MartianChronicles Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 ... and i'm not kiddin', folks... you might remember me. i'm the one who was asked by her ex bf to be friends with benefit, then got an email from ex, where he wrote about the fantastic weekend he spent in bed with a girl. well, just for an update: - i've been having such a terrible time at work i'm actually too tired to even write a few lines in a decent english (remember i'm italian), but not too tired to read your posts - met two nice guys online. dated both of them. dumped the first (boring). spent a lovely weekend with the second, and of course had sex. i'm a single girl. i can do that, can't i? - got a phone call from ex bf, saying he would love to come to my place just to bring me the clothes i'd left at his house and stuff. i thought: well, why not? so here's how it was. meeting my ex after two months wasn't that bad at all. kissed him on a cheek, was kind (well, sort of) to him as much as i could, and so on. my ex lives in milan, which is actually a 4-hour-drive from my hometown. he arrived of friday night and spent the night at my place, but not with me. i can imagine he would have liked to (he always said he had the best sex ever with me), but unfortunately enough i have a comfortable sofa in my living room. the only thing which upset me a bit was a casual question he asked just before driving back to milan: him - are you happy? me - uh, no, not at all. why? him - why aren't you unhappy? you want to come back and be with me again? me - man, you dumped me. you are not going to be back with me, so why the hell are you asking? him - because i'm stupid yes, he is.
lino Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 He sounds immature as well as stupid. I find it a bit strange someone from Italy is posting on this message board because the cultural difference between Italy & USA is very large. American & Australian culture is very similar so I find this website very helpful. My parents are Italian migrants who brought me up in a very Italian way so I know the large cultural difference. I have been to Italy 3 times & talk often with my relatives there which also has taught me the difference between the 2 countries. Do you find the advice you see here helpful? I'm just curious
Spinderella Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Did you mean, "I will never get back with you" or "you dont want to get back with me"? Either way, yes he is immature, as the last poster said. Sounds like he was looking for an ego boost for some reason. Is he the type to drive 4 hours for an ego boost? Perhaps he thought he would get sex aswell. He sounds like an idiot. Youre better off. But what have the other dates got to do with it? What happened to the guy you slept with? And of course youre allowed to do that, but, for your sake, if its a recurring problem that you sleep with people before you know how they feel about you, or if they only want a fwb situation, then it might be better to wait until you feel good about where things are first.
Author MartianChronicles Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 @lino: yes, everything i read here is helpful and important to me. feelings are the same no matter where you are, and stupid and immature men are the same in italy as in the us... @spinderella: well, he sounded like "are you unhappy just because you can't get back with me?" i am unhappy, yes, mostly because i feel lonely and... empty inside (hope i made myself clear). i have no idea whether he was making fun of me or he only wanted an ego boost. sure he expected sex from me. 4 hours driving in a car, and no sex... poor man and... the other dates have really nothing to do with the situation, but much to do with my self esteem.
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