solo_flyer Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Let's say that you are at the grocery store or in line somewhere and a man approaches you and starts to chat with you and it is clear that he has a romantic and sexual interest. The guy is polite and not vulgar. Does this make you think something like, "Why the **** can't a woman even do groceries anymore without being hit on by some pervert?!" Or is that more like a welcome compliment?
norajane Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Let's say that you are at the grocery store or in line somewhere and a man approaches you and starts to chat with you and it is clear that he has a romantic and sexual interest. The guy is polite and not vulgar. Does this make you think something like, "Why the **** can't a woman even do groceries anymore without being hit on by some pervert?!" Or is that more like a welcome compliment? If he's polite and friendly, and he's not talking to my breasts, then it would probably feel like a compliment.
KenzieAbsolutely Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Let's say that you are at the grocery store or in line somewhere and a man approaches you and starts to chat with you and it is clear that he has a romantic and sexual interest. The guy is polite and not vulgar. Does this make you think something like, "Why the **** can't a woman even do groceries anymore without being hit on by some pervert?!" Or is that more like a welcome compliment? it depends on how obvious the "sexual interest" is. if you're leering at her with your penis in your hand, then no. actually, i'd be wary of any guy showing an immediate sexual interest in me the first time he's approaching me, to be honest. maybe leave that part out. showing basic interest in her will show her all that she needs to know without you coming off looking like a total creep. if it's a normal "i'd like to get to know you" kind of conversation, it should be okay. if it's not though, don't take it personally. "don't talk to strangers" isn't just for kids anymore, so adults, women especially, tend to be more careful than ever.
Ariadne Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Hi, Does this make you think something like, "Why the **** can't a woman even do groceries anymore without being hit on by some pervert?!" Or is that more like a welcome compliment? To me it would be a welcome compliment of course. Ariadne
Lyssa Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Let's say that you are at the grocery store or in line somewhere and a man approaches you and starts to chat with you and it is clear that he has a romantic and sexual interest. The guy is polite and not vulgar. Does this make you think something like, "Why the **** can't a woman even do groceries anymore without being hit on by some pervert?!" Or is that more like a welcome compliment? I can deal with the romantic interest and would take that as a compliment but sexual interest? I'd turn away and walk off.... mumbling.. "you freaking big perv!!!"
ratzskinakie Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 talking to the breasts is much less intimidating for me than talking while looking at her face, I wish it was the other way around
Zona76 Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Yes it would be a compliment. Yet my first reaction would be, "Go try someone else when you're serious!" I would never think of being approached this way. Depends on the conversation I guess. If the guy asks how to prepare a meal. Confess he lives alone and is tired of take out. He can explain he's just moved to the town and wondering where to go for fresh veggies. "Is there a fresh market around anywhere?" "Where's a good place to find tasty baked goods?" Women are born mothers. They want to help. They're willing to help. I wouldn't take a "pick-up" serious in a grocery store. The idea is to find a conversation starter. When shopping I'm generally in a hurry. But I'd stop and offer help if someone asks.
Lizzie60 Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Let's say that you are at the grocery store or in line somewhere and a man approaches you and starts to chat with you and it is clear that he has a romantic and sexual interest. The guy is polite and not vulgar. Does this make you think something like, "Why the **** can't a woman even do groceries anymore without being hit on by some pervert?!" Or is that more like a welcome compliment? I don't get it... Why would a woman be upset if a guy starts to chat and is polite????
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Sexual interest in a grocery or book store lineup would be way too much for me. Creepy. If someone wants to chat in a lineup, and is polite about it, that's okay. Maybe I'm misunderstanding the question but there's a line between a glint in the eye/polite conversation and full-on brash eye contact with a fire burning down below...
monkey00 Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Sexual interest in a grocery or book store lineup would be way too much for me. Creepy. If someone wants to chat in a lineup, and is polite about it, that's okay. Maybe I'm misunderstanding the question but there's a line between a glint in the eye/polite conversation and full-on brash eye contact with a fire burning down below... It's only creepy if you want nothing to do with the person. What of this scenario? you're single and at a cafe or grocery store and make EC with a guy, he smiles , you smile - now you wouldn't be freaked out by an approach would you?
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 It's only creepy if you want nothing to do with the person. What of this scenario? you're single and at a cafe or grocery store and make EC with a guy, he smiles , you smile - now you wouldn't be freaked out by an approach would you? I don't even mind being smiled at and returning a smile with someone of no interest. It's difficult to explain the difference between creepy interest and polite interest. The only way to differentiate is when your skin crawls.
allina Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 To me it's usually annoying but if he's polite I will always be polite back.
KenzieAbsolutely Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 "Where's a good place to find tasty baked goods?" if a guy said this to me i would laugh and think he was totally gay. or ned flanders. overall, talking to someone in a store for the first time is fine. conveying sexual interest in that conversation is not.
Author solo_flyer Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 I don't get it... Why would a woman be upset if a guy starts to chat and is polite???? I always get the feeling that doing thing like that makes a guy look like a pervert even if he is polite about it, so I do have difficulty meeting people because of that.
redfathom Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I am married so immediatly I have no interest in talking to the guy if he is interested in me, if he is being polite then sure it's not a problem. I tend to find most guys creepy, maybe it the way TV has portrayed guys to be interested in one thing. I lost it one time this guy hit on me when I was walking down the street (all i wanted to do was get to point b from point a), he said, "wow you're a fine girl" and proceeded to talk to me, I looked at the guy, gave him the finger, and said "fyou" and kept on walking. I think it's best to talk to girls you are interested in in a social setting, but I do suggest to my BIL to look for chicks at the grocery store since you tend to find different people at different places say, a grocery store vs a bar.
Zona76 Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 I lost it one time this guy hit on me when I was walking down the street (all i wanted to do was get to point b from point a), he said, "wow you're a fine girl" and proceeded to talk to me, I looked at the guy, gave him the finger, and said "fyou" and kept on walking. You seem to have a problem with compliments. Try responding with, "Thanks, my husband thinks so too."
big_girls_rock Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 I take it as a compliment. There was a time when I didn't get those at all, now I accept them.
popey Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 If he doesn't invade my personal space, and doesn't come off as super-sauve- you know you want me... etc. A polite approach is flattering, or at the very least not offensive.
Zapbasket Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 When not overtly sexual, always flattering and sometimes totally boosts my mood. But the rules are completely different on the rare occasion it's someone I actually find attractive and from whom I just get a good overall 'vibe.' In that case, I exit "polite" mode ("Thanks!" and a smile and turn away and I'm definitely NOT game for further conversation) and go into conversational mode ("Thank you," said calmly with a smile and averting my eyes while not actually turning away, waiting for a cue from him). I guess for guys it sucks because you have no way of knowing how the woman will perceive you...
Trialbyfire Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 When not overtly sexual, always flattering and sometimes totally boosts my mood. But the rules are completely different on the rare occasion it's someone I actually find attractive and from whom I just get a good overall 'vibe.' In that case, I exit "polite" mode ("Thanks!" and a smile and turn away and I'm definitely NOT game for further conversation) and go into conversational mode ("Thank you," said calmly with a smile and averting my eyes while not actually turning away, waiting for a cue from him). I guess for guys it sucks because you have no way of knowing how the woman will perceive you... If you're interested, why not maintain polite eye contact. The fastest way to figure out most people, is watching their eyes, then body language.
halfarock Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 If you're interested, why not maintain polite eye contact. The fastest way to figure out most people, is watching their eyes, then body language. I very much agree with this. With most people you can get a sense of how they view you by looking at the way that they look back at you. As far as approaching women, I only approach those with whom I’ve made eye contact, and through her eyes gives me the go ahead.
Timberlane Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 I don't even mind being smiled at and returning a smile with someone of no interest. It's difficult to explain the difference between creepy interest and polite interest. The only way to differentiate is when your skin crawls. Creepy sexual interest is like the way swinger men will approach a woman with a way too polite tone of voice, all hushed so they can stand close. Gah.
Briggs55 Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 I agree, there are right & wrong ways of showing interest towards a woman, but I think it is wrong to give someone the finger & tell them to fu<k off, especially if they do not know you are committed to someone else (Wedding/Engagement rings being the exception here). But yep, i'm sure all you women haaaate when men give you attention . Sucks to be desired.
birdie Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 what sucks is the expectation that just because they want a conversation and show me that I am 'desired' I should feel flattered. When I walk around the street or go down to the local supermarket I am not there to make an effort to be nice and social with people, just want my shopping done. That's what always bugs me about men that approach a woman in a non-social situation, they get upset when the woman doesn't want to talk. Surely that's MY perogative?? Hate being hassled and the men that do it would usually do it pretty much to anyone so it's not a compliment
redfathom Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 what sucks is the expectation that just because they want a conversation and show me that I am 'desired' I should feel flattered. When I walk around the street or go down to the local supermarket I am not there to make an effort to be nice and social with people, just want my shopping done. That's what always bugs me about men that approach a woman in a non-social situation, they get upset when the woman doesn't want to talk. Surely that's MY perogative?? Hate being hassled and the men that do it would usually do it pretty much to anyone so it's not a compliment Agreed! Look, I wanted to walk down the street to go to the store. It's not like this is the first time it has happened, how many girls walking down the street get honked at, cat called, etc (raise hand). Sometimes you want to be left alone, so this guy was the straw that broke the camels back. Besides, who startes a conversation with a girl, "you're fine looking" anyways. If he has said hello or nice evening my response would have been different. My neice was 12 and was dressed up for a wedding and men were honking at her...I mean get real, she looked older, but the point is they didn't know how old she was and growing up being 14 walking down the steet I would get honked at, I am sorry but at 14 I don't want to be honked at by 30 year old men driving by.
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