Spinderella Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 For some reason, in the middle of amazing joy and happiness, I just fell, right down, very quickly. My emotions make no sense to me. So really trying to remind myself, that things are the way they are meant to be, and to accept things as they are.
Bosiell Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Spind Be strong hon, I know you can. Do want to expand on what and how you are feeling? You know it always helps. /hugs.
Spinderella Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Thanks Bos, I just replied to your thread too! I just feel abit conflicted, my emotions are not really making any sense, but I suddenly felt very depressed. I am getting back up though! Thats the difference I think, the falling down is similar, but the getting up is faster. Dont you think?
Jmina Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Hey Spind. It's still a bit of a rollar coaster ride as the feelings are still there even though we know its for the better... i agree, its faster to come back up most times that to fall.. i really missed my ex today. cried for most of the day and its been 5 months since we broke up. and i agree with bos, expand on what youre feeling. even if youve said it millions of times, or if it doesnt makes sense, right it out. see if we can help. Jmina
Spinderella Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Thanks Jmina, 5 months is a long time, I'm sorry that you are still feeling so bad. You will get through this, just keep believing you will, and you will. I dont know about expanding because my feelings can change so fast, I am confused. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really messed up. I need to get positive again, just finding it abit hard today.
Jmina Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 It is a long time, and i do have hope that ill get through this i cant say for sure 100% that ill get through it as in forget about her and feel completely fine about the loss... and im sure that i still have irrational days where my heart rules instead of my rational thoughts, but i guess its all part of the healing. my aunt once told me it takes 2 years to heal a broken heart. and that is what im expecting. I am a lot better than what i was. a lot happier. I feel that i fall when i get hormal too, which makes things hard, but its something im prepared to deal with. i mean where you really in love? just head over heels, reach for the stars, over the fence world series kind of stuff? was your soul resting right next to his? was the world just gone when you looked into his eyes? when you were wrapped in his arms did you feel like you were rocking peacefully amongst clouds so gently and so loved. if you were so in love and now your trying to fall out of love, its going to take time, its going to take me time, a lot of time. ride this out. just like every other time. keep doing what your doin. it will get better. it has to. i know i deserve, and im sure by reading your lovely posts that you do also. Jmina x
Spinderella Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Thankyou Jmina , I hope you write for a living. Yes I think for any traumatic experience 2-3 years to fully heal. I think its good that you are going with it naturally and not fighting the experience, and actually I believe that speeds things up, so long as positive thought is practised alongside. The dreaded hormones certainly do knock you down again. Perhaps it is just the feeling of being loved, but, I can get that from within too, usually. I will just ride this one out too.
Jmina Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 That's good to hear Spind. Thanks also, it is one of my goals/dreams to write for a living. I will make it one day. .. my ex wants to write for a living too. cant wait to read some of her stuff. i love writing. its so creative and fulfilling, and it gives us power. our words are indestructable! are you feeling any better at all? jmina
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I don't know your story Spinerella but here's my theory about it. It's a roller coaster ride because we deal with issues in segments. When the split happens, you take the hardest hit, plow through it, then you put it away to address later. When you're ready, you take some of it out and address it some more, etc., etc. This will be ongoing until you've dealt with all the issues and finally let go. Some people never deal with everything or get trapped in one spot, obsessing over it.
Spinderella Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I'm not feeling better yet Jmina, I will give myself a few days, just go with it, and wait to emerge. I am sure that you will make it as a writer one day, and having a talent like that, you can use your pain to fuel some great work - looking on the bright side! Trialbyfire, thankyou, thats very interesting and helpful! I think there are many different things coming up at the moment, stuff going back abit too. Perhaps it is that when we feel strongest and happiest we are ready to deal with things and this is when they resurface, which can be mistaken for falling down again.
Bosiell Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 My friends. Just been reading the posts. Want to post a proper and none rushed reply but its been one of those days and going out soon with friends, just downing a glass of my friend other Mr Beam as we speak As ever my thoughts are with you. And will catch up tomoz. Bos x
carrotgirl Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Sorry Spind, I hate it when that happens! Hope you start feeling better sooner rather than later. Carrot
marty Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 i can totally understand. i was doing quite well , all things considered. then, out of nowhere thought of one tiny thing , and it sent me reeling for a good part of a day. but you are right in saying it gets quicker to get back up. i'm just taking each day as it comes , and i think i will be for the forseeable future. my mind seems to bring things to the fore, as and when it needs. without any contribution from me. some things get dealt with pretty easy,,, then it comes up with another memory, or situation, or scenario, or picture...........and it feels like im back to square one for a while. trying just to have faith that its the way it works and its normal. it really really helps to see that ppl on here are going through similar things. 1 minute ,its a new life starting for me.... and it can turn just like a switch and i'm looking back again. so much fun,,,,,,,, NOT.
SuperHands Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 Sorry to hear that you are on a downer at the moment. Why you suddenly feel this way is your minds way of telling you there is something wrong or something needing dealt with. If you do not know where these emotions are coming from, it's you subconcious (silent) part of the mind bringing it forward. It could be something you've heard or seen thats triggered these subconcious thoughts to come through. All I would say, is to listen to your emotions. Don't try and fight them. Emotions are there to tell us a message. So listen to the message, acknowledge it, take action to resolve it and then focus on the good things in your life past and present. If you are wondering what action you should be taking then that should be to work on yourself, taking time to do something fun or to have a damn good cry. Anything that is appropriate and positive. Oh and don't forget, when you are at the bottom, the only way is up.
Spinderella Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Hello, Thankyou all for great posts and helpful advice. Bos, hope you and Mr Beam had a great weekend! Carrotgirl, thankyou, I am getting there. Its a bit murky in here at the moment, and I can't see clearly, but, I DO know that it is the right thing, to be on my own. This is an exciting challenge, and I do have faith that this happened for the best. I can see now, the life I want, and I even think I know how to get there. These resurfacing emotions, just have to be discarded first. Marty, it sounds as though you have a good head on you to deal with what you are going through. Superhands, thankyou, thats good advice. I am not denying my emotions as it may sound, but, just know that they are just what they are. Normal? Yes. Useful? Not really.
InkSlinger Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 For some reason, in the middle of amazing joy and happiness, I just fell, right down, very quickly. My emotions make no sense to me. So really trying to remind myself, that things are the way they are meant to be, and to accept things as they are. Hi Spinderella I hope it's ok if I respond to your posts as well I have found that in the midst of times of great happiness and joy, I am hit by an overwhelming swing of mood/emotion, I should be so happy but I am filled with melancholy, sadness and at times such a black depression it's hard to get one's self balanced and functioning again. Sometimes, when this happens, I have found that (along with great doses of positive thinking and long hours spent slinging ink), a change in diet helps as well. I do not know if you'd be interested in more information regarding this, but if you are, please feel free to drop me a msg. Mood dumps/shifts/swings can be mind numbing and horrid to deal with, very often those around have no idea of the difficulty and the energy needed to attempt an explanation for them, just cannot be found. I hope your day brightened and you were able to find a smile after reading all of the great supporting posts left here by these wonderful people. Ink
Spinderella Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 InkSlinker, of course you are welcome I am very interested in healthy living, and I do so, mostly. I know that I am not being as good as I can be at the moment, but I also know its one of my next plans. I am really interested, I havent enabled pm's but I may do soon, and message you.
Zapbasket Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Hi Spinderella, I hope you're feeling a little better today. What everyone has said is so true--that you just have to ride your emotions out. I think it's particularly important to find venues for expressing them; when you express your emotions you enable yourself to master them. This could take the form of writing out your emotions on LS, to exercising (when I feel angry I slam tennis balls against a wall for an hour), to painting--whatever works best for you. I understand what you mean about being happy and then suddenly, BAM! the low hits. I have days where I feel so amazed at how far I've come since the breakup and he just feels like a distant memory and I feel nothing. Then I have other days of strength in which I actually feel very close to him, but fully accepting that it's over and grateful for the time I did have with him and all it gave me. And then, suddenly, like riding a bicycle through a vat of molasses...I'm hit with a terrible combination of grief, regret, hurt at being abandoned in such an ugly way, confusion, and this awful fear that his leaving me says something bad about me. It really brings me down. This is my stuck place and I think it's going to take much longer to work through all those feelings. I just trust that as time passes and I carefully examine each one and focus on building up my life personally and career-wise, I'll eventually be freed of the heavy heartache. You can't rush the process. Just accept where you are, and take each day as it comes.
SuperHands Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Glad to help, but you shouldn't consider your bad emotions to be useless. They are not useless. Without them, we'd all be unable to function in life as we would not react appropriately in certain situations. So don't think of them as useless, thank yourself for bringing these things to your attention and then focus on moving forward. By thanking your emotions you are subconciously dealing with them.
Bosiell Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Hiya Spind Really soz for not posting sooner. yesterday was erm an "omg my head hurts" day, thanks to Mr Beam, he has alot to answer for . Had a good nite tho thanks Spind. Today ive got a stinking cold tho, prob from all the girls I was snoggin on Friday! (i wish lol) I gathered from your more recent post that you are feeling better today, glad to hear it. Youve had some great advice here, not much more I can add to it really. Other than what you have told me in the past about riding the emotions, some days the waves will be big and the ride scary but others the weather will be perfect and view ahead clear. Its been exactly a month since my break up. Seems like sooo much longer that I cant believe it. Although I still think of her all the time and at times pretty sad, I know I have come on so much since the 1st week, when quite frankly I found it hard to carry on. I have had to be strong, very strong but I know I am human and know Iam not out of the woods yet. Small moves, small steps /hugs oh btw Jmina, I agree, you are a lovely writer
Spinderella Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Oh nooo. Whats going on? Its worse than ever.
Bosiell Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Just you get your head in gear Spind, now!! Seriously tho, expand, vent it! If its any consolation, I am full of a crappy cold Dont need this right now lol /hugs as ever.
Spinderella Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Ohhhh. Thanks Bos, I'm trying, I'm trying. And sorry for the really crappy reply to all those great posts, I just couldn't even think to answer. You're right, I have to get my head in gear. Sorry you have a cold, surprising the Beam didnt kill it, and sorrier that you didnt get it from snogging loads of girls . Ok, I will go and get my head sorted out now. Greencove, and Superhands, thankyou so much for your helpful replies. I will read them again when I am a bit clearer. (hugs)
SuperHands Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 No problem, glad to help. Bosiell, seems me and you are constantly on the same wavelength. I also am suffering from cold/flu right now, most likely stress related. No snogging girls here either. haha
Spinderella Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 I know I have stuff Ive gotta deal with, and I am afraid. I was hiding in that relationship, that wasnt even right for me. Which I never thought was me. I always thought I was strong. I suppose this is all hitting me now, because, as time goes, it becomes clearer that it really is over.
Recommended Posts