Bobby NoBrains Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Bobby, we all come here from a unique place. It's best that we respect that fact. Are we now that thin skinned? Does a persons point of view become invalid if you dont think it is helpful? Hehe, that's not what I was saying at all. It was more to do with the short criticisms like the OP put in her post .. The "you evil woman/man" bit doesn't really help as much as it should. The poster is prolly already going through that bit and our rubbing it in may not really be the best solution. Something more on the lines of suggestions for future actions, or references to similar experiences or constructive (or even negative) criticism, but something that is not only name-calling or accusatory in nature. Ofc, contrary views are necessary. Just like every coin has two sides, it's necessary to be able to have access to different viewpoints on every issue. But, ideally, the intention should be to try to help the poster, rather than just call him/her names for coming to us for help. Go on, Cobra_X30, you know what I mean ... Just my two bits .. Bobby
TogetherForever Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Hehe, that's not what I was saying at all. It was more to do with the short criticisms like the OP put in her post .. The "you evil woman/man" bit doesn't really help as much as it should. The poster is prolly already going through that bit and our rubbing it in may not really be the best solution. Something more on the lines of suggestions for future actions, or references to similar experiences or constructive (or even negative) criticism, but something that is not only name-calling or accusatory in nature. Ofc, contrary views are necessary. Just like every coin has two sides, it's necessary to be able to have access to different viewpoints on every issue. But, ideally, the intention should be to try to help the poster, rather than just call him/her names for coming to us for help. Go on, Cobra_X30, you know what I mean ... Just my two bits .. Bobby Help will only be offered to those who want to or need help in ending the affair. If an ow intends to stay in an affair, no help is offered just venom. TF
Bobby NoBrains Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Help will only be offered to those who want to or need help in ending the affair. If an ow intends to stay in an affair, no help is offered just venom. TF I'm too new to really know if that's the case. Are you saying that cause that's what you've seen, or is that like a general rule that I dunno about ? Just my two bits .. Bobby
TogetherForever Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I'm too new to really know if that's the case. Are you saying that cause that's what you've seen, or is that like a general rule that I dunno about ? Just my two bits .. Bobby That's just how it's been since I've been a member. I'm sure someone else will add their two bits & then you'll see how things work around here. I see it as this forums general rule.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Something more on the lines of suggestions for future actions, or references to similar experiences or constructive (or even negative) criticism, but something that is not only name-calling or accusatory in nature. But, ideally, the intention should be to try to help the poster, rather than just call him/her names for coming to us for help. Go on, Cobra_X30, you know what I mean ... Just my two bits .. Bobby I know what you were trying to say! For the most part I agree. I don't like seeing poeple get flamed. I am occiasionally on the recieving end of some of those nasty comments, so I understand. However instead of complaining and asking others to change, is it not a better lesson to learn that not everyone is going to like us? That sometimes we need to take things in stride, and let the petty insults slough off? Or is it better that we demand others tip toe around our feelings?
Bobby NoBrains Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 However instead of complaining and asking others to change, is it not a better lesson to learn that not everyone is going to like us? That sometimes we need to take things in stride, and let the petty insults slough off? Or is it better that we demand others tip toe around our feelings? I see what you're getting at ... I agree Let the barking dogs bark, and stay away from the ones that bite, hehe. Now what am I saying ?? lol Just my two bits .. Bobby
Cobra_X30 Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I see what you're getting at ... I agree Let the barking dogs bark, and stay away from the ones that bite, hehe. Now what am I saying ?? lol Just my two bits .. Bobby Ask me for a summation? Nice tactic! LOL... your requesting a self imposed muzzle! As far as solutions go its more ideal than real. Thats my 2 bits! TF says that help is only provided in ending the affair. Is that a bad thing?
luvmy2ns Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Many (note I said "many") OW come on here time and time again, complaining about how their MM still hasn't left his wife or asking if anyone thinks he will. What they really want to hear is, "Oh, he'll leave her eventually, 'cause I'm sure he's honest with you at least." That's not the truth in most non-OW's minds because they aren't thinking with a clouded head full of the MM's lies like the OW is. The truth is most OW are being used. It's sad for a woman to waste years of her life waiting for nothing. Did I say that in a non-nasty way? It was meant to be.
Bobby NoBrains Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 luvmy2ns, very nice point ... I suppose that is the reason people vent on OW who won't understand the reality of their situation. No wonder that most people here will urge the OW to end the affair. It makes sense when you put it in a non-nasty way Cobra, in view of what luvmy2ns has said above, I guess it does make sense. Not very many posts where OW are not whining about MM's interest or lack thereof. So it might be giving the posters a sense of futility when they see no progress being made, resulting in "venom". I myself posted some harsh comments on mattym's post on the Infidelity forum cause I felt that he dint want to help himself and it was an escapist tactic for him to ask for advice. So I guess folks do get irritated and nasty. Just my two bits .. Bobby
Recommended Posts