JNLVegas Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 I used to text my MM all the time and he used to text me too. However since we are doing this NC thing...I am going crazy. It has been one week and I feel like I am going to text him, how should I control the urge? The NC was his idea, while he is going through his divorce. Said he neede time to do things the right way.
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 How to control the urge? Keep reminding yourself that NC was his idea, and any contact you make against his wishes will not be met the way you want it to be.
Cinabon Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Shut your phone off. I went through what your going through to a certain extent. I found myself looking at my phone all the time. I found that shutting the phone off alot of the time. Helped me not to look at it. And wait for the text that wouldnt come. Best of luck to you
passionateconfusion Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Write ... journal what you want to say so you can get it out of your system, just don't send it. When you are out of NC then you can decide if you want to share it with him so he see's what your jouorney has been like.
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 JNL, I went through a phase of actually DESPISING my phone. I would pick it up, look at it, no message, put it down. Switch it off. Switch it on. Check if it worked. Text myself to see texts were coming through. Leave it in the house and then run back and check if there was a text. It was just horrible. I'm not going to say leave your phone alone because I know how hard it is. But the best thing I did was do things that didnt involve me looking at my phone too much. Going to the cinema, being with friends, swimming - anything where my phone wasn't the focus, I would do that. And in a good way, focussing on other things made NC more bearable. Dont text him. You've agreed to NC. Respect that. I did. He texted eventually, and that day, I hadn't even looked at my phone I was so busy!
Author JNLVegas Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 Thanks, I have done the same things. I find myself staring at my phone "willing" it to ring. How long b4 he text you?
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Thanks, I have done the same things. I find myself staring at my phone "willing" it to ring. How long b4 he text you? Oh, there's been different times when I have initiated NC, and once when he has which took a week. The circumstances were very different to yours though and I wouldnt take that as any sort of rule of thumb. Train yourself with your phone. Force yourself to leave it behind when you go shopping or maybe when you go to work. It will still be there when you get back. It takes a lot of tenacity, but so does the situation that you are in at the moment. I will never say "Text him!" if he has requested NC. I never did, although it was hard. I wanted him to know I respected his request. And he did know. He also respected my requests from time to time and I respected him for that too.
Author JNLVegas Posted October 2, 2007 Author Posted October 2, 2007 I really do wish I could leave my phone behind, but It has to stay on 24/7 because of my job...I am always on call. I don't have a home phone so it is the only way to reach me. I just saw him on the TV News (he is also in the same line of work, and gets called out to major crimes).
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 I really do wish I could leave my phone behind, but It has to stay on 24/7 because of my job...I am always on call. I don't have a home phone so it is the only way to reach me. I just saw him on the TV News (he is also in the same line of work, and gets called out to major crimes). That must be hard for you JNL, seeing him on the news, its pretty intrusive into your recovery at this moment. What I will say is I would keep the details to a minimum. This is an anonymous forum but people watch the news and I would possibly keep details like this to yourself...you just never know...
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