Sureshot Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 Hi Everyone!, Just a brief intro about me, Im a 19 year old college student, I am confident with girls on initial flirting, good at making them laugh and teasing them, but never really pursue anything, never past a few dates. Ive always been conentrated on career goals and schooling. One problem I realize I have is an intimacy issue, Im afraid of letting people get close to me, Like i said, im dynamite at getting conversations going and flirting, hanging out and good for a first few dates, even with real hotties, but when a girl tries to get close to me, I get shy and back away (I know ive been the most confusing guy to some girls and I feel bad for it). Ive been on dates with so many different girls (for the record, im not a jerk, I dont sleep with them and move on to the next, not that kind of guy), And I usually have alot of girls hitting on me, And ive had so many girls stop talking to me because they want to pursue a relationship and I just kind of disappear and distance myself. I have a hard time talking to a girl about how i feel. Im afraid to to let someone in, I guess, because im afraid of getting hurt. Heres the situation, I met a girl this summer at a summer job, shes not like any other girl, totally unique and has the most addictive personality, I cant get enough of her, Im really realistic and skeptical of how "I" or "other" people describe someone else or share how they feel (i.e. a 14 year old girl thinking she found the love of her life becasue he sits next to her), but Im telling you guys, this girl is great! We have hung out a bit, both just to hang out to do things of common interest, and gone on a few dates, But I have such a hard time trying to show her that im interested, I cant help but act casual. I want to take it to the next step and start a relationship for once, but I cant. A few times Ive tried to tell her that She is incredible, but after two words, I get so nervous and change the conversation... I have never told a girl how I felt about her, never really cared enough to want to, so this is new for me. Im afraid to to let someone in, I guess, because im afraid of getting hurt. If anybody could give me some advice, how do I find a good moment to tell her, how do i start, And do i just suck it up and spill it out, or is there a secret finess method to telling her? Also, I feel like i might be taking to long to do this and that she is losing interest, if she is no longer interested, Anyway I could do it so that if it is a "no go" we can remain friends and stil hang out and not be akward? I have a great time with her, I could get over the issue and move on for the sake of friendship, but once I let her know how I feel, Im afraid she will avoid me to prevent akwardness. Thanks in advance, truly appreciated, Guys if you have similiar experiences, your input would be great, and ladies if you see my perspective and have advice, please share.
CaliGuy Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 You're overly anxious to start a relationship. That's where the pressure is. Just hang out with her, treat her well (without seeking her approval or spoiling her) and see where things go. When you start putting expectations on them it creates unnecessary pressure. Try a subtle hint like holding her hand or a kiss on the cheek and see how it goes.
Recommended Posts