sanyy Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 I am a married women, but don't live with my husband. we never love'd each other. There was a void in my life and it was filled up by this MM. He came in my life as soothing wind.. I loved him like anything. But he had made his point clear from the day one, he was not emotionally involved. Though I felt many times that he was, but he said till the end he was not. His action spoke louder than his words, I guess he was. We never went physical though the attraction was huge. One fine day he told me he can not handle or manage his feelings and broke with me.. Its been an year now. I am still stuck there. I tried everything from counselling to NC to hobbies to all the stuff mentioned in books, but could not stop thinking about past. It still hurts.. I had hopes of him coming back and used to break NC many times.. used to wish him occasion( texting him) but in last one year he never broke NC. he replied for my wishes for his b'day text and few times more on few occasions.. But he din't wish me on my b'day.. ( When we were in terms, he had made me feel as if he would make my b'day most special one..but when it actually it came, we had broken up and he din't even bother to wish me..) Is there any hope he would come back to me.. Though after him not wishing on my b'day yesterday, I have realised may be "not". May be I don't even exists for him. I know he loved me a day.. He is very nice guy. He loved his family like anything.. will he ever contact me, even as a friend.. will he ever talk to me.
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 I am a married women, but don't live with my husband. we never love'd each other. There was a void in my life and it was filled up by this MM. He came in my life as soothing wind.. I loved him like anything. But he had made his point clear from the day one, he was not emotionally involved. Though I felt many times that he was, but he said till the end he was not. His action spoke louder than his words, I guess he was. We never went physical though the attraction was huge. One fine day he told me he can not handle or manage his feelings and broke with me.. Its been an year now. I am still stuck there. I tried everything from counselling to NC to hobbies to all the stuff mentioned in books, but could not stop thinking about past. It still hurts.. I had hopes of him coming back and used to break NC many times.. used to wish him occasion( texting him) but in last one year he never broke NC. he replied for my wishes for his b'day text and few times more on few occasions.. But he din't wish me on my b'day.. ( When we were in terms, he had made me feel as if he would make my b'day most special one..but when it actually it came, we had broken up and he din't even bother to wish me..) Is there any hope he would come back to me.. Though after him not wishing on my b'day yesterday, I have realised may be "not". May be I don't even exists for him. I know he loved me a day.. He is very nice guy. He loved his family like anything.. will he ever contact me, even as a friend.. will he ever talk to me. Huh?? why dont you live with your H are you seperated? If your so unhappy why dont you divorce first and persue a single man? Why go for a married man? That kinda makes him look like a scumbag in alot of people's books. Beware he may not love you, all you may be is a booty call. Sorry. Why not persue a single man as a single woman. I dont get it. Get divorced before you start sleeping around and having emotional affairs and whatnot. Arent you worth more than sleeping with another man who's also married. You could be potentially contributing to the destruction of his marriage.
upto_here Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 I am a married women, but don't live with my husband. we never love'd each other. There was a void in my life and it was filled up by this MM. He came in my life as soothing wind.. I loved him like anything. But he had made his point clear from the day one, he was not emotionally involved. Though I felt many times that he was, but he said till the end he was not. His action spoke louder than his words, I guess he was. We never went physical though the attraction was huge. One fine day he told me he can not handle or manage his feelings and broke with me.. Its been an year now. I am still stuck there. I tried everything from counselling to NC to hobbies to all the stuff mentioned in books, but could not stop thinking about past. It still hurts.. I had hopes of him coming back and used to break NC many times.. used to wish him occasion( texting him) but in last one year he never broke NC. he replied for my wishes for his b'day text and few times more on few occasions.. But he din't wish me on my b'day.. ( When we were in terms, he had made me feel as if he would make my b'day most special one..but when it actually it came, we had broken up and he din't even bother to wish me..) Is there any hope he would come back to me.. Though after him not wishing on my b'day yesterday, I have realised may be "not". May be I don't even exists for him. I know he loved me a day.. He is very nice guy. He loved his family like anything.. will he ever contact me, even as a friend.. will he ever talk to me. OH sanyy ...i'm so sorry and really feel for you ..you sound really upset ..and there might be hope after that...!! by his reaction from what you told i think he still cared but he doesn't want to give you any false hope..the end of the lne you are m ,he is m ..and he loves his family he will not sacrified his family for you,.the best thing is to move on and let go..i know you said you have tried but obviously is may not enough ....there no hope in this kind of R ..its good you get out and be glad may be the m you are right now is just a bit bored thats why you go and find someone outside your m ..as you said action speak louder than words ..he is not worth it..try to work it out with you H if it doesn't get out ..talk tru to him ..be honest with him..only you know best..what is best for you...i am in not much different from you but i am now moving on and i don't want to be harsh on myself i used to think there is no love in our R ,in this M but it is believe me otherwise you won't stay until this day..this is my trick nut it might help you a bit if you willing to do it..everytime i think of the mm ..i try to delete the thought ,walkaway ..thinking of something else..100 times a day he popped up in the thought block it out try to keep busy..especially with your H ..the love of him for you it will help ..as long as you honest with each other..to win the thought in your mind is the hardest thing to do but you must do it ...for your sake...
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 Getting out of your marriage might be a good first step. Why are you still married?
woe_is_me Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 I am a married women, but don't live with my husband. we never love'd each other. There was a void in my life and it was filled up by this MM. He came in my life as soothing wind.. I loved him like anything. But he had made his point clear from the day one, he was not emotionally involved. Though I felt many times that he was, but he said till the end he was not. His action spoke louder than his words, I guess he was. We never went physical though the attraction was huge. One fine day he told me he can not handle or manage his feelings and broke with me.. Its been an year now. I am still stuck there. I tried everything from counselling to NC to hobbies to all the stuff mentioned in books, but could not stop thinking about past. It still hurts.. I had hopes of him coming back and used to break NC many times.. used to wish him occasion( texting him) but in last one year he never broke NC. he replied for my wishes for his b'day text and few times more on few occasions.. But he din't wish me on my b'day.. ( When we were in terms, he had made me feel as if he would make my b'day most special one..but when it actually it came, we had broken up and he din't even bother to wish me..) Is there any hope he would come back to me.. Though after him not wishing on my b'day yesterday, I have realised may be "not". May be I don't even exists for him. I know he loved me a day.. He is very nice guy. He loved his family like anything.. will he ever contact me, even as a friend.. will he ever talk to me. yeah he might come back...then dump u again... then he might come back again..and dump u again ... so romantic!
JNLVegas Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 I feel you girl. I am going through NC right now and it sucks. Mine is supposed to be only for a while (while he goes through his divorce) but who knows, not knowing anything...it just kills me.
whichwayisup Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 He is not going to come back to you....He realized whatever feelings he might have had for you were completely inappropriate seeing as he is a married man. He did the right thing by ending it before it got very serious. He obviously loves his wife and is honouring his marriage vows. It's been a year, he isn't going to come to you...Sorry, but him replying to your messages doesn't mean too much, so don't read into that. He was probably just being nice and polite. Please, do yourself a favour, accept that it IS over, get back into therapy and do your best to get over him. If you don't, you'll be wasting your life away, pining over some MM who isn't interested in you.
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