bish Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 I am finding it extremely difficult to adjust, knowing that the community knows the whole story. I am filled with guilt and shame, and feel like everyone hates me. I live in a small town too. And you may be right. If the wife of this man was very well liked, you may be despised in that small town. I might add here that there is a major age difference between us. I'm 30 and he is 59. All I can say to that is.... When you are a 40 year old woman in your prime, he's gonna be a wrinkly old viagra-holic...sagging ass and sack....what are you thinking? Small towns are very gossipy and judgemental Usually the people who pull the "judgemental" card are the ones doing something they know is wrong. Nothing wrong with people being judgemental...everyone does it. Anyone who says they don't are lying. and I'm not quite sure how to deal with this. I can either move back to San Francisco, and continue the long distance thing, try and work it our here in this small town Does your father approve of you with someone probably older than him? I'd say you move on and find someone else. Are you really wanting to be with someone who is 70 when you are 40? How can I cope with my affair in this small judgemental town? If you stay in the town...you have to just take it. You can make a resolution to not let it bother you, or you can move. I should also mention that he and his ex are very amicable and get along better than ever now. She has been very understanding and knows she has a part in this whole affair. Please Help!!! No...she had a part in their problems...the affair is all his and yours. She is not responsible for the affair...you 2 are.
bish Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 NOFORGIVENESS: He owns a bunch of property here as well, is able to pay his employees very well, and has built a huge building for his usiness. I know for a fact that there is no way he's sell the buz, or relocate it. Not to mention, his ex owns half the business...and she's here permanently. Thanks for the advice though. He owns a business...owns a "bunch of property"...pays his employees "very well"...yet only makes 60K?? Hmmmmmm..... Sure you are not trying to thwart the "golddigger" thing?
whichwayisup Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Is this guy willing to have more children? To get married again? These are things you have to think about if you want your own children one day....Your own family unit. Last thing you want to deal with is, when you're 33, 34 years old and wanting to have a child and him tell you "Sorry, I had my kids already, I don't want anymore..." then you've basically pissed away 3 years of your life with a man who isn't into having more kids. FIND OUT NOW what his thoughts are on this.
Lizzie60 Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 I agree with WWIU... Do you want children? Does he want children? You're still young... I say, ignore them... just be nice and smile to everyone... if the people close to him (wife, kids, friends) are OK with it... who cares what the rest of the world think about it.. It's YOUR life.. YOU come first... never forget that! Give it some time... I'm sure they will eventually give up and see that you're having something solid.
OpenBook Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Whatever you do, DON'T MARRY HIM!! Just enjoy him for RIGHT NOW. If it gets to be too much in that small town for you, then end it and move. You're currently under no obligation to anyone. Keep it that way!!
Havn_a_life Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Just like you look like a bitter, hateful middle-aged woman... I wouldn't say that. She's stating something very relivant. A lot of people will have that opinion. That doesn't make them bitter or small minded or old.
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