fell4him Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Hi everybody, I'm new here, but have a question... What does it mean when a man texts you instead of calls you? Does it mean anything??? Let me say, that I'm not dating this guy, though I would like to. He's actually going through a divorce and isn't "ready" for a relationship. We've been friends for a long time, and does call occasionally, but the texting thing's just kind of getting to me. I guess I could deal with a quick comment or two, but the texting may go on for 15-30 minutes, then suddenly stop. It seems kind of impersonal to me. Am I just being sensitive and overthinking the situation or what?? Help
Timberlane Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Weird. Maybe he is just a texting fool and that is his gig. Also, he might be doing it from work. I hate long IM sessions when you could just pick up the phone. Bah. I never respond to text messages and claim that I am unable to read them. That cuts down on those annoyances. Leave a nice voice message. So much nicer.
gonetildecember Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 when my ex used to text me like that it was because his girlfriend (yes he had two...without us knowing) was in the room and he couldn't be on the phone with me, so he would text to maintain contact. but some guys are just texters. i have many guy friends like that.
maynard Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 i wouldnt read too much into texting. it could mean anything or nothing if it bothers you, then one time in the middle of text conversation say, "hey, im gotta do some stuff right now. can i call you a little later?" see what he says texting is a great icebreaker. look at it as an opportunity to craft the conversation. you have plenty of time to say what you want or steer the conversation your way either way though, if the guy isnt ready, he isnt ready
italianchica Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 In my opinion, a guy who always does the text thing and never attempts a phone call is only after one thing - Attention! Sounds like he doesn't want to start something he's unsure of so he's just tip toein' around and keeping his options open. Since he's going through a divorce this can be boosting his esteem quite a bit. You guys aren't dating though so no harm done. He needs time to heal after the divorce so you don't want to rush into anything with him anyhow. Nothing wrong with texting and keeping your options open either. On down the line - you never know. You both could have something. Until then - just keep it simple.
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Is he 18 or 19 years old? I can see someone whose that age using texting as a form of communication, but a supposed GROWN man doing it? That's pathetic.
stillafool Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 :lmao:I agree! lol. I think a guy texting all the time instead of calling is just keeping you on hold until he needs you. When you are really into someone you want to hear their voice.
sweetie7 Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I just think texting is the lazy man's way of doing things. It's so much easier than calling and requires very little effort. I think texting has a time and a place, but only communicating by text is not OK with me. A guy I'm dating right now balances it perfectly in my opinion. He calls me when he's at home, in the car, we're trying to make plans, etc. And he texts when he wants to say hi or tell me something when he's at work or out at a bar, etc. I'm a big phone person, especially when you can't see someone a lot, so I couldn't deal with a guy who only texted. I like long meaningful phone conversations
uniqueone Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I think maybe some clarification is needed here....by texting you mean instant messaging, right? You're not referring to texting by phone I take it. A guy sending instant messages (especially a newly divorced guy) has probably got others that he's instant messaging at the same time. Some do it when they're bored. Some do it when they can't go out because it's their turn to have the kids. Some do it when they've had a few drinks in them. The difference between talking online (emails, instant messages) vs. talking on the phone is that, online, you can always just click yourself off with a button. There's no commitment. In other words, the person who wants to talk online can't even commit enough to a phone call--- because with a phone call, you can't just hang up on the person. That's pretty bad when someone can't even commit to a phone call because it might actually pin them down for 20 minutes of their undivided time. The solution would be for you to become unavailable to him online. That means he'll either stop the "relationship" altogether or he'll call you. If he stops the relationship altogether, what really have you lost?
Mezzi Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 I definitely agree with IcallsemasIseeem. My last boyfriend who was a grown man over thirty was a big texter and that was mainly because he was cheap.
ls3360 Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Is he 18 or 19 years old? I can see someone whose that age using texting as a form of communication, but a supposed GROWN man doing it? That's pathetic. I've heard numerous complaints and fielded a few questions about TM'ing in the last year. Some people see no reason for it at all. I'll speak up in defense of _reasonable_ TM'ing.... There is a time and a place for TM'ing. Consider... 1) You have a short message you want to convey and don't need an answer 2) You're some place, eg. a meeting, where you can't be speaking on the phone, yet you want to communicate 2b) You fear the other person might be in a place where they can't afford the interruption of a ringing phone unless it's an emergency, yet if they are available, you want to get a message across. 2c) You know the other party shouldn't be interrupted, but will be available shortly... and you won't be. 3) You want to get/give information, eg. a phone number, clearly and persistently. For users of BlackBerrys and similar phones, TM is ideal when conveying certain types of information. 4) Other... Even if you're never in any of these situations, the other party might be. 'Or have developed a habit due to often facing these situations. Please be understanding.
compassion42 Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 It sounds like he's texting to try to maintain a distance yet keep connected. Texting is way less personal than a phone call and can be ended much easier. This also makes sense if he is not in a position to have a relationship-it's much less of a committment than calling would be.
norajane Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Either his wife is in the house and he doesn't dare risk an actual phone conversation, or he's a weenie and can't carry on an actual phone conversation of any depth or interest. Are you sure he's going through a divorce? Is he still living at home with his wife? Have you ever been to his house?
DazedandConfused66 Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 LOL, I'm 41 years old and I SMS/TXT message my wife little durty things all the day long. I'll be in meetings or whatever and she'll do likewise for me. Sometimes, just knowing you are in each others thoughts goes a long ways. Now we talk on the phone and spend a lot of time talking face to face also. But with technology advances, there are so many ways to keep in touch that we like to avail ourselves of ALL of them. Hell, she put a sexy MP3 recording on my iPod the other day without me even knowing about it. I'm on my run, listening to my playlist of running tunes and there in the middle was her telling me the most erotic things.....I turned around and ran FAST right back home to "show" her how it affected me. You are NEVER too old to try something new to spice up the relationship. If he's txt'ing you, he is thinking about you. What's so wrong about that?
norajane Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 You are NEVER too old to try something new to spice up the relationship. If he's txt'ing you, he is thinking about you. What's so wrong about that? What's wrong is that that's virtually ALL he's doing. He's not calling much and talking to her. You and your wife are doing it right - it's playful and it's fun, and it's certainly not your only mode of communication. You're using to it's best advantage to enhance your relationship. This guy, though, is hiding behind it.
Fancee Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 I understand where you are coming from. While I love texting and it has its advantages. As for as your situation I have experienced. I liked this guy more than he seemed to like me because it was always a text and I had grown a little more than that. So in my case when he called I wouldn't answer. When he texted can I call you, I wouldn't answer. I text him only if he text me. I was was sick of liking somebody that just wasn't that into me. He would say he cared very much when we talked but I never believed it. I have some other friends who I text and talk with but its not the same vibe. Some people don't like talking much and if that be the case would want to live with someone who just wants to listen to you or the tv all the time? One more thing you might want to believe some of these girls on here and their theoryZ.
Phateless Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Hi everybody, I'm new here, but have a question... What does it mean when a man texts you instead of calls you? Does it mean anything??? Let me say, that I'm not dating this guy, though I would like to. He's actually going through a divorce and isn't "ready" for a relationship. We've been friends for a long time, and does call occasionally, but the texting thing's just kind of getting to me. I guess I could deal with a quick comment or two, but the texting may go on for 15-30 minutes, then suddenly stop. It seems kind of impersonal to me. Am I just being sensitive and overthinking the situation or what?? Help I love texting, mostly because it allows me to communicate with someone WITHOUT interrupting whatever else I might be doing. For example, at work, in class, hanging out at a friend's house, having a beer... I don't want to interrupt my time with my friend, but I can still fire off a text every so often. I wouldn't read too much into it. Some people think it means that he's too scared/nervous/intimidated to call... I don't buy that. I call when I want to ask her out. I text to keep in touch and do a little bit of playing/flirting. Or maybe I just don't feel like having a full conversation at the moment...
lovelorcet Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 I love texting, mostly because it allows me to communicate with someone WITHOUT interrupting whatever else I might be doing. For example, at work, in class, hanging out at a friend's house, having a beer... I don't want to interrupt my time with my friend, but I can still fire off a text every so often. I wouldn't read too much into it. Some people think it means that he's too scared/nervous/intimidated to call... I don't buy that. I call when I want to ask her out. I text to keep in touch and do a little bit of playing/flirting. Or maybe I just don't feel like having a full conversation at the moment... I agree. The more someone is used to using a cellphone/ texting the more they do it. This can be clearly seen in countries where mobile phone networks are more advanced and have been around longer than in the states. For example in Europe texting is more common than calling for socializing and is completely ok. Some of the negative comments already given may also be true but it is possible that is not the case.
Mezzi Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 I love texting, mostly because it allows me to communicate with someone WITHOUT interrupting whatever else I might be doing. For example, at work, in class, hanging out at a friend's house, having a beer... I don't want to interrupt my time with my friend, but I can still fire off a text every so often. I wouldn't read too much into it. Some people think it means that he's too scared/nervous/intimidated to call... I don't buy that. I call when I want to ask her out. I text to keep in touch and do a little bit of playing/flirting. Or maybe I just don't feel like having a full conversation at the moment... Totally disagree and continuous texting is can be VERY interruptive. A one off (even lengthy) phone call vs. firing off a text ever so often; clearly the former is less interruptive. However, if someone believes that texting is better than calling and likes things that way that is their business.
Phateless Posted October 9, 2007 Posted October 9, 2007 Totally disagree and continuous texting is can be VERY interruptive. A one off (even lengthy) phone call vs. firing off a text ever so often; clearly the former is less interruptive. However, if someone believes that texting is better than calling and likes things that way that is their business. I was merely reporting my own experience and perspective. I see your point, but I keep my phone on vibrate, so the texts are silent when they come in. No big deal.
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