big_girls_rock Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 After talking to a guy 2.5 hrs away from me that I really clicked with, we decided to finally meet up. We both wanted to take things slow but it was pretty obvious that we liked eachother a lot and talked every day for weeks at least 4 times a day. When we finally met it was apperent that we were attracted to one another and hung out for the weekend spending a lot of time together. He got to meet my friends and got on with them as well proclaiming that I was his girl. The night before he left he explained that we should see other people. I was surprised and hurt, but agreed if that was what he wanted, I would be o.k. with it because we wanted to take things slow. On the way dropping me off home his attitude was totally different. He could barely look at me let alone talk, he even wen't home 3 hrs. before he said he would. The phone calls stopped, the text messages, and the IM's all stopped. He didn't even call me like he promised when he got home from the trip back until I text'd him. This all really hurt because he promised that he would never hurt me (though I know people are only human and mistakes will happend) and that I thought we both had an understanding and really liked eachother. Meanwhile, two weeks pass by since the meeting with not a word from him but a few replies that he was tired and such. He finally get's a hold of me saying how sorry he is and how he is too afraid of a commitment (like I wasn't) and that he knows he dosn't have another chance with me for what he's done. That he wants to be with me, and pursue me and how he loved every minute of being with me. And how he dosn't want anyone else. Though this is all flattering, this always happens to me, and it get's pretty old. I'm so tired of guys liking me one minute, and then running away and comming back once they realize that they screwed up on a good thing. I told him that I would think about talking to him again, but I would rather be friends for a while because my feelings for him have since then ceased and I refuse to give in to him so easily. I think if he wants me back so bad that he should work for it and pursue me, and not the other way around. Any takes on what I should do in a situation like this? I really like this guy, but I can't put my heart on the line if he's just going to switch up on me.
daphne Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I'm not sure where the question is, because you seem to have a clear grasp on the situation and what to do. However, I'm not so sure I'd be hip on taking him back. He acted like a flake and honestly, in the long run, they tend to be the same. Good guys will let you know what's going on if they're conflicted, and will ride out the storm until they know for sure. Flakes will let you down every time there's a problem. But if you do feel the urge to see if there's something there, I wouldn't do anything other than make him work to get me back. Otherwise, it will never be worth it.
Spinderella Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 You sound like you are doing all the right stuff. I agree with Daphne though, make it a LONG friendship, so that you can really get to know where he is coming from.
Author big_girls_rock Posted October 3, 2007 Author Posted October 3, 2007 Thank you both for your responses, they were both great options. Ive made up my mind to just be friends with him for a while, I can't have him do this to me again and I think its something that we can both learn from.
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