Msblueyes Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 :confused:As with each and everyone of you going through this, I think the hardest thing to do is maintain some semblance of saneness when we don't know from day to day what might trigger the next drama. I don't know if my bf is really leaving on Friday or just pulling my leg. I don't know anything for real anymore except I've almost lost my mind. I've found it hard to concentrate. I have no desire to go back to the gym yet, and I lost five pounds in the last five days. Although that was a goal; it wasn't supposed to happen like this. But, I have no appetite and when I did eat something last night, I was full half way through the half portion of my dinner. I'm sure many of you feel exactly the same. I took a couple of tylonel pms last night at 11 pm, had a few cigarettes, watched a movie I've seen a million times and at 12:30, was still awake. I turned the tv off and just layed my head on the pillow. It finally worked. Woke up & felt refreshed and then had to face my bf. I think that's the hardest. Having the person you're in love with around you but not knowing whether they're coming or going. I just payed rent, which took most of my paycheck. That's stressful. I will be eating oatmeal for the next month just to take care of the bills that he will no longer be sharing. I have a bit more anger over this as I've carried him when he couldn't pay anything, and now, feels like he owes me nothing. That's love. So, I'm trying to realize that I will be okay. Some days may be brighter than others, but I think the best thing to do is show some strength on my part. Someone else wrote a post on how to not look weak in spite of all the pain, just turn it around on the other person. That's what I'm going to do now. That's all I can. Thank you for listening. Thoughts?
Sanslatete Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Like the saying goes, there's no pain like loving someone who used to love you. I know the feeling of loving someone who stopped feeling the same back months ago. I've done the losing weight bit (2 stone) and gone on mental 25 mile bike rides to burn off my nervous energy. I've also done lots of sleeping pills, pain-killers and Prozac and stopped drinking anything with stimulants in it as I had trouble sleeping anyway. I've also barfed up in the sink in the mornings with stress and fainted in the hallway from lack of food. I'm sure this isn't the kind of love that's been in poems and song lyrics since the dawn of time, and what's it all worth in the end when nobody cares....or at least, the one who made you feel that way. I loved her more than words could ever capture, but in the end, all I got was depressed and malnourished.
carolinaboy Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 my ex gf and i broke up 2 1/2 months ago and she's doin well it appears. i opted to go NC since i was still having feelings for her, but since she's adjusted quickly she wants to hang and be casual. the NC is making me go nuts. i moved into a new place a month ago and just unpacked most of my boxes today! i just sleep in late and blow off plans. i drink a ton and hardly eat. it's not healthy. my gameplan is to get stronger mentally and physically and drop these bad "crutches." i def. sympathize though. the watching them move out of the place or gettin prepared to is the hardest. i hope things get better for you.
Author Msblueyes Posted October 3, 2007 Author Posted October 3, 2007 Yes, it's like, Friday is D-Day. He told me this is hard on him, too. We did talk last night and he just feels he needs a break and that it will be good for me too. My girlfriend who knows about the situation doesn't think he's wants to come back. I don't know. He'll be living with a friend of ours for a month, then ? I'm hoping the time apart is good for each of our heads. I know I love him, and he says he'll always love me. Everything is just too much to know what that means in the future. We have another mutual friend who I know is interested me and that worries me. I like this guy, as a friend, but certainly not romantically. And I don't want to fall prey to stupid fooling around with someone just because I'm lonely, especially someone we both are friends with because it wouldn't be healthy. If this friend comes Friday to hang out that's ok, but I don't want to cry to him because my actions would probably be interpreted wrongly. Just want to remain calm and not make any more of a fool of myself over this.
ijustwannago Posted October 8, 2007 Posted October 8, 2007 Just wondering how it went. hope you are well.
Author Msblueyes Posted October 8, 2007 Author Posted October 8, 2007 Just wondering how it went. hope you are well. I responded in Break up dreams? He didn't go. Not that I don't think he wants to, I do, it wasn't a permanent place for him. ok. However, I did leave him alone Friday night, went out with friends, came home a bit tipsy & DIDN'T BOTHER HIM!!!! YEAH!! Probably, because, I had my own fun. He called a number of times but you can't hear a cell in your purse in a club. I might have even turned it on silent. He went out Sat. night, by himself, after wanting to borrow my car. I said, No. And he left, I did not follow nor call. He called me after getting lost walking home & losing his cash. I think, that one point of maintaining sanity in this type of situation is: Go out & do things with your friends, or find some while you go out alone. Do not sit home & cry on Fri & Sat nights...for your other half to see you in misery is a mind game for them. They like it. If you go out, it blows them away, kind of like reverse psychology. They are expecting you to cry, scream, argue, call them 50 times....DO NOT...DO GO OUT...even if just to a movie...believe me, I still have a lot of cry in me, but it's worse when I'm around him feeling sad, because looking at him can make me burst into tears....so see if this helps?
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