woe_is_me Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 i've come here because i'm in a bad way right at the minute... tonight... over 7 months after he broke 4 years of no contact i finally rang his home phone for the second time...it's been disconnected!! i know this should come as no surprise, but i didn't dream he'd disconnect a landline because of me!!? I know my call would not have been traced but i'm stunned (don't ask me what i had to gain by calling i have no answer sorry.. i guess im just as asymptomatic as of all the other pathetic OW who post around here) .. what kind of threat does he think i'd pose? He was the one who didn't move on and forget.. i did! Till he called me and pretended to care about what was going on in my life....ffs im hurt and almost...crying... he has thrown this year completely out ...i've just changed jobs after six years..ironic that i quit and moved on right around the week of HIS birthday i just feel like crying and crying and crying....why did he cut his phone off when it was him being the cheating azzhole!???? There are two cell phone numbers in the directory under her name since my return call after he phoned me... i mean..what's with that? i could send her a text at any given moment ... i'm assuming coz he's cut the landline off that he's described me as some kind of Glenn Close and it's to protect the kids...? monster that i am?! Sitting here and typing right now is all that is stopping me from getting in my car, driving 90 mintues and leaving the 28 emails he sent me on their doorstep. I'm so cut that i'm seen as such a threat when he is/was the one who turned my world upside down ..because i let him ... I was having a moment of missing him and/or his voice like crazy when i called..and now i'm just stunned... i think that was their landline for years...and it's cut off because of me?? I wouldn't harm a fly! I need to be told off and made to see sense like i try to tell the other sillly OW in here ... i'm just going to stay put for now... i wouldn't wish these feelings on my worst enemy ...
lost4ever Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I'm sure he didn't diconnect the phone because of you, his dumb a** probably got in trouble with someone else! He is a looser, we are all going to miss them once in a while ( I had to throw my phone out the window to stop from calling mine), you should be thanking him for turning off his phone, that way he can not fill your head with his lies!
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I understand that you are hurting, but your reaction in all of this is a perfect example of why he disconnected his line. I'm not saying that you are wrong in any way, nor am I saying that your reaction isn't justified - but from a MM perspective, that type of emotional turmoil just isn't worth it sometimes, and they will cut you out in a heartbeat to save their own ass if they see you as a threat in some way to the status quo (even when they are the ones contacting you).
Author woe_is_me Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 I understand that you are hurting, but your reaction in all of this is a perfect example of why he disconnected his line. I'm not saying that you are wrong in any way, nor am I saying that your reaction isn't justified - but from a MM perspective, that type of emotional turmoil just isn't worth it sometimes, and they will cut you out in a heartbeat to save their own ass if they see you as a threat in some way to the status quo (even when they are the ones contacting you). I'm so hearing you Lucrezia... i guess the player always was one step ahead of me (except when it came to knowing his landline was publicly listed) and knew it was a matter of when...and not if... Not sure how he feels about two cell phone numbers under his W's name being listed... a little hot under the collar is my guess...and if his marriage matters THAT much then i hope he's sweating like the pig that he is...that's mean though i actually like pigs...i don't really know that there's a word to describe him ...
Author woe_is_me Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 I'm sure he didn't diconnect the phone because of you, his dumb a** probably got in trouble with someone else! He is a looser, we are all going to miss them once in a while ( I had to throw my phone out the window to stop from calling mine), you should be thanking him for turning off his phone, that way he can not fill your head with his lies! he has about four other ways i can think of to get in touch with me.. i never wanted something i couldn't have so bad.... not being able to call, touch, see or hear someone you adored beyond belief is really unexplainable ... i used to look back and be thankful i knew such passion .. i miss him sorely but if he felt the same then i really wouldn't be here would i
OWoman Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 but i didn't dream he'd disconnect a landline because of me!!? Maybe he just didn't pay his phone bill?
GreenEyedLady Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I think that you're personalizing him changing his phone number way too much... People change their numbers for many reasons...Maybe he was getting a lot of solicitors or maybe even bill collectors... You haven't given us any information as to why you believe he turned it off because of you... Just relax and keep moving on...You've come a long way to let this set you back...
kymberann Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 THat's to be expected and typical. My xmm disconnected his, but only after his w kept calling me when the whole A was in the open.
Author woe_is_me Posted October 8, 2007 Author Posted October 8, 2007 I think that you're personalizing him changing his phone number way too much... People change their numbers for many reasons...Maybe he was getting a lot of solicitors or maybe even bill collectors... You haven't given us any information as to why you believe he turned it off because of you... Just relax and keep moving on...You've come a long way to let this set you back... Thanks GEL.... and OW but i know it's because of the A. My earlier posts probably described the situation as best they could.. money wasn't an issue in his world. That man was was shrewd and clever with money and finance an 'unpaid bill and/or debt collectors' is laughable. He had TOO much money! And too much spare time obviously... If i knew one thing about him it was that he was a damn good provider. I used to think his W was lucky.. then i'd think ' but is she really'?
OWoman Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Thanks GEL.... and OW but i know it's because of the A. Then, I think, it provides a little window into what happening inside his mind. Sounds like he's feeling pretty threatened right now, and he's externalising it and projecting it onto the A. He's feeling vulnerable, and trying to shore himself up against that. It's not that YOU'RE the threat, WIM, it's that he's vulnerable and threatened, and is trying to pretend it's outside and not inside himself. Or she (BW) is.
Author woe_is_me Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 Then, I think, it provides a little window into what happening inside his mind. Sounds like he's feeling pretty threatened right now, and he's externalising it and projecting it onto the A. He's feeling vulnerable, and trying to shore himself up against that. It's not that YOU'RE the threat, WIM, it's that he's vulnerable and threatened, and is trying to pretend it's outside and not inside himself. Or she (BW) is. Not that their 'marriage' was or is any of my business. I just couldn't get my head around why it all mattered so much when she found out ..why didn't it matter to him before that? His W has done exactly as i would've if i was in her situation which makes me wonder how similar we possibly are She's allowed me the option of calling not one but two numbers listed in her name, yet i haven't ..i probably would've if i didn't think him or any of his family or friends that knew of me (and a few who actually met me) wouldn't come to destroy my life in return.. She doesn't want HIS affair to affect her children.. she doesn't after all have any idea who i am... just that i exist.. I know he could give her my number and if he has she hasn't called me.. And i haven't called her...then everyone is protecting everyone really arent they...me? - my family ... her? - her family (how she lives with a lying cheat on a daily basis is beyond me though .. surely it comes down to the house and the money) and him? his stupid sorry azz ... I'm working past getting beyond this again.. and ive got no idea why it's so hard after i'd already got past him once.... I just know that if he called me ....4 years after it was over... then it was me who won ..whatever it was there was to win.. i cannot help that the chips have fallen where they may..so to speak...since then I don't want him to come back again, like some posters ask if they will ..for the THIRD time ..but i'm scared that he will
PoshPrincess Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 I used to think his W was lucky.. then i'd think ' but is she really'? You saying this reminded me of a quote someone emailed me the other day "When a woman steals your husband there is no better revenge than to let her keep him". So, in this instance, maybe it's YOU who is the lucky one. Don't beat yourself up wondering about the number; if you are the reason he's changed it, it's only because he wants to save his a**e. Maybe his W knows something and has had the number changed. Not sure about her cell numbers being listed all of a sudden though - that's kind of weird! Just hold your head high and move on. He isn't worth worrying about!
Impudent Oyster Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 It's not that bad, he only disconnected his phone. Some MM move without a forwarding address to get away from the OW!
lost4ever Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 At least your MM cared enough to get the phone disconnected, when I told my MM that my H was going to call is W, he said who cares, then forwarded an email to me and his wife ( I guess to make sure we had eachothers email addresses)! Later I asked why he didn't care, he said , what happens, happens...nice....I wonder if he cares now? makes me want to call and see if he "cared" enough to get the number changed now..I hope he is at home agonizing over the thought of me telling (but I won't call because I know he doesn't care and well, I'm pretty close to not caring myself
Art_Critic Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 I canceled my landline a few years ago and only have a cell number. I have cable inet access and have no need for that technology in my home. I'm not hiding my number from anyone.. I just don't use a landline anymore.. Maybe that is what happened ?.. you said that the 2 cells numbers are in the directory so he isn't trying to hide.. He just no longer has a landline at home.. no biggie...
TogetherForever Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 It's not that bad, he only disconnected his phone. Some MM move without a forwarding address to get away from the OW! Maybe her mm did move & that's why the number is disconnected?? Or in the process of moving. TF
Author woe_is_me Posted October 17, 2007 Author Posted October 17, 2007 I canceled my landline a few years ago and only have a cell number. I have cable inet access and have no need for that technology in my home. I'm not hiding my number from anyone.. I just don't use a landline anymore.. Maybe that is what happened ?.. you said that the 2 cells numbers are in the directory so he isn't trying to hide.. He just no longer has a landline at home.. no biggie... sorry for delayed reply (been really busy) .. Thanks anyway Art, but that's not what happened.. the two cell numbers are in HER name ..they've replaced the landline that was in HIS name.... she wants info that he isn't giving her... and she obviously sees the 'land' that line belonged to as well and truly hers (as would i, if i had to put up with a lying prat of a husband like that).
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