unfreakinbelievable Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 This is basically what happened. I had a bad case of this girl at work for a year. She is older and didn't know I was into her but I was. I finally worked up the courage and asked her out last spring. The only way to say this is that she was everything I ever wanted. For the first time in my life I thought settling down with her and having a rugrat or two could be for me. Skip ahead six months to August. I didn't want to be with her any more. I thought she would be devastated after I said I was finished with her but she seems alright. It's been a month and I'm not sorry I ended it. It was something I needed to do because being with her was killing me but there are times I miss her so much I feel soulless.
Ocean-Blue Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 At first glance, I'd think you were merely infatuated with this girl. But since you mention that you sometimes feel "soul-less"... Hmm... Is it perhaps because she's taking it better than you expected her to? Perhaps you were interested in her b/c of the thrill of the chase? And once you got the object of lust...well you got bored. And now that it seems like she's not as upset as you thought she'd be...perhaps it's got your juices flowing again?
Author unfreakinbelievable Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 I could spend a lifetime with this girl and never be bored.
Author unfreakinbelievable Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 Does it makes a difference? No I'm sure she isn't seeing someone and she would tell me if she was.
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Many times, guys get the dog in the manger thing going. If you honestly still care about her, why not touch base with her and see if she's still interested. You never know unless you try.
norajane Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I didn't want to be with her any more. I'm not sorry I ended it It was something I needed to do because being with her was killing me Sounds like you did the right thing. Why are you questioning it now?
Author unfreakinbelievable Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 Whush! Went straight over my head with that reference. No it would be leading her on and that was why I had to end it. I don't feel the same way for her that she feels for me.
Author unfreakinbelievable Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 Sounds like you did the right thing. Why are you questioning it now? I miss her. She an amazing girl and more than anything I still want to be friends.
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 If you parted amicably, then there's no reason why you can't approach her for friendship. It's all in the way the two of you handled your relationship and the parting.
norajane Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I miss her. She an amazing girl and more than anything I still want to be friends. It was killing you being with her and now you want to be friends? She may not want to be friends. Lots of people don't play that way with exes. Once it's over, it's over. Keep in mind it's not all about you and what you want - she gets to make her own decisions about what she wants. What does she want? Does she want to be friends? Is she even speaking to you at all? Did she ask you to go away and leave her alone after the break up? Are you sure you know what you really want anyway? Because you went from wanting to make rugrats to it's killing you to be with her to wanting to be friends in a very short span of time. You can't treat her like a yo-yo based on what you want or don't want right this minute.
Ocean-Blue Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Your posts are quite vague. Depending on your reasons for the break-up, perhaps it's just best for you to move on? If being with her was "killing you", then you may be better off without her. A break-up is hard (as I'm sure you know). Sometimes you just need some time away from the person in question to gather your thoughts. How is she feeling about everything? Does she share your sentiments about the relationship?
KenzieAbsolutely Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 well, yeah, a little bit. you don't seem to know what you want AT ALL. what do you want, her in your life or not in your life? there's a big difference between the two.
Author unfreakinbelievable Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 All the ladies will hate on me for saying it but it would be idiotic to get together alone with her at this point. I'm pretty sure she would try to initiate something and there are times my fingers itch to touch her as it is. She's got it going on, the face, the body and she's a smokin' demon in bed. If we had sex she would think meant something and I'd have to tell her I don't want to be with her over again.
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Holy Dinah!!! Methinks you got a surprise coming to you if you try.
KenzieAbsolutely Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 if she's so wonderful in every way, what was it that made you not want to be with after 6 months? this story is so full of holes.
Author unfreakinbelievable Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 Did I wander onto a school of jilted pirhanna? Yes it was killing me to know she was in love with me and I didn't feel the same way alright? Yes I could not look into her face and see the joy and trust and excitement there when I knew it was only a matter of time before I ended it. Yes I want her as a friend. You only meet so many intelligent, fun, exciting and good people in your life. I don't want to lose her if I don't have to. Yes as incredible as it may sound I did what I thought was right and it still hurts me to think about it. I was weeping it was hurting me so much to end it with her but she didn't cry. She just ----> took it. She listened and do you know what she did? She told me I shouldn't be so hard on myself and that she loved me and that she thought I was a good person. A couple days later she asked for the clothes she had left and that was the last time she said anything about us not being a couple any more.
KenzieAbsolutely Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 okay, well sorry, but what is the problem? you want to be friends and she won't be or what? it just seems like a lot of whining and complaining about nothing. it doesn't take a jilted pirhana to see that. no one one knows how to advise you because you don't seem to be seeking advice. so i guess i'll just say "gee, that's too bad, better luck next time." is that better?
Author unfreakinbelievable Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 Is it always, all about you? Apparently.
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Apparently. That's sad. If so, leave her alone. She deserves better.
Author unfreakinbelievable Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 We finally agree on something. She deserves better than me. I care about her very deeply but it's not nearly what she deserves. ShE deserves someone who wants to marry her and that's not me. If it was all about me I'd **** her senseless and use her without giving it a second thought.
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Then the decision makes itself, now doesn't it? If you care about her, leave her alone.
KenzieAbsolutely Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 We finally agree on something. She deserves better than me. I care about her very deeply but it's not nearly what she deserves. ShE deserves someone who wants to marry her and that's not me. If it was all about me I'd **** her senseless and use her without giving it a second thought. that was so beautiful.
Author unfreakinbelievable Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 You people are ****ing useless.
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