reboot Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Pretty incredible thread. And there's an update he posted a couple of months ago here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t127083/ in case anyone wants to know what finally happened.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Yes! Dazed is from the same part of the world as me! My dad went through this and he walked out right away. I always wished he could have had the strength to stay like Dazed did... at least until I graduated. The most important part of this story is how the affair made him feel... the emotions he went through. Why his wife did that... well that goes directly to the point of this thread! Lack of direct attention + opportunity. Remember that familiarity breeds contempt! If your the perfect Spouse 99% of the time... your SO may come to resent that 1% your not perfect.
Author Jinnah Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 Thanks for the update link, as I was concerned about the outcome. At least he sounds a lot better now than he did in the original post.
allina Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I have a family member who is going through a divorce right now because her husband cheated. They were happily harried, he was a great husband and father (other than the cheating) and there were no signs. The cheating happened at work and was all meaningless sex. She found out about it and forgave him, he swore he'd never do it again. Then she found out it didn't stop and kicked him out. His reasoning was that he loved his wife but couldn't say no to the meaningless sex with other women and that all men in his profession did it.
SarahBeth04 Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Did you ever bother to tell your husband that you cheated? Serious question........... Why I ask is, if he ever does find out on his own, it's over. Ok, never mind, I saw the answer........ But, wasn't he royally pissed? What if he did it to you? I hope you don't mind the questions...... Of course he was pissed. And he has done it to me before. Neither of us are perfect but we also dont believe in divorcing for mistakes. We live by the what doesnt kill us makes us stronger mentality.
Author Jinnah Posted October 5, 2007 Author Posted October 5, 2007 I have a family member who is going through a divorce right now because her husband cheated. They were happily harried, he was a great husband and father (other than the cheating) and there were no signs. The cheating happened at work and was all meaningless sex. She found out about it and forgave him, he swore he'd never do it again. Then she found out it didn't stop and kicked him out. His reasoning was that he loved his wife but couldn't say no to the meaningless sex with other women and that all men in his profession did it. What profession, if you don't mind my asking?
allina Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 What profession, if you don't mind my asking? He's a higher ranked police officer, though this isn't in the US so it's a little different.
reboot Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 He's a higher ranked police officer, though this isn't in the US so it's a little different. Oh my. No it's no different here. I've known quite a few in my time, and, for whatever reason, a large number of them were cheaters. Seems lots of women like the uniform or something.
silktricks Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 Seems lots of women like the uniform or something. Goes back to that biggest baddest thing I posted on the other thread IMO. :lmao:
mopar crazy Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 Oh my. No it's no different here. I've known quite a few in my time, and, for whatever reason, a large number of them were cheaters. Seems lots of women like the uniform or something. I did, at one time. I dated a good looking police officers years ago. Sweet guy, and did he ever look sexy in that uniform, yum! However, his xGF was EXTEREMELY jealous of our R and would stalk and harass me all the time. I finally got sick of the ***** and broke it off for someone my own age (he was about 5 years older than me). I was so tired of going out w/ my friends and having her follow us everywhere we went. He said he couldn't stand her, blah, blah, blah. Well, shortly after I ended it they got back together and ended up getting M. They are D now. Wouldn't doubt it if he cheated on her.
PollyIvy Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 Why? At first I thought i just wanted to have a little adventure, but actually I was shocked at how badly I was craving affection,validation, etc, and a make-out session in a car one night turned into a one-year long affair. I couldn't believe that this man could love me, or that anyone could. Now I have confidence again, and my husband loves me more for being a confident woman. Ironic, huh. Could my husband have done anything to avoid his wife having an affair? Hell yes. But no. He pushed me away and criticized me constantly before. But - he was VERY stressed in that time period, and has poor communication skills, so he probably could not have modified his behaviour from 'hostile' to 'neutral' at that time in our lives. The result: Neither my h or the other guy's w found out. The affair actually helped my marriage. And don't criticize me people, I am living this life of mine here and I know what I am talking about.
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