Bosiell Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Yo Spind Super n all. Bah now its my turn for having a poo day, worst for a long time. I think down to my feeling under the weather and work pretty stressfull at the mo. I nearly lost it big today, so close to chucking my phone accross the room. Well coming online and reading the posts has helped cheer me up a bit Yeah you think Mr Beam wouldve sorted me out Spind As for the snogging, well maybe next time lol. Super, we need to start snoggin them girls again soon mate, they dont know what theyre missin So hows the head today Spind, u better? Oh and something you said, I suppose this is all hitting me now, because, as time goes, it becomes clearer that it really is over. Yes, I am feeling that today, that slight hope I had is slowly fading to zero. Sad but true. Well I need a pick me up, erm Mr Beam springs to mind Chat soon, more /hugs
Spinderella Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Well, I spent many hours facing and accepting all I was afraid of, until I found the real me, within all of those layers of anxiety. I became full of peace and harmony, and now I feel fine. Bos, sorry you have had a bad day. Its an essential part of healing though, to accept it is over between you, so its not actually bad as you think.
Bosiell Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Been off work today with this cold. So on my lonesome at home As we all know it is the times alone when the mind starts to wander, all the questions, feelings and memories flood in. Trying to be postive, reading a book, watchin a movie. but to be honest I am not in the best of moods. Well I have no choice but to let the feelings hit me and let them crash upon my castle and disperse. Tomorrow is another day. I think I will be fine again when I can get back to some normality after being under the weather. So could do with a hug right now x
Jmina Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 awh thankyou Bos, that means a lot. Spind! i only just got to the threads now, i'm glad that you are feeling more peaceful. its scary when you feel like you have gone back to square one, you feel as if your loosing control but as you have just demonstrated the human spirit is amazing and you have pulled yourself out of it. I'm feeling a bit better again, i cannot believe it has been 5 months.. it does feel like a long time, i guess to be more acurate i cannot believe how far i have come in 5 months. even though some days i feel consumed in saddness and grief, and i think to myself 'but i love her so much i'm sure she can feel it, why isn't she calling to make peace' but then i realise she can't, because really, 5 months isnt a long time for a young 21 year old to do her thing and find out who she wants etc, and she can't do it while i'm there. So i get back on track again and chug along. I am starting to bring her down from the pedestal too! i wonder if it will last..? I'm also making progress in my confusion about my sexuality too! so things are on the right track at the moment. Spind i have enjoyed following your story, (saddened by the type of story it is) as helping others has really helped me, and reminded me to take my own advice when it's needed. I think if you are able to help someone out and give good advice then when youre low yourself you know what the rational part of you would say and you can follow it! its like an inbuilt tool we have. if we can find our own self strength then in the hardest of times if we just stop for a second our rational mind will come through to the rescue. Jmina
Spinderella Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Bos. Good. Be resigned, like me. Jmina, glad that you are feeling better, and less confused. And glad that my thread has helped you too. Maybe its about time to let this thread go.
Bosiell Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Hmm, thats to abrupt for you Spind, hope ur ok?? Post a new thread soon lemme know how things are.
Spinderella Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Thankyou Bos, I really am okay. I just think the thread has become old. That is, I am doing all the things that I need to do to find inner peace. Theres just not much to say about it, because, I am letting go of the relationship with him.
Spinderella Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 Glad to hear Understood. Take care x Its not that I need to let go of him, but, let go of the things that kept me hooked into the relationship, facing the things I was running from. Its exactly what I needed, because I needed to go through my own things alone, so that I knew I could, without breaking, as I feared.
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