CaliGuy Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Not true for us all. Not all of us are looking for a trophy wife/GF. More important things to consider IMO. Riddler, I couldn't agree with you more.
alterego1234 Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 What happens when you accidentally knock up this pro-life anti-kid dreamgirl? Good question. First, it isn't very likely on so many levels: 1. I'm not going to date until after my ex remarries or dies. 2. I may not even date then. I'm seriously considering remaining a bachelor the rest of my life. 3. Even if I do date, I wouldn't compromise what I'm looking for, and right now I don't believe this dream girl exists. 4. I'm shooting blanks now and this has been confirmed by at least two and maybe even three different post-op checks by the urologist. (It turns out my ex was deathly afraid of getting pregnant the last few years of our marriage because that would tie her to me longer.) 5. I'd be interested in older women who are less fertile anyway. So the odds are something like a million to one I think. But if, after all that, we got pregnant, then we'd have a baby. Clarification: I'm not looking for anti-kid, just someone who doesn't want more kids -- I have three already and that is enough for me. Ideally she doesn't have kids of her own for the same reason. So I guess in my ideal fantasy world, someone who loves kids but is infertile.
Saxis Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Here we go, this is what I could come up with. *Attractive *Honest *Self-confident *Not attached to my bank account *Fun/Sense of humor *Smart
Trimmer Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Alterego - this is probably going off topic a bit (although no too much, and I can't resist asking...) 1. I'm not going to date until after my ex remarries or dies. May I ask what are the thoughts and feelings that went into this decision? This seems to give a lot of power over your life to something that is now completely outside your control. Not criticizing; I'm just very interested in how you came to this.
alterego1234 Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Trimmer, It's a religious thing for me. Skip the rest of this post if religious talk offends you. I believe God wants marriages to be for life. Sure, there's things like abuse where a marriage probably should end, but in our case there was nothing like that...just the standard claim of "irreconcilable differences" and her new boyfriend who is more exciting. So in this case, I believe God wants reconciliation between her and I just like He wants reconciliation between Him and us. Quite frankly I doubt this will happen; she's clearly written me off and moved on. And quite bluntly, I don't really want her back now as I've sort of been growing a small garden of spine, self esteem, and perspective. Also, it would be a hell of a lot of work that I'm not really up for. From what I read in the Bible, though, God doesn't give up hope for us until my ex dies or remarries. (I guess in the latter case, in God's eyes, He might as well root for the new marriage, I dunno.) So if God hasn't given up hope, then I need to stay in a place where I can be available to reconcile. To me, dating frustrates that: I can't be respectful to any prospective dating partners of mine, and I don't want to date anyone I can't respect, whether the lack of respect stems from something in me (such as the present case) or in her. There's a fine line here. I'm trying -- and mostly succeeding I think -- at not waiting around for my ex to change her mind and come running back. I'm also trying to get over her and trying not to do anything to win her back (even the littlest things can trip me up here, I'm learning). You're right, I'm effectively giving up control of that aspect of my life, but I like to think I'm giving that control to God and not to my ex. Most folks I have shared this with -- even religious folks -- think I'm wrong on this point. I'm willing to listen to feedback or comments, but I'm also pretty comfortable with my thought process and decision. Anyway, hope that answers the question.
DateAnalyzer Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I've seen a lot of threads outlining the ideal man, but few on what men look for in women. Describe in as much detail as possible the kind of girl you'd fall in love. I think I have a pretty good idea of what men look for, so correct me if I'm wrong. These are the qualities that I've observed guys respond most to: *smart *warm/loving/supportive *confident/respects herself but has a vulnerable side as well *optimistic *independent/not needy *doesn't take herself too seriously/fun to be around *doesn't do all the talking/good listener but has a mind of her own *somewhat reserved as opposed to a party animal type Anything I'm missing? Girl that's employed no kids sexy feet cute face medium to plus size intelligent
DateAnalyzer Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I've actually heard this one a lot Yes that is very important, it's a woman daily job to keep her feet up
Timberlane Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 :laugh:Ha, you just beat me to it, spookie! I was going to ask the same thing. How does THAT work! Better double up on the condoms.:laugh: Ha ha ha! Good one. Seems like vasectomy time, hmmmmmm?
Rooster_DAR Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 1 naked 2 naked 3 naked 4.........should I go on?
popey Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 My (partial) list: + friendly / kind + considerate / thoughtful + honest + open + loyal + frugal + educated + not self-centered + secure in herself And to be blunt, right now she'd have to at least be cute. But what each guy considers cute or pretty is very much YMMV. I thought my ex was gorgeous but other guys I asked thought she was just so-so. frugal cracks me up!
alterego1234 Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 Ha ha ha! Good one. Seems like vasectomy time, hmmmmmm? Already had one.
alterego1234 Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 frugal cracks me up! Why? I'm frugal; my ex wasn't. The difference caused problems.
BlueEyedGirl Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 1. Thin, hot and young 2. Bitchy, manipulative and controling in an underhanded way (that is guy doesn't "see" that she is being bitchy but everyone around them does) 3. Good in bed 4. Less intelligent than the guy is 5. Funny, but of course less funny than the guy is
Author shadowplay Posted October 4, 2007 Author Posted October 4, 2007 1. Thin, hot and young 2. Bitchy, manipulative and controling in an underhanded way (that is guy doesn't "see" that she is being bitchy but everyone around them does) 3. Good in bed 4. Less intelligent than the guy is 5. Funny, but of course less funny than the guy is That's hilarious. I know many girls who fit that description and have no trouble finding men. But they also tend to attract more superficial, douchey guys...reflective, "tasteful" men don't go for that type as much in my experience.
tanbark813 Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 Okay, I want to add one to my list: Not bitter about men.
Rooster_DAR Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 Okay, I want to add one to my list: Not bitter about men. How about: She looks like Carrie from Mythbusters.
tanbark813 Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 She looks like Carrie from Mythbusters. Oh hell yes.
Timberlane Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 Oh hell yes. Merely looks like Carrie from Mythbusters? Pffft. IS Carrie from Mythbusters! OK, a few more: 1. Is emotionally stable, refrains from blowing things out of proportion, and generally is self-amused. 2. Has interests that are outside of the relationship and exclude hanging out partying with other dudes. 3. Knows when enough is enough.
Trimmer Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 sexy feet I've actually heard this one a lot What, that you've got them, or that guys wish you had them? It's a religious thing for me. Skip the rest of this post if religious talk offends you. Not at all, I'm still just as interested... (arrogance offends me, but you're doing OK so far....) I believe God wants marriages to be for life. Sure, there's things like abuse where a marriage probably should end, but in our case there was nothing like that...just the standard claim of "irreconcilable differences" and her new boyfriend who is more exciting. So in this case, I believe God wants reconciliation between her and I just like He wants reconciliation between Him and us. Quite frankly I doubt this will happen; she's clearly written me off and moved on. And quite bluntly, I don't really want her back now as I've sort of been growing a small garden of spine, self esteem, and perspective. Also, it would be a hell of a lot of work that I'm not really up for. From what I read in the Bible, though, God doesn't give up hope for us until my ex dies or remarries. (I guess in the latter case, in God's eyes, He might as well root for the new marriage, I dunno.) So if God hasn't given up hope, then I need to stay in a place where I can be available to reconcile. To me, dating frustrates that: I can't be respectful to any prospective dating partners of mine, and I don't want to date anyone I can't respect, whether the lack of respect stems from something in me (such as the present case) or in her. There's a fine line here. I'm trying -- and mostly succeeding I think -- at not waiting around for my ex to change her mind and come running back. I'm also trying to get over her and trying not to do anything to win her back (even the littlest things can trip me up here, I'm learning). You're right, I'm effectively giving up control of that aspect of my life, but I like to think I'm giving that control to God and not to my ex. Most folks I have shared this with -- even religious folks -- think I'm wrong on this point. I'm willing to listen to feedback or comments, but I'm also pretty comfortable with my thought process and decision. Anyway, hope that answers the question. It does, and thanks for sharing it. While I don't share your beliefs, I can see how, based on your beliefs, you get from there to here. It looks like you have yourself pretty much convinced; have you discussed your conclusions with your priest, pastor, whoever, about this? Incidentally, I love your metaphor of "growing a small garden of spine, self esteem, and perspective." It's like a little herb garden growing outside the kitchen window. You are right, it seems like it would be riding a very fine line. My perspective is that, in a case like this, you need to fully commit to your future - including accepting that your past has truly "passed" - in order to fully heal. And I feel a little sad for you that God would burden you with a life alone, in a case where you are so willing to try to do the right thing, but that's just what your faith is about, isn't it? Well, I don't want to thread jack (too much! ) Thanks for explaining.
DutchGuy Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 I think this one applies worldwide: Foreign accent. Not that it is a must, but a very hot bonus.
samueltrece Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 Oh whatever all guys also want a girl that's thin and hot. i like my girls beautiful not hot
alterego1234 Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 It looks like you have yourself pretty much convinced; have you discussed your conclusions with your priest, pastor, whoever, about this? Not yet. However, if I either get to the point that I am interested in dating again and my ex has not remarried (unlikely) or I have occasion to bring it up with them (more likely), I will. Incidentally, I love your metaphor of "growing a small garden of spine, self esteem, and perspective." It's like a little herb garden growing outside the kitchen window. Thanks! You are right, it seems like it would be riding a very fine line. My perspective is that, in a case like this, you need to fully commit to your future - including accepting that your past has truly "passed" - in order to fully heal. And I feel a little sad for you that God would burden you with a life alone, in a case where you are so willing to try to do the right thing, but that's just what your faith is about, isn't it? Agreed with you on the first part about moving on. On the second part: two comments here, and I don't mean to start a religious discussion in the middle of another thread: 1. IMHO: God did not burden me; my ex-wife burdened me when she chose divorce. 2. These events may end up being a blessing in disguise. Well, I don't want to thread jack (too much! ) Thanks for explaining. You're welcome.
Timberlane Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I think this one applies worldwide: Foreign accent. Not that it is a must, but a very hot bonus. I'll pass on that one. After five or six years, you'll get over the accent I assure you.
Lunar Sonata Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 Ideal? Well, I'm pretty flexible when it comes down to those things so I'll just list the "deal breakers" I think you folks call it: Overly self-centered or conceited women. The ones who think they can do no wrong.Psychotic drama queens. The ones who are but don't think they are. "Oh but she did this she did that and you know what Courtney said about her chirpchirpchirp she was such a bitch" Anybody who talks like that.Too much baggage. Nothing against a woman with problems, just when they self-medicate it by adding more problems is, well, a big problem for meSmoking and tramp stamps. Please have a touch of class. It's not that hard. See? Not so bad.
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