Amy12345678 Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 I know, it sounds crazy, and I didn't think it was possible until it happened to me. I love my boyfriend, who I've been with for almost 2 years now, very very much and I want to be with him. But I can't get my ex out of my head, we broke up 3 years ago and I still love him, he moved away for a while and although we still talked it wasn't very often. When we did talk though it was for hours, we'd lose track of time, we were still such good friends, but then I'd think about him constantly for a week afterwards. A couple of months ago he moved back and we started taling much more regularly, and I needed a lift and I there was no-one I could ask so I gave him a ring and he took me home. We went down to my local for drink just to catch up and things, I felt it would have been rude not to after he'd gone out of his way to do my a favour. Anyway, we both drank too much to drive, although we were by no means drunk, so I let him crash at my place (it was that or a taxi, which both ways, would have been expensive). Nothing happened and he slept in the spare room, but we stayed up until about 6am talking and well, that night i fell in love with him all over again. I couldn't get him out of my head and when he came to see me on his birthday (my dad was over at my place) and my dad had a go at him (they've never really gotten along) and my ex basically didn't know what to say to my dad so he left and it was then when I realised just how dissappointed I was, that I was too disappointed. I decided that I had to cut him out of my life. I was torn between 2 people and whatever happened I could never have both so I was always going to hurt. It's been a little over 2 weeks now, I miss him so much. I think about him all the time, i sometimes sit and stare at my phone for hours willing him to ring, and i know that if i were to ring him everything could go back to how it was, we could be the best of friends again and all that's simply one phonecall away, but i can't do that, i promised myself i wouldn't, so instead of ringing him and tell him how i feel or asking him to cheer me up, i come on here and try to get it out. I don't really know what else there is that i can do, i know it will get better, i've done it before i just know that i can't ever ever see him agian no matter how much time passes becasue i don't think these feels are ever going to go away. I love my boyfriend i know it might seem like i don;t but i do and we're happy and very open, he knows everything, he's been amazing, he knows i'm hurting and he's done everthing he can to help. But there's no way he can hold my hand though this, and i don't expect him to, in time i'll get over my ex and maybe one day in maybe 40 years i'll be able to walk past him in the street and not even recognise him and even if i had done i wouldn't have cared, maybe i could smile and say hi and walk on and not give him a second thought. Though realistically i know that day will never come, but i can hope. I really doubt anyone will have read this, it was more for the benifit of writting it than anything else. I hope i've done the right thing, i hope i will get over this, tell me what you think. Thanks
AriaIncognito Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 For the record, I read it. I'm not sure what to say about it. A lot of people will probably think 'gee, some problem, i can't find 1 to love and she's got 2' but it's not so simple of a situation to be in. Your boyfriend knows that you are still IN LOVE with your ex, or he knows that you are still FRIENDS with him? Big difference. How is your bf handling the fact that his gf has feelings for anyone other than him? I'd say all you can do, is choose one, and go with it. Whichever that may be. Bear in mind that if you choose one and it doesn't work out don't expect the other to be waiting. It's a tough spot, I'm sure. I don't envy you. Well, I might envy feeling loved, but well, i don't envy the situation :-) Cut one of them loose and send him to one of us great LS ladies :-)
norajane Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 Why did you and your ex break up? And why does your dad not like him? I suspect you're idealizing and romanticizing what you and your ex had together. The reality of being with your ex might not be what you imagine it could be. If you can't put it away, then you have to break up with your boyfriend. It's totally unfair to him for you to be with him while being in love with your ex. Your bf deserves to be with someone who feels the same way about him that you do for your ex.
Author Amy12345678 Posted October 4, 2007 Author Posted October 4, 2007 Thanks for the replys, my boyfriend knows i'm in love with my ex, he didn't take it well, obviously, though to be honest i think he always knew i felt something for him, and yeah i guess i have aq very selective, glorified memory, i know i have and i don't want to get back with him, i just want to stop feeling this way. I know i have to pick, which is why i cut my ex out, i just miss him, sometimes i wonder if part of it's that i see so little of him that when i do it's really great. i know it wouldn't stay like that though, i know him too well. We split up becasue we never really had the time, we both had exams and were stressed and neither set of parents liked the other person he spent his spare time at church (he's christian, i'm atheist, his mum hated that). We just didn't see much of each other, and he stopped making the effort. My dad doesn't like him becasue he thinks he's an idiot, they got into a bit of a fright becasue, being lads, they had a BB gun fight and accidently someone hit me dad and everyone else was too scared of him and wouldn't admit it so he took the blame, they just havn't got on since then. I know this isn't fair on my boyfriend, i really want to be with him and i love him, i just want to get over my ex.
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