Why does he always run back to her?

[steph11]

OMG!!!! Anna is working with me at the same video store! Talk about awkward.............at first.

 

I am dating someone new, he is super nice. I met him at the races. He is a good guy. Cute in a bad ass sort of way. I am not in love yet, but we are having fun. I love the way he laughs, and he makes me laugh.

 

 

But ya know what? She really is nice. I like working with her. It is hard to see him when he stops in and is all sweet to her. He is civil to me, we say hi. and thats about it. BUT, this is the wierd thing, I LIKE HER.

 

It was so awkward at first. Then we started talking. She swears she NEVER dated him or crossed a line when we were dating. I belive her. She is not the type to lie. Not at all. We have fun working together, but we never talk about him to much. She is funny, we laugh alot, and I am no lesbo, but she is beautiful. With out a stich of makeup on, hair in a pony tail, she STILL is beautiful. She tells me that I have the greatist wardrobe ever, she loves all my clothes. I would give her some, but she is like a size 2, and hey, I am not. HA HA. But it makes me feel better knowing that I can outdress her anytime. And yes I tell her that!! We laugh our asses off. We like the same tv shows, we are alike in some ways, but she has him. I get jelous still at times. Like if he drops her off and I see him kiss her, and i mean really kiss her. That still hurts, but I turn away and dont let her know it hurts.

 

 

It still hurts to see him come and get her, he treats her sooooooo much better than he ever did me. We never would have lasted anyways I guess. I cant get over how different he is to her. He will come and get her car, take it wash it, do the maintence stuff and leave his pride and joy truck for her to drive. He NEVER let me drive that truck and she takes it when ever she wants. We had a foot of snow last nite and sure enough, he came and took her car and left his truck for her.

 

They just fit I guess. I know, I still get jelous, but after getting to know her and what I know of him, They do fit. They look good together. I hate to say that but they do. She has this way about her that he just turns to mush. I get it now that he was ALWAYS hers, I was just something to do till he got her back, but I like her.

 

It still bothers me to think of them sexually, but hey,I am having sex again too. A told me that he never could forgive me cheating on him. Fair enough I guess. I wonder, if I hadnt, would we still be together?

 

I guess he is the ONLY guy she has ever had sex with. I tease her about waiting soooo ****ing long to get laid, and she laughs. We both do, that just seems strange to me. she has a great guy who adores her, and yes, no matter what he and I went through, he is a nice guy, he just never loved me, he always loved her. Still does from what I see. He has had many chances to cheat on her and he has not. Not once. He still flirts but he never makes moves on girls anymore.

 

But getting back to her, yes, she does wear pearls everyday, they were her grandmothers. a while back someone said she sounds to good to be true, she is. She is nice, she is trustworthy, she is becoming a good friend. So maybe he and I breaking up was no so bad. I like her, she likes me, we like to work the same shifts so we can watch movies and laugh. She told me that she didnt know what to think of me, but now that we are getting to know each other so well she is GLAD she met me!! She thinks that I am cool and fun. SHe loves how I dress, she likes my dirty jokes, well thats what I have been up to.

 

Am I over him? Not totally, but I am getting there.

[sally4sara]

I wouldn't look at it like she is better than you. You never stood a chance if he already "knew she was the one". He sounds like a jerk for not being up front about this. But you need to realize that you have great qualities too, maybe even better qualities than she has, he was just never going to see them. He already had his mind made up.

You didn't lose anything but time here. And as far as great qualities, at least you went into this honestly. Thats more than he can say.

[steph11]

I dont think she is better than me at all. Not at all. I am a great person. I am smart, I do good in school, have alot of friends. So does she, but that doesnt make either of us better than the other. We are BOTH good.

 

We are both decent people. Just very different, she is not much of a party person, she will go but does not drink that often, I LOVE to party, in fact I have called her a few times to come and get ME when I was to drunk to drive! She came and gave me **** about it, but she got me home. I would do the same for her or anyone else.

 

I think he tried to move on from her, its just that his heart did'nt. We have talked (he and I) and he is truly sorry for how this all hurt me. But it is in the past. I think in the long run, we will be friends. Anna doesnt get all creeped out if he and I talk. So that is kind of nice. No ugly stuff.

 

Should he have been up front about his feelings? Yea, if he understood them at the time we started dating. I dont think he did. Its just that when she called him for help and he SAW her, and they were ALONE and talked that HE realized what all his friends could see for a long time, he loves her. (his exact words) Thats ok. I will be fine. He was honest with me once he realized how he felt. He realy is NOT a bad guy at all. I have learned alot from this:

 

1) dont fall to fast. Get to know the person you are dating, really know them before you give your heart. And that takes time.

 

2) LISTEN to his friends, if they are warning you about an ex, THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT! (his friends ALL knew he was in love with her, they would flirt with her to piss him off, and it did, they all like her alot and they like me too, they saw what was going to happen)

 

3) Dont judge the other woman until you know the whole truth.

 

4) Dont CHEAT on your guy!!!!

 

I hated her at first, but then my feelings started to mellow and we ended up working together. She did NOT cheat with him. We get along fine, I know it sounds odd, but we do. Why? Because one nite after closing we orderd in a pizza and talked it all out.

 

I dont want to be a 'blame the guy for being an *******' person, it will make me bitter and ugly. I want to forgive, which I have and move on and be happy. I am dating a great guy now, will it turn to love? Who knows, but I know I will find a love like A and A have. It will just take time I guess, in the mean time I am working hard at school and just living my life. I am only 19, I am not going to let that relationship and its horrid end define me and my future, that would be foolish.

 

I am proud of myself, I like NOT feeling like ****. I like that the three of us are ok. I did not like the strong awful hatefull feelings I was having. So I chose to accept that he loves her, she loves him. There was nothing I could have done to change that ever. So what? Thats what dating is about. Finding the right person, he just was not the right person for me.

 

BTW, I mean it, he IS a great guy. handsome, good work ethic, moms a drunk bitch, but his dad is divorcing her now. OWns outright 80 acres of land, (gift from dad and grandfather, his family owns ALOT of land) Has a nice truck, and a beater car, snomobiles, 4 wheelers, he is polite, fun, funny, can be incredibly sweet, the best kisser/bed partner I have EVER known, his kisses are like heaven, and the way he makes love, god I miss that. (Jason has alot to learn,(new guy) He was soooooooo warm and sooooo good at THAT!! If she dumped him again and I had a shot at him? I would take him back in a heart beat, but I know that will never happen, but I would like just one more nite of sex with him, I mean WOW!!!! That part I miss ALOT, he just knows how to please a woman.

 

What is so funny is that he has been with ALOT of girls, and he picks Anna, the virgin(not any more, I know they are having sex). Why would he want to have to teach her? I dont get that, so a guys point of view would be nice here. I tease Anna about that, she gets all embarassed and tells me to eat ****. HA HA.