Msblueyes Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 My soon to be x boyfriend is said to be moving out Friday. As I sit here, I keep writing letters explaining how hurt I am by his actions of hitting on my friends in the past two weeks and why that has caused his past to resurface to the present. I keep tearing up the letters because all I can talk about is this and it's not what I really want to get across to him as he leaves. Is it better just to let him go and not send him with my thoughts? Is this where "no contact" comes in? It's raining now and I feel like it's god crying for me. We were together since 2000 when I got divorced. My boyfriend had a drug habit that ate up all my divorce money and then some. I have seen him through the gauntlet of addiction. I conquered my own demons, I got right. Out of rehab, less than three months, he hasn't made love to me at all. From what I've read, one of the warnings that's something wrong. I made mental excuses, rehab, new job, tired...but when he hit up my friends, I don't think so. Is there any excuse ever for a boyfriend to hit on his girlfriend's friends? Set my thinking straight! Okay, enough of that, should I just keep writing my feelings down and crumpling them up in the trash. Is this the best way for me to vent? Does he even deserve a letter to leave with?
niceguy27 Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 Burn the letters after you write them. Also, give it a couple weeks until you decide to write one to send to him. Most of the time the letter is only good for you to have some type of closure from the relationship. It rarely does any good to change his mind. If you havent talked about things and tried to work through the problems dont do the letter. Talk first then if you want, wait a while to send him a letter if that makes you feel better. Good Luck.
ijustwannago Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 he is right don't send any emotional letters that you write. write them for yourself! i started reading a few thing that i've written when it was fresh. I'm glad i have them it's a meausre of growth and progress. i'll burn mine too eventually. we are hear for ya!
Author Msblueyes Posted October 2, 2007 Author Posted October 2, 2007 I appreciate you all so very much! Thank you. I will not write anything except to myself.
Curious139 Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 Start a journal of your thoughts and write in it as often as you wish. It really helps to put your feelings and thoughts on paper. I sent emotional emails after my breakup and wish I hadn't. NC would have been better.
MattyTee Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 I've been there too - have probably 20 odd pages of writing in a journal. Expressing every emotion there is ... plus some odd thoughts that popped up. I actually did write a letter - sort of a "goodbye for now" letter saying that I needed some time and space to heal. It wasn't beggy or needy (at least I thought so), but honest and from the heart. I showed it to a few people, all of whom said it was perfect and I should send it. Posted it here (yeah, I'm open ) and got told that if I sent it I would never hear from her again basically If any females would give their perspective on it I'd be happy to re-post or point you to the original (I think it was all guys so far). Maybe even a "dumper" would see! Still not decided whether to send it.
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