googlezap Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 I keep on reading about how girls sometimes get all confrontational over little things just to test a guy's backbone. I was talking to this one girl and we were joking about how she has a bad memory. I made one joke about how she would probably forget to return a book I had lent to her, and she just freaked out, telling me that that was uncalled for. Was she gaming?
monkey00 Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 I keep on reading about how girls sometimes get all confrontational over little things just to test a guy's backbone. I was talking to this one girl and we were joking about how she has a bad memory. I made one joke about how she would probably forget to return a book I had lent to her, and she just freaked out, telling me that that was uncalled for. Was she gaming? Some girls do test a guy to see how much backbone he has. Often more mature women rarely do that to a guy. In your case, it sounds like she could have been offended by your comment or perhaps it was a playful response. But again in the human language, to interpret, it's not what they say but how they say it.
maynard Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 she probably was. i think girls are always testing us. in my experience, if a girl freaks out a bit over absolutely nothing, a good, "knock it off" goes a long way.
glittergurl Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 That's exactly the type of girls you want to avoid. There are definitely freaks out there who take offence about everything, test guys about stupid little details, and have a gigantic ego.
Author googlezap Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 I've known her for a few months, and she hasn't been like that in the past, generally pretty easygoing. That's why I'm wondering if it's a test. I don't want a gamer.
glittergurl Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 I wouldn't stress about it. Although I do find her reaction very strange, even if she was "joking", it really makes no sense to me; and I'm female. Maybe she was PMSing.
amaysngrace Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 I don't think she was testing you. I think it's okay to joke about yourself but sometimes it's offensive when others call you out on your weaknesses. I think you did that to her. Not only that but you didn't lend her the book. If anything it was a test of "niceness" and you failed. You should apologize.
Author googlezap Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 No the thing is, we were joking about her memory and she was laughing about it. THEN I mentioned the book, which I had already lent to her, and was like "Soo I won't be getting the book back for a while (while laughing)", and she just blew up about how I knew she had problems returning stuff (which I did not). I kept on asking her what was wrong, what had happened in the past etc etc. And she kept avoiding my question and then told me she had to go.
glittergurl Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 I wouldn't apologize. You did nothing wrong. She decided to take it the wrong way for some strange reason, and maybe there's a whole background story we don't know about (including you). Time will tell, maybe. In the mean time, I wouldn't stress about it.
amaysngrace Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 THEN I mentioned the book, which I had already lent to her, and was like "Soo I won't be getting the book back for a while (while laughing)", and she just blew up about how I knew she had problems returning stuff (which I did not). Yeah it's like I said it's okay for her to bust on herself but she sees your busting on her as criticism. It's her hang-up, no doubt, but you should say you're sorry. You didn't mean anything by it but she seems like someone you can't joke with too much about her weaknesses cause she'll take it personally. So now you know for next time.
maynard Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 No the thing is, we were joking about her memory and she was laughing about it. THEN I mentioned the book, which I had already lent to her, and was like "Soo I won't be getting the book back for a while (while laughing)", and she just blew up about how I knew she had problems returning stuff (which I did not). I kept on asking her what was wrong, what had happened in the past etc etc. And she kept avoiding my question and then told me she had to go.there is your problem, imo. she blew up and you then condoned her behavior. by asking over and over again what's wrong, you were really apologizing for HER behavior! im not trying to knock you, its easier said than done, i know but the specifics of the fight are secondary to how you reacted to her. this is classic behavior! she gets weird, you apologize and she pulls away.
Author googlezap Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 Well I was busting her at first as well. Anyways she is very smart, much smarter than me (went to a better school etc etc.), so I don't think it's any kind of insecurity about her memory . And hey, I did ask her to explain what was wrong and she just ignored it. I did apologize, but I'm wishing I did not.
Author googlezap Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 and another thing, it's happened once before (always on the phone) where I asked her something and she just got pissed. But then a few weeks later I pretty much asked her the exact same question in person and she had absolutely no problem with it.
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