JaneInVegas Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 I am so confused and mad, and I just don't know what to do ... Three years ago I decided to leave my husband, and started making plans for my daughter and I to get moved out. My daughter told me she had decided she wanted to live with her dad instead of me, which almost killed me. So instead I decided to try to make things work out, but it only got worse. I realized I was only making the 3 of us more miserable than we already had been (he has a temper, yelled at me a lot). I tried to talk Robin into moving with me, but she was determined to stay with her dad. She just started high school, and I've been trying to get it through her head she needs to work on her tardiness and attendance (her dad lets her slide on a lot of things so she won't 'run to momma' in his words) but it's been getting worse instead of better. So I have found out a few things ... my ex is getting drunk almost every night, and sometimes doesn't come home from partying until 8am, well after the time she leaves the apartment for school. He has become obsessed with the idea of moving out of state and taking her along, even though Robin and I are both vehemently opposed to it. This makes him angry, and he yells at her that she doesn't love him because she doesn't want to go where he wants to go. (my gawd, can someone's parenting skills really suck that bad?) This morning she was late ... again ... and when I asked her why, she said her dad got into her face yelling at her about wanting to move, and he made her cry and wouldn't let her leave for school, and when he finally exhausted himself he refused to drive her. They live about 2 miles from the high school, so she didn't get there until well into 3rd period. I have been dropping hints, letting her know how much better life would be here at my place, but she wants to stay with her dad in spite of all the problems. Why? ... I have no idea. She won't even discuss it with me. But if I *did* manage to get her, the school district over here is really bad (I live in the 2nd worse neighborhood in the city) and I don't think I could do that to her unless it was an absolute emergency. I don't have the money for a lawyer, and I'm very afraid of alienating my daughter ... but I can't stand the way he's treating her. We're still legally married, the $%@*$ refuses to get a lawyer, and I can't afford one (he makes 60k a year). Do I alienate my daughter by forcing the issue, and putting her into a totally crappy school? I'm so torn, I don't know what to do, this situation is killing me! Please any advise is much appreciated ... thanks for listening.
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