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To talk to a friend that is having an affair


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Posted

Hello,

 

Im looking to talk to someone who understands. Ive been with my husband for 13 years and married for 7. The 5th year into my marriage I had an affair with OM who just happened to be my husbands best friend and Im still in love with the OM. Right now we are still continuinhg to have the affair. To make a long story short it has been a rollercoaster ride with the OM.

 

I love my husband but with the OM there is so much passion. I would like to talk to someone who is going through the same thing I am and who is married and still in love with the other person. And with out judgements please. You can e-mail me privately or add me to msn messenger. I continue the rest of my story.

 

Thanks

Posted

You have been with this OM for 8 years?

 

SELFISH!!

 

Divorce your husband, he deserves SO much better.

Posted

You'll probably get more sympathy in the OW/OM forum, this one is mostly frequented by people like your Husband.

Posted

You "love" your husband? If that is what you think love is... I pity you!

 

Just like Reboot said go to the OM/OW section. My bet is that they will still think your pathetic!

Posted

Cobra, why do you call this woman pathetic? That wasn't very nice or helpful to her.

 

I do agree though that she'll find the shoulder to lean on that she is looking for on another forum, but maybe not even OW/OM here. She is playing with too much fire.

 

Cheating with his best friend? Sounds like it will end like a made for TV movie. Lifetime channel.

Posted

You're inLUST not inlove. Big difference...

 

Double betrayal is going on right now and as I said on your other thread, divorce your husband because he deserves to have a woman in his life who will love him, stay faithful to him and not cheat on him with his bestfriend.

Posted
Cobra, why do you call this woman pathetic? That wasn't very nice or helpful to her.

 

I do agree though that she'll find the shoulder to lean on that she is looking for on another forum, but maybe not even OW/OM here. She is playing with too much fire.

 

Cheating with his best friend? Sounds like it will end like a made for TV movie. Lifetime channel.

 

I can read between the lines! The words written convey a tone... I respect poeple who have trouble deciding which way to go. But if you want to put one foot in and one foot out... I dont respect that! It says so much more about who you are as a person, that you dont think its a mistake... that you think its ok.

 

Yeah... that makes her pathetic. I'd say the same to her husband, because in 8 bloody years he should know, and if he does know then he should do something! Some poeple just suck!

Posted

You are not going through anything...you have created it.

Uncreate it. Face it. There IS NO EASY way out.

Would you want someone to do this to you?

This IS the worst kind of betrayal...but you can change, by deciding to be the person you have become -or- confess it and get help to change and rejoin the human race.

Posted

Get serious! This "problem" is one you have created. You cannot "undo" sleeping with his best friend for 60% of the time you were married. Your husband isn't going to forgive you, believe me.

 

Do you have children? Have you any clue who fathered them? This almost sounds like a hoax, or a script for a future Maury or Springer show.

 

Geeze.

Posted

I have to agree with the other posters--you'll get a more empathic set of readers in the OM/OW section.

 

But my two cents:

 

You need individual counseling to figure out exactly what drove you out of your husband's arms and into OM's.

 

It will be considerably more helpful if you discuss your relationships with an individual counselor honestly/openly. I'd ask the question as to whether you should separate from both men until you figure out what's going on in your head, let alone what should be done with either relationship.

 

Although only about 1/3 of relationships survive infidelity, having just gotten a divorce, I'd say don't make any assumptions about the future of your marriage, despite what's been said here.

 

You can read more about the ending of my marriage for a reference point.

 

Best of luck

 

LB

Posted

Note that it has been 2-3 years since the start of the affair since it began the fifth year into a seven year long marriage.

 

In general, I think cheating is a sign that one is with the wrong partner.

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