DateAnalyzer Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Basically a no-strings attached situation that's satisfying for both the man and woman and don;t have to worry about all the other stuff that comes along with being in a relationship. Since i don;t have sex my arranagement is a little different but I guess a lot more people feel this is the way to go since relationships take so much out of you mentally sometimes.
curiousnycgirl Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I am mixed on the subject. I had a FWB relationship that lasted for 8 years. To tell the truth for most of those years it held me back from dating other people and moving on with my life. There were also times that one of our emotions would come over us, and one of us would think the other was "the one." Once I moved out of town (TX to NY), so it became a LDRFWB it was much easier to date others, and visit him from time to time. It ended when I met my current BF over 3 years ago. Overall I think it can be great, but in the end not something that really works for me (lol took me 8 years to figure that out!).
dropdeadlegs Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I had a FWB relationship once. We were friends for 10 years, FWB for 16 months , and are back to friends for over three years. It worked for me short term. We share many interests including music and sports, and we did things together from time to time, which isn't your typical FWB relationship. We both knew there would be no long term situation because he is a confirmed bachelor, and I was recently divorced and just not ready to really give myself to anyone, yet enjoyed male companionship in all aspects. I think my situation was a little different than many because we were also monogamous and did many things that a SO would do, like we both helped each other move. I didn't mind doing his laundry on occasion, and he didn't mind working on my car occasionally. We didn't just see each other for sexual reasons, but I would hardly call what we did dating, either. He would even babysit my kids for short periods, like an hour. We are two people who care very much about each other but we know we don't want the same things in life. I'm not sure I would do it again, but if I did I would probably go back to the same guy because there was a simplicity in it. When I met someone I was interested in pursuing, I didn't date or sleep with him until I told my FWB that I was not able to be that kind of friend anymore. He totally understood and always knew that I was ultimately interested in something more committed, and he couldn't offer me that. It was still a little sad, though. Not like a break up, but bittersweet, just the same. There is no question that a relationship involves more expectations. Gee, I need to go visit my friend. It's been a couple of months and I miss him. I really do enjoy his company, and for me that was the only way I could be a FWB.
Replicant Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Basically a no-strings attached situation that's satisfying for both the man and woman and don;t have to worry about all the other stuff that comes along with being in a relationship. Since i don;t have sex my arranagement is a little different but I guess a lot more people feel this is the way to go since relationships take so much out of you mentally sometimes. Do your right and left hand ever get jealous over which one has more benefits?
Timberlane Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 There will always be strings, despite what either party says. I'm at the end of just such an arrangement now. We both agreed that we were not dating exclusively before the get go. She even kept her online dating profiles active and we let others know the situation when they inquired. Yet now, she isn't returning my calls and e-mails and we had plans for the weekend. It feels distinctly like things have gotten too much like a girlfriend situation with certain unspoken responsibilities and sensitivities to who knows what. Seriously, I think it is no longer a FWB. So that's the end of it. Now if she would only return my calls so we can discuss getting out of this. If you enter into one, don't stay in for more than a month or two or take it to the girlfriend/boyfriend stage by then. Weird things happen when you ignore the arrangement.
oppath Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Well, some people get into them for YEARS. I agree, 1-2 months is a pretty good cutoff.
Blackberry Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Now if she would only return my calls so we can discuss getting out of this. It looks like you're no longer in it. Why do you need to discuss it anymore?
Timberlane Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 It looks like you're no longer in it. Why do you need to discuss it anymore? You forget the friend part, as in lots of future plans with mutual friends. You can't just get out of a FWB without a word. I told the two previous to this one many years ago that I was done about a month in for each. We parted on good terms and are still friends. I still call one of them from time to time. So we just need to have that talk, that's all. No drama, just an understanding. I do care about this woman after all very dearly.
dropdeadlegs Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I would think that more women than men have a hard time keeping their feelings out of a FWB arrangement, but when women use the logical part of their beings versus the emotional part, it can be a win-win situation. Especially for a busy woman with children who simply doesn't have the time to nurture a full-time relationship. It also takes a lot of maturity to remain friends after any relationship breakdown
Timberlane Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 It's kind of funny, but it was my emotions that got out of control with the first two women. One was a really exciting, dear friend that was very A-type and a little too driven for my tastes. But I was wildly attracted to her and cared for her. I started doing things that were probably a bad idea, like getting flowers for Valentine's Day and birthday gifts. It was very businesslike how we would meet and how long I would stay over for the night due to her concerns about her son. A little controlling really. That wore me out and depressed me a bit, so I had to call it quits. Well, I did talk to the girl I have been seeing tonight and things are not good. She got in too deep and now is feeling very hurt. It's no pleasure being the cause of that. She even had to get off the phone.
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