Blackberry Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I have a guy friend, who I'm not interested in, but he is relatively successful careerwise (not as successful as I am, but that's cool, I never hold that against anyone). Anyway he really should have had braces when he was younger. I can't help but notice his very crooked teeth all the time. If I were him, I would have gotten braces on my own once I had had a job out of college. It just looks awful, even to the point where it's kind of embarrassing to go out with him because people wonder "why didn't he get his teeth fixed?" I think I would be doing him a great service but I want to tell him in a tactful way that his appearance would be MUCH improved if he went to an orthodontist or cosmetic surgeon (I know they can do wonders). What do you think? I mean it's not like if he gained weight I would say anything because that is something easily changed and someone KNOWS when they need to lose weight and exercise. I just think he is unaware that his teeth are really unattractive. I would never go out with him, but I want to help him out as a friend. He is 36 and never had a girlfriend, I feel badly that he is literally the 36-year-old virgin and want to tactfully help him out. So....my question is...is it OK to tell him that he needs to get his teeth fixed? He really needs help in this area. I put this in dating because I want to help his dating life. Thank you for your opinions.
Lizzie60 Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 If you are really close to him.. I say tell him, just make sure you say it in a nice way. Nothing wrong with giving 'advices' to your friend
Lishy Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 So he would know if he needed to lose weight but he wouldnt know if his teeth are crooked? I dont know how that works but if you want to tell him then do, only dont be shocked if he tells you something about yourself! We are, none of us, perfect and the truth hurts! Ps ..... I find crooked teeth quite attractive!
Star Gazer Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 So he would know if he needed to lose weight but he wouldnt know if his teeth are crooked? I wondered the same thing, Lishy. When there is something "wrong" with someone physically - whether weight or teeth - they generally know about it. I doubt it would be a shocker to let him know his teeth aren't straight. But you pointing it out to him might suggest to him that HIS teeth are a problem for YOU, which is ridiculous. If you want to make the suggestion, I would suggest doing it indirectly. Make up a friend, and say something like, "Yeah, so I went out and had a few beers with my buddy last night, hadn't seen him in about two years. He had some dental work done, and man does he look great! He was pickin' up chicks left and right...I think I might go get Invisalign for myself!!" If he cares at all, he'll pick up on the point.
Krytie TV Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I was gonna say to ask Star Gazer, but I see you already showed up
Trialbyfire Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Crooked teeth doesn't stop you from getting laid. Something tells me his virginity is for other reasons. As for superficial change, if it really bothers someone, they will get it fixed. I'm personally not attracted to men with perfect faces. Give me some wear and tear, anyday.
Star Gazer Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I was gonna say to ask Star Gazer, but I see you already showed up Oh shush. I couldn't handle the mole. I moved on. I'm horrible, I know.
Krytie TV Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Oh shush. I couldn't handle the mole. I moved on. I'm horrible, I know. Thank you for finally being honest with yourself. You are never wrong when you do that. Sorry for the hijack, OP. I say let him know if he's a friend and it is not for selfish reasons. Heck, since two of my clients last week told me that I was getting chunky, I've made a commitment to sacrifice another hour of sleep to go to the gym before work. There can be a benefit to come from it.
shadowplay Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Oh shush. I couldn't handle the mole. I moved on. I'm horrible, I know. You really broke up with him over the mole? Did you ever mention it to him?
sb129 Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 So he would know if he needed to lose weight but he wouldnt know if his teeth are crooked? I dont know how that works but if you want to tell him then do, only dont be shocked if he tells you something about yourself! We are, none of us, perfect and the truth hurts! Ps ..... I find crooked teeth quite attractive! My BF, the wonderful Wonderboy has crooked teeth, and I am a dentist who could get him Invisalign for mates rates, and I could do cosmetic dentistry on him for free.... He gets self conscious about them, but I think they suit him- I wouldn't want him to change them- ever. They are part of who i fell in love with. Believe me, I notice peoples teeth- his are white and clean, and they suit him, and thats enough for me. My best friend who is also a dentist is engaged to another dentist who has crooked teeth- and they are blissfully happy too. I watch programmes like 10 years younger/ extreme makeover and CRINGE at some of the cowboy dentistry that is done to people who don't always need it. There is one guy here in the UK that also does things to smokers without addressing the smoking habit, which is asking for trouble,. Getting ceramics/ cosmetic dentistry is A. Very expensive B. Often destructive- you sometimes need to drill away healthy tooth tissue to make the veneers fit. C. Needs maintenance- it doesn't last forever, no matter how much you look after it. Invisalign is also expensive, and not everyone wants to go through 9-18months of wearing appliances.
DateAnalyzer Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I have a guy friend, who I'm not interested in, but he is relatively successful careerwise (not as successful as I am, but that's cool, I never hold that against anyone). Anyway he really should have had braces when he was younger. I can't help but notice his very crooked teeth all the time. If I were him, I would have gotten braces on my own once I had had a job out of college. It just looks awful, even to the point where it's kind of embarrassing to go out with him because people wonder "why didn't he get his teeth fixed?" I think I would be doing him a great service but I want to tell him in a tactful way that his appearance would be MUCH improved if he went to an orthodontist or cosmetic surgeon (I know they can do wonders). What do you think? I mean it's not like if he gained weight I would say anything because that is something easily changed and someone KNOWS when they need to lose weight and exercise. I just think he is unaware that his teeth are really unattractive. I would never go out with him, but I want to help him out as a friend. He is 36 and never had a girlfriend, I feel badly that he is literally the 36-year-old virgin and want to tactfully help him out. So....my question is...is it OK to tell him that he needs to get his teeth fixed? He really needs help in this area. I put this in dating because I want to help his dating life. Thank you for your opinions. There is no way I can tell a friend anything like that-lol
shadowplay Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I watch programmes like 10 years younger/ extreme makeover and CRINGE at some of the cowboy dentistry that is done to people who don't always need it. There is one guy here in the UK that also does things to smokers without addressing the smoking habit, which is asking for trouble,. Could you elaborate on this?
sb129 Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 The dentist on the UK programme 10 years younger does some stuff that I would never do on a patient. He does the kind of quick- fix, instant Hollywood smile stuff that is great for the cameras but no good for the long term dental health of the patient. He also never sees the patients again, so if (when) his work fails, its left to another dentist to pick up the pieces and the patient will have to pay again. Last week he massacred a woman who really didn't need anything more than a little bleaching, her amalgam fillings replacing with white ones, and a front crown replacing. He drilled away at least 1-2mm of 8+ teeth (which is IRREVERSIBLE), and fitted ceramic facings onto all of them, which was unnecessary. The lady wasn't given any options, and her teeth ended up looking fake and IMHO, awful.
shadowplay Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 The dentist on the UK programme 10 years younger does some stuff that I would never do on a patient. He does the kind of quick- fix, instant Hollywood smile stuff that is great for the cameras but no good for the long term dental health of the patient. He also never sees the patients again, so if (when) his work fails, its left to another dentist to pick up the pieces and the patient will have to pay again. Last week he massacred a woman who really didn't need anything more than a little bleaching, her amalgam fillings replacing with white ones, and a front crown replacing. He drilled away at least 1-2mm of 8+ teeth (which is IRREVERSIBLE), and fitted ceramic facings onto all of them, which was unnecessary. The lady wasn't given any options, and her teeth ended up looking fake and IMHO, awful. Are you against veneers in general? I ask because I've considered getting them and have had the option suggested to me by several dentists My six front teeth are oddly shaped. My two front teeth are too long and the teeth flanking them are too short, then my canines are overly pointy. Obviously braces wouldn't do the trick because it wouldn't change the shape of my teeth. What would you suggest?
sb129 Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 No, I am not against veneers at all. When used appropriately, they can look amazing. I am against people having "over"- treatment, or making ill-informed choices. There are always options, and people need to know the risks and benefits of each option. However, veneers won't make your teeth shorter... I usually either take moulds, and make a wax-up on the model of how they will look after treatment- this shows the pt what the end result will look like, and helps the decision process. I also sometimes use temporary white fillings for a few months (which can be removed if the person changes their mind) which are cheaper and less destructive, and can help the patient decide if they want to go "the whole hog" and commit to the more expensive treatment later. Feel free to PM me if you want more advice, its free- i can take a look at a photo too if you want.
Star Gazer Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 You really broke up with him over the mole? Did you ever mention it to him? No, silly. Not because of the mole (well, not JUST because of the mole, anyway). There were several issues that just didn't work for me. I never felt that *spark* with him, and over time he kinda showed me that he just wasn't all that special (or even nice) of a guy. Oh well.
shadowplay Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 No, silly. Not because of the mole (well, not JUST because of the mole, anyway). There were several issues that just didn't work for me. I never felt that *spark* with him, and over time he kinda showed me that he just wasn't all that special (or even nice) of a guy. Oh well. Ok, phew. Would have made a great Seinfeld episode, though.
Star Gazer Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Ok, phew. Would have made a great Seinfeld episode, though. It was a gross mole though, serious. Both the one by his nose and the one on his back. The back one...ugh. (((shudders)))
shadowplay Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 No, I am not against veneers at all. When used appropriately, they can look amazing. I am against people having "over"- treatment, or making ill-informed choices. There are always options, and people need to know the risks and benefits of each option. However, veneers won't make your teeth shorter... I usually either take moulds, and make a wax-up on the model of how they will look after treatment- this shows the pt what the end result will look like, and helps the decision process. I also sometimes use temporary white fillings for a few months (which can be removed if the person changes their mind) which are cheaper and less destructive, and can help the patient decide if they want to go "the whole hog" and commit to the more expensive treatment later. Feel free to PM me if you want more advice, its free- i can take a look at a photo too if you want. Great, thanks for the advice and info! I will PM you as soon as a I take a good pic of my teeth.
Author Blackberry Posted October 3, 2007 Author Posted October 3, 2007 I wondered the same thing, Lishy. When there is something "wrong" with someone physically - whether weight or teeth - they generally know about it. I doubt it would be a shocker to let him know his teeth aren't straight. But you pointing it out to him might suggest to him that HIS teeth are a problem for YOU, which is ridiculous. If you want to make the suggestion, I would suggest doing it indirectly. Make up a friend, and say something like, "Yeah, so I went out and had a few beers with my buddy last night, hadn't seen him in about two years. He had some dental work done, and man does he look great! He was pickin' up chicks left and right...I think I might go get Invisalign for myself!!" If he cares at all, he'll pick up on the point. His teeth are so bad it is probably beyond Invisalign type of help. But that is an excellent idea!!! For you people who think it's one or two "endearing" teeth which are imperfect, it's WAY worse than that. his two front teeth are totally sideways, as in the sides are pointing to the front. And the other ones are very crooked, too. It looks horrible, there is no way that it could be endearing or sexy to anyone. I am glad when I had a huge gap between my two front teeth when I was young, my mom took me to an orthodontist. Thank you, Mom. You're awesome. I love having a great smile and not being self-conscious.
Timberlane Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I have a guy friend, who I'm not interested in, but he is relatively successful careerwise (not as successful as I am, but that's cool, I never hold that against anyone). So nice to know his relatively less successful career doesn't dent the mutual pleasure of your friendship. Sheesh.
popey Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 I think it all depends on the person you are dealing with. a conversation like that is taken very different by different people. if you think he's the type who would welcome advice, give it. But if he's the type that would just be made to feel hurt, and inadequate, why point out the obvious?
Krytie TV Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 So nice to know his relatively less successful career doesn't dent the mutual pleasure of your friendship. Sheesh. Yeah, no kidding. I actually glossed over that the first time. Maybe she can just command him to get it fixed, given his relative subordinance to her
Timberlane Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 Yeah, no kidding. I actually glossed over that the first time. Maybe she can just command him to get it fixed, given his relative subordinance to her Ha ha ha. Well, I do agree about the bad teeth thing, though. Get those choppers fixed girls and guys. It's a major turn off to see bad ones. It's all about projecting an image of health and fecundity.
shadowplay Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 It was a gross mole though, serious. Both the one by his nose and the one on his back. The back one...ugh. (((shudders))) Was it hairy and raised?
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