NedFlanders Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Ok, here goes. I am a guy and my closest friend the past year is a girl. She means the world to me. I would do anything in the world for her. I wish there would be more between us, but there cant be and I accept that. Heres my problem. I asked her to do something for me that would mean everything to me if she did it. Something that she could have easily done, but wouldnt do it. Almost like a who cares attitude when I asked or as if I was not serious about it. So my problem is should I tell her how bad I am hurt over it. I am worried that if I do, that when we get over this little "problem" there will always be some kind of tension between us. I suffer from depression, and this friend is everything to me. If I lose her I feel as if I have nothing left. Should I talk to her about how bad I am hurt. I swear I hurt so much that its probably better to have no one in your life than to feel this way.
tanbark813 Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Your post is a little vague. What exactly did you want her to do for you?
Author NedFlanders Posted October 2, 2007 Author Posted October 2, 2007 Sorry for being vague. Basically three days out of the week we are able to spend the entire day together, and just recently she changed those days now we will hardly ever see each other. She changed those days so she could spend time with a friend of hers. So I asked her if she would keep one of her regular days so we could spend some time together, and as much as she knew it meant to me she still wouldnt do it. I know this may sound silly, but trust me, to me it doesnt feel silly.
Timberlane Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 Well, yeah, tell her you can't see her as often now and that you are bummed. If she laughs it off, then I guess you aren't such good friends then, are you? Sorry. Also, Ned, my female friend would constantly tell me about other guy friends she suspected of having ulterior motives to the friendship, ie., romantic ones. She would see them less if she suspected something or even stop seeing them entirely. It must have happened ten times last year. So if you think you are hiding this want of something else, the jig may be up. You can always ask.
tanbark813 Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 Sorry for being vague. Basically three days out of the week we are able to spend the entire day together, and just recently she changed those days now we will hardly ever see each other. She changed those days so she could spend time with a friend of hers. So I asked her if she would keep one of her regular days so we could spend some time together, and as much as she knew it meant to me she still wouldnt do it. I know this may sound silly, but trust me, to me it doesnt feel silly. That sounds really needy, man. Even my closest friend I wouldn't expect to reserve three entire days out of the week to spend with me. To be honest, it sounds a little odd. Don't you have a job or school or something?
Blackberry Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 I think she is breaking away from the friendship a bit (or a lot.) I mean, she knows you like her as more than a friend, and this is obvious from your post. She needs some space from you, and possibly the friendship with you has run its course. It is possible she wants to date (or is dating someone already) and if she is, she won't be spending near as much time with you. You just have to accept that you won't be spending as much time with her. You need to let go; the space will be good for you to make the break and allow yourself to heal and hopefully start dating yourself.
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