Hanna336 Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 to them? We didnt natually deteriorate. the suddeness of what im about to write caused me so many emotional problems. Imagine if you will the how a six yr old would treat a girl he doesnt like anymore. How can he turn me into a animal is his mind like when during a discussion he angrily said theres no reason to feel hurt if he was cheating because I have food and shelter (like a dog) or that I shouldnt even be allowed in his car because he finds my hair strands all over the seats(like a dog)? How can he tell with such hatred in his voice that he never loved me while im sobbing and asking him if he didnt want me if he could at least be kind, if not for me for our daughter. Every day I wander and look around at everything in a post-apocolyptic daze. Yes post-apocolyptic is the best description. I have done things I never thought I would do like one night after he said something cruel I went to the late night mini market, purchased two dozen eggs and proceeded to pelt his house. The weird part was that it felt so good. I felt so alive running through his backyard at 2 a.m. When I got back to my jeep I was actually laughing because on the radio happened to be playing an old song by judas priest called "breaking the law" Also, I have reached a level of desperation I never thought Id reach. Always thought I had more pride than I actually do. How humiliating to grapple for wrinkle creams and stuff in desperation. If its not about looks why do we feel it is? Although im the more attractive one I look in the mirrow and see a hideous woman. But I only have fine lines begining and guys in their 20s are still asking me out.I have even done some modeling no not supermodel and I dont primp but stuff like the cover of high times. And for artists. I am a sculpted fountain somewhere in w.v.! please understand the context of what im saying because im trying to convince myself you see. Im really very modest and humble. I wear levis and tshirts, drive an old jeep wrangler and listen to rock and roll. I have been hanging on for more than one yr.Hi, my name is Claudia. I have been trying to understand. Glad I found this place. I will write more later but I needed to vent.
niceguy27 Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Sorry to hear that your feeling like that. Everyone vents in their own ways. Its so hard to tell yourself that your better than them while you still have such strong feelings for them. Being active doing something every single day will help to keep you focused and alleviate some of your pain. After some time doing this, the pain gets less and less until you will smile instead of cry when you think of them. Post on here anything you like. A lot of people on here experience similiar feelings too so it helps out a bit.
marlena Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Claudia, It was really fun reading your post. I couldn't help chuckling over the egg scene! You are the Bridget Jones o LS and by the way welcome. We all come in here and vent so you are in good company. No, there is absolutely no excuse for inflicting cruelty to another person...especially someone you once had feelings for. So, if you ask me, he deserved more than just a bashing with a couple of dozen eggs ... Seriously, he is not eorth it. You can't see this now. It will take a while but when yuo do it is then that you will have a true "apocalypse"! I can guarantee this.
Bosiell Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Sorry to see the situation you are in Hannah. It never ceases to amaze me how some people can treat others and be so completly heartless. I would never claim to a "perfect" guy, But I shake my head at some stories I hear of how some men behave to women. It sadness me as I know how I could never do that and I am bitter that they dont deserve the love they have and abused. As for the revenge story, that was good I remember from many years ago, I was sooo close to trashing an exs car when I saw it outside a hotel, I knew she was in there with a friend of mine. I was so jealous beyond belief. Fortunately I had way to much to drink and ended up collapsing in the hotel garden instead! Good job really, she wouldve known it was me. Anyway, hell yeah there is nothing better than a good vent. Vent away Genuinely hope you get through this soon. Time will heal. Keep posting and take care.
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