Come have a SeaBreeze and explain your post please.
underpants Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 WooHOO! Undies!? Come have a SeaBreeze and explain your post please. Thanks Carrot. I am indulging in a diet soda at the moment, however I raise my glass to you. I thought about your situation today on my long drive. From what I read I pondered a theory. It does not really matter in the long run but it was a theory. Did this dude know about this upcoming possibility to work with you while you two were dating? If he got the job could he have twisted his logic around so that taking the job meant he had to give up the romantic relationship? Again, it does not matter but I had that thought today. As far as the suggestion to send yourself flowers. It was a gamish thought. He broke up with you and yet seemed to be really into you, or you perceived the relationship to be a very good one. I just thought maybe that would be a way to knock him over the head with ...a flower (2x4). It may have no effect, or make him a little jealous. His lack of communication and decision so matter of fact end things is probably enough of a flag to let it go. Yet, it has to be hard to make the transition when you have to see him daily.
Author carrotgirl Posted October 6, 2007 Author Posted October 6, 2007 I finally gave up on all that would/could shyte. Whatever it was that that made him love me to begin with, it's still there. Whatever it was that made him FLIP out is probably still there too. Love me or leave me, it's still me. Jealousy? If he has jealousy, his type of jealousy is tough to follow. He's never been jealous that I know of and we've known each other a long time. He's pitied men who have crushes on me knowing I didn't even notice. He thinks it's a funny, twisted show watching men fall all over themselves when I'm around. He gets extremely angry when men treat me poorly or act disrespectfully just because of how I look. I think he would laugh at any man who would send me flowers to impress me. I don't think it would ever occur to him that I would send flowers to myself. Not when that money could buy books or a kitty. This is just not how he thinks. He's not jealous of me. That's what I think. I could be wrong though because I sure as hell didn't see this break up coming! Carrot
Recommended Posts