lost4ever Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 So, My drive him was crazy, I wanted to call MM so bad (and I don't know why..I really thought I was done) anyway I kept telling myself NO I will not call, but the more I tried talking myself out of it, the more I wanted to call....I THREW MY PHONE OUT THE WINDOW!!! Liberating, yes...Dumb - yes (It's my work phone) boy I hope my outlook is up to date or I am in trouble, but I didn't call.....I don't know why I felt this was a good idea, the only number in my phone I know by heart is his, so it kind of defeats the purpose...but, I didn't call
Marielle Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 You are really strong...and No it was not dumb what you did. How many times I wished to be "dumb" and have enough rage to be able to do that. As far as not calling him, you accomplished a big step. MM are like a drug addiction, you are in the withdrawal stage. You desserve better than him.
Lyssa Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 Good for you for not calling your MM, Lost! Keep it up...
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 Lol - well done you! There's definitely other phones in the world for you...and other men x
fidela666 Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Congrats girl!!! I must tell you that we are going through the same thing. I keep reminding my self of NC at all, every day. I am sure you feel empowered by the fact that you are fighting back that urge of wanting to be with him again. KEEP IT UP!!!
Author lost4ever Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 Yeah, I'm thinking of throwing my ipod out the window next, every damn song on that thing reminds me of him
lovernotafighter Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Yeah, I'm thinking of throwing my ipod out the window next, every damn song on that thing reminds me of him AHH don't do that! do what I did I filled it up with really weird **** till i was ready to listen to what I enjoy! you'll be really pissed if you throw it away! yikes!!!
KATANYA Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 lol......can't wait to hear what you do with the home phone!
Author lost4ever Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 I'm going to shove it up his A**!
Cobra_X30 Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I'm going to shove it up his A**! ? It's very interesting, how you have a love/hate connection with the men in your life. If you dont mind my asking what were your parents like?
Author lost4ever Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 oh stop, it's not a love hate relationship...it's a love, I'm going to keep telling myself I hate him until I believe it... about the parents, I don't want to tell the whole world my whole life, but yes, your theroy is right
whichwayisup Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 L4E, you're going to be fine. Take things slowly and deal with the rough days when they hit...Spend time with your friends and get out to do fun stuff. Just touching on the parent issues - If you think that things are happening in your life because of something from your childhood, or the way you interacted with your parents, get some therapy...Understand what it is/was and face it head on so you can work through it and live a happier life without emotional baggage.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 oh stop, it's not a love hate relationship...it's a love, I'm going to keep telling myself I hate him until I believe it... about the parents, I don't want to tell the whole world my whole life, but yes, your theroy is right Lost, No I think you realize exactly what a worthless piece this guy is! I think thats why you picked him! LOL... you think I have a theory? Ok, so I might have a theory. You may not be as complicated as you think! I'd bet money that you often feel the need for more control over the things in your life!
Author lost4ever Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 No wrong, But I will tell you I have the classic, I don't deserve to be happy, thing, Hence, why I picked "him"...my therapist is leaning towards this, But I had it figured out a long time ago.. (I think I will give him a gold star on my next visit)
Cobra_X30 Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 No wrong, But I will tell you I have the classic, I don't deserve to be happy, thing, Hence, why I picked "him"...my therapist is leaning towards this, But I had it figured out a long time ago.. (I think I will give him a gold star on my next visit) I dont think there should be a next visit! I think you should probably get a female therapist who isnt creepy as all get out! Well, the whole dont deserve to be happy is a symptom... you need to figure out the cause! Ever get a sense of ineffectiveness?
PoshPrincess Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Lost, I feel for you, but you're doing good! I also know exmm's number off by heart (despite the fact that he had at least 4 different numbers while we were together!) I can't begin to count the amount of times I have deleted it from my phone (and thrown the thing across the room!) so I know how hard it is to resist. Sounds like you're doing a whole lot better than I did. And, yes, you want to hate them but you can't no matter how hard you try. I am in NC but still think about him often and, yes, still love him stupidly, despite the fact that he probably doesn't even give me a second thought now! This is why you have to keep up the good work! You're better than that!
Author lost4ever Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 Lost, I feel for you, but you're doing good! I also know exmm's number off by heart (despite the fact that he had at least 4 different numbers while we were together!) I can't begin to count the amount of times I have deleted it from my phone (and thrown the thing across the room!) so I know how hard it is to resist. Sounds like you're doing a whole lot better than I did. And, yes, you want to hate them but you can't no matter how hard you try. I am in NC but still think about him often and, yes, still love him stupidly, despite the fact that he probably doesn't even give me a second thought now! This is why you have to keep up the good work! You're better than that! Yes, it is stupid to give someone this much thought, when they don't give a crap about us...I wouldn't be surprised if my MM already has another OW, he did go away on a "guys" weekend last weekend, and I'm sure if he didn't meet a little hottie thats all about the money he flashes. well then he went to plan B and paid for it
Author lost4ever Posted October 9, 2007 Author Posted October 9, 2007 btw Cobra, I just wrote the longest post ever, pouring my heart and history into a loooooog post and it was lost, I guess this is a sign that nobody should know that much about a me maybe some other time, write now I have writers cramp!
Meaplus3 Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 Lost, So proud of you that you did NOT call:). NOT calling is half the battle. If my therapist was good for one thing it was getting me to stop needing to call, a big accomplishment along my long drawn out road to recovery, LOL:lmao: The more you can keep up NC the more clear thing's will become for you. Good Luck and stay strong! AP:)
Cobra_X30 Posted October 10, 2007 Posted October 10, 2007 btw Cobra, I just wrote the longest post ever, pouring my heart and history into a loooooog post and it was lost, I guess this is a sign that nobody should know that much about a me maybe some other time, write now I have writers cramp! LOL... true some things were not meant to be! Watch the carpel tunnel!
Author lost4ever Posted October 10, 2007 Author Posted October 10, 2007 Lost, So proud of you that you did NOT call:). NOT calling is half the battle. If my therapist was good for one thing it was getting me to stop needing to call, a big accomplishment along my long drawn out road to recovery, LOL:lmao: The more you can keep up NC the more clear thing's will become for you. Good Luck and stay strong! AP:) thank you, all of you are so helpful! and though the road was long, you lady have been doing woderful!
Darth Vader Posted October 11, 2007 Posted October 11, 2007 btw Cobra, I just wrote the longest post ever, pouring my heart and history into a loooooog post and it was lost, I guess this is a sign that nobody should know that much about a me maybe some other time, write now I have writers cramp! If that post was to me, I got it, and already responded.
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