Jinnah Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 I'm not a religious person, i don't believe in god, i am a modern woman with lots a friends and a great job, and I STILL think porn is wrong. I love my skin, my hair, i get asked out all of the time, i have a great self esteem. Here is the question, where is the self esteem of the women that accept these morons as boyfriends and husbands? Did you just give up all hope when you accepted him into your life? I think these women that accept such disrespect from men are the result of a fatherless generation. Their fathers weren't real men, and therefore they don't know any better. Think of it as low class, thats what these men are, and you should want better for yourself! Look at the girls in these videos! Who the hell would date these things?! Where is America's class? I feel like it died with my great grandparents. I've never been in a relationship without lots of love and good sex, and to have good sex you have to respect each-other and respect sex between two people. It's not wrong to find other people attractive, it's wrong if you find other people attractive and you lie about it. It's wrong to watch porn, sleep in bed with your woman later that night, and lie about it. It's fake, he's fake, the relationship is fake. Lies don't equal respect, and you literally cannot love someone without respect. So really, if a man Requires porn, tell me up front, so i can leave you. These men are fools at hiding it, yet they think they are so slick because they lied and threw you off up front. I don't want the father of my kids getting horny for naked teenage girls. Someday I may have a daughter with this man, she will have friends that are teenagers, you can do the math. Am i really the only woman that feels this way?? No, I'm just one of the few that says it. I don't want a pervert, I want a man. Men don't rely on pornography after college, it's pathetic. It's like, old school, women don't like these men! Women hate these loosers! I think it's this country, I used to have a boyfriend from spain and he was totally different than american men. Ugh, at this point I don't even miss my boyfriend, I just wish I could find someone with more than a boner and two brain cells. I'm applauding you Gerrygirl! Well said. I feel the same way, but I also have religious reasons for being against is as well. It's adultery IMO.
Msblueyes Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 You go Girl! I don't think "Porn" itself is the problem, but it sure leads into morals and value issues and how we view our world as in "SEX SELLS"...just turn on the tv. Men like their fantasy world. Unfortunately, that's not just Playboy or Penthouse which is pretty much untouchable, it's moved on to pay per view and the whole internet access. In fact, you have never heard so much infidelity drama since the inception of cell phones and computers. It used to be they just "had to work overtime". HA! I really think its a matter of letting go of people that aren't right. Easier said than done but no human needs to be emotionally abused by lies and deceit. That's why people stay, we have become programed to believe that it's ok when it's not. I am so wrestling with this now. I can only look back a few months when my STBX couldn't keep his eyes off the girl in the laundromat with me right next to him...I caught it right away & told him that he should get a ride home with her....I know people like to look at other people but you can "tell when the looking is not quite right". I should send mine off with a disposable camera because a picture lasts longer, right? LOL.
Jinnah Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 ...That's why people stay, we have become programed to believe that it's ok when it's not... That's exactly what I keep telling people... glad someone else see's it too.
joekurtz Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Hey, while everyone has an absolute right to their own beliefs, their own moral values & to express their opinions regarding them in an open forum like this, I don't agree with the moralizing & condemnation that I see aimed at those with a differing view. Not every man ( or woman for that matter ) who happens to browse the occasional porn site is a worthless pervert who harbors some sort of "sick fantasies" & has no regard for monogamy or fidelity. That's just a harsh, untrue statement IMO. Now, like anything else that lies beneath the umbrella of things labelled "vices", there's a rather fine line between what some would call the occasional or moderate enjoyment of said things & the abuse of them. Where that line begins & ends though is up to each individual. For many, pornography can be like alcohol is to an alcoholic, it consumes them & their lives rather the the other way around. There's no denying it. But, just as the vast majority of society is capable of enjoying just a couple of drinks & stopping at a reasonable point, I think the vast majority of people are quite capable of viewing a few images online or watching one video without becoming obsessed with it & spending hours upon hours a day searching for more.
Jinnah Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 ...Not every man ( or woman for that matter ) who happens to browse the occasional porn site is a worthless pervert who harbors some sort of "sick fantasies" & has no regard for monogamy or fidelity. That's just a harsh, untrue statement IMO.... Watching other men/women and getting turned on by it sexually would actually be considered adultery/infidelity.
joekurtz Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Watching other men/women and getting turned on by it sexually would actually be considered adultery/infidelity. Uhhh ... Maybe in YOUR view & in YOUR relationships, but not in the rest of the world. Like I said, you have a perfect right to cling to whatever belief system you choose to as long as it's not harmful to others IMO, but wow, your views appear to be more in line with those of the taliban than they do any contemporary ideology that I can think of.
Jinnah Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Uhhh ... Maybe in YOUR view & in YOUR relationships, but not in the rest of the world. Like I said, you have a perfect right to cling to whatever belief system you choose to as long as it's not harmful to others IMO, but wow, your views appear to be more in line with those of the taliban than they do any contemporary ideology that I can think of. :rolleyes:Actually, look it up in the dictionary or check out the thread "To the BS... don't blame the OW". Taliban? Racist/stereotypical anyone? I'm Christian, actually.
popey Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 what if the viewer likes to occasionally watch porn, not b/c they are trying to get turned on necessarily by a naked individual in a movie, which they want to fantasize having sex with themselves, but rather is turned on by watching a sex act? If someone does that on occasion, w/o hiding it from their SO, and their SO is cool with that and/or likes to join. Would the porn opposers still think there is something wrong here?
Jinnah Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 what if the viewer likes to occasionally watch porn, not b/c they are trying to get turned on necessarily by a naked individual in a movie, which they want to fantasize having sex with themselves, but rather is turned on by watching a sex act? If someone does that on occasion, w/o hiding it from their SO, and their SO is cool with that and/or likes to join. Would the porn opposers still think there is something wrong here? Why don't they just video tape themselves having sex with their spouse then and watch that? Same thing, right? Other Christians, is that inappropriate? Seriously.
gman0hsev Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 :rolleyes:Actually, look it up in the dictionary or check out the thread "To the BS... don't blame the OW". Adultery:1) voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse Im not seeing it but where you see it but here is another def. ... 2)extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations. so unless masturbations is adultery im not understanding...... Infidelity:1) a lack of religion 2)unfaithfullness 3) a breach of trust 4) marital disloyalty. The infidelity I can see(the breach of trust) but adultery...... unless the porn star is pulling a Samara im not following you even when i get it defined.....
Jinnah Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Adultery:1) voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse Im not seeing it but where you see it but here is another def. ... 2)extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations. so unless masturbations is adultery im not understanding...... Infidelity:1) a lack of religion 2)unfaithfullness 3) a breach of trust 4) marital disloyalty. The infidelity I can see(the breach of trust) but adultery...... unless the porn star is pulling a Samara im not following you even when i get it defined..... Even the dictionary says that it does not say it has to be physical... I'm so sorry, the encyclopedia... my bad.
joekurtz Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 :rolleyes:Actually, look it up in the dictionary or check out the thread "To the BS... don't blame the OW". Taliban? Racist/stereotypical anyone? I'm Christian, actually. I realize that you're a Christian. And I honestly fail to see how my comparing what I consider to be some very extreme views regarding what constitutes adulterous behavior to the taliban's extreme moralist views is either bigoted or stereotypical. Especially as I have no clue as to what ethnic background you may or may not be. But, if my anology was insulting to you, I sincerely apologize. That wasn't my intent. Peace? But, I have to ask what you think of the following senario. OK? What do you think of a woman who sits down to watch an episode of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES & during the course of she she becomes aroused by a sex scene on the show that she finds particularly "hot". Then, later on that evening she recalls that scene during sex with her husband & it fuels a fantasy that brings about an orgasm. was she, by your definition, "cheating"?
Jinnah Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I realize that you're a Christian. And I honestly fail to see how my comparing what I consider to be some very extreme views regarding what constitutes adulterous behavior to the taliban's extreme moralist views is either bigoted or stereotypical. Especially as I have no clue as to what ethnic background you may or may not be. But, if my anology was insulting to you, I sincerely apologize. That wasn't my intent. Peace? But, I have to ask what you think of the following senario. OK? What do you think of a woman who sits down to watch an episode of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES & during the course of she she becomes aroused by a sex scene on the show that she finds particularly "hot". Then, later on that evening she recalls that scene during sex with her husband & it fuels a fantasy that brings about an orgasm. was she, by your definition, "cheating"? No hard feelings (and no I'm not of that race anyway). I was just being difficult. Sorry. I'd say if I were in the situation, I would choose to turn the show off if it was Biblically inappropriate or if I would not want my husband watching it.
gman0hsev Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Even the dictionary says that it does not say it has to be physical... I'm so sorry, the encyclopedia... my bad. yeah infidelity wise, cause if I read correctly he promised to stop and he didn't , which would be the breach of trust. Adultery-wise though....... no. So i guess what I'm saying is that i half agree with you.
Jinnah Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 yeah infidelity wise, cause if I read correctly he promised to stop and he didn't , which would be the breach of trust. Adultery-wise though....... no. So i guess what I'm saying is that i half agree with you. I guess as far as the adultery issue, it also depends on your religion. This might work: Wikipedia says: Although the definition of "adultery" differs in nearly every legal system, the common theme is sexual relations outside of marriage, in one form or another. If a guy looks at porn and gets turned on sexually, I'd say that counts because the people in the porn are outside the marriage.
gman0hsev Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I guess as far as the adultery issue, it also depends on your religion. This might work: Wikipedia says: Although the definition of "adultery" differs in nearly every legal system, the common theme is sexual relations outside of marriage, in one form or another. If a guy looks at porn and gets turned on sexually, I'd say that counts because the people in the porn are outside the marriage. you take that far to literally 1) Wikipedia isn't exactly the most...... factual website as it can be edited and revised by whomever 2) and by that logic wouldn't checking ppl out be borderline adultery?
HokeyReligions Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Good For you Gerrygirl, for breaking up! I've been in a loveless and for the last 14 years a sexless marriage. I should have broken up with him 20 years ago when it went sour but I was raised to "stick with your man no matter what" and by the time I was mature enough and strong enough to get out, I had readjusted my priorities and felt trapped. I've come to terms with my own life and have found what contentment I can - but I envy people who have the strength to do what I didn't do. I've lived my life by the "lesser of two evils" rule for so long that I couldn't change even if I wanted to. I have too much invested. Stay strong.
Jinnah Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 you take that far to literally 1) Wikipedia isn't exactly the most...... factual website as it can be edited and revised by whomever 2) and by that logic wouldn't checking ppl out be borderline adultery? Well, I would check another encyclopedia, but I'm quite tired, lol. As far as no.2, I guess if the person lusts after them, then yes, it would be. Looking and thinking, "Oh he/she is good looking" and then looking away is different.
Enema Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I think adultery has to be a real sex act; sex, oral sex, groping or even kissing another person. I don't think it applies to porn or checking people out because you're not doing anything real with those people... it's all imaginary. That said, I know my definition is completely different to ol' Jinnah's... but it's an unassailable position as everyone has their own interpretation.
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