Shy Guy Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Alright... Let's see how should I start this? I'll start by saying I'm 17, a senior (12th grade) in high school of course. I like this girl who is 15 and is a freshmen (9th grade). It'd probably be best for me just to tell the whole story. I'm really confused about this situation and am trying to seek help from the experts. My knowledge is very limited on these kinds of things. XP To start things off, It started about 2 1/2 weeks ago. I had gotten my Wisdom teeth out on a Friday and was out until the following Wednesday. When I came back that day, I was informed by my teacher I had a field trip so I went on it. Around lunch time I had no money, of course the teacher offered me some money to buy some lunch, but I didn't take it. So there I was sitting alone at a two seat table in Burger King, playing Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga on my Nintendo DS Lite. This girl (Whose on crutches due to having a paralyzed leg) comes and sits down with me. She asks me if she can buy me something to eat. I say no because I hate to take people's money. So I sit there playing my DS, she then offers AGAIN... I then tell her my jaw was sore from my Wisdom Teeth extraction (Which it was). After that she offers to buy me a drink or a milkshake, I refuse her again, and she persists a few more times. She finally gives up. We sat there, and she asked me why I didn't talk much. I told her I usually don't talk unless I'm spoken to or have something to say. She agrees and say that's the same for her. We didn't really talk too much after that though. She seems like a very shy girl, and I myself and very shy. But I started to like her for her kindness towards me. After that, I helped her finish her field trip guide thing on the rest of the trip. The next day, I see her in the other class I have with her. I ask her to borrow her notes (to get caught up for all the days I missed), I borrow them over the weekend and return them on Monday. On Tuesday of that week, I asked her if she had any IMs (Such as MSN, AIM, ect...). She told me she only had MySpace IM, so I asked if I could get it. (I didn't have a MySpace so I made one later that night... XD) The next day, she wasn't there. On Thursday she returned, and I asked where she was. She told me she was sick and felt bad the day before too. The then pulled out of her pocked a piece of paper with her e-mail address on it. She told me to try to find her MySpace using that. Like anyone would, I found it with a bit of searching. I added her as a friend and she PM'd me on it asking who I was. Of course I told her, and we PM'd each other for a PM or two until she had to go. Oddly enough though... She never added me as a friend. Nor am I able to IM her on MySpace IM because of that. Now she has her MySpace set to allowing only PMs from friends, so this confuses me. The following Tuesday, I spoke to her before lunch (As she was getting into the elevator to go up). I asked her if she would be interested in going and seeing a movie with me (So I could get to know her some). She told me that she wasn't sure if her parents would let her without them going to. Then the door started to shut but she smiled and waved bye to me. (I didn't go up because I don't think we're allowed to.) The next day I asked her if she had the chance to ask her parents if she could go, she told me that they said she couldn't. =\ Then last Friday, I said since she couldn't go out to a movie I asked her if I could get her phone number. She said it was her parents phone and wasn't sure if she could. I didn't know what to do at this point so in the 2nd class I had with her, I wrote down my number and gave it to her. (Though I doubt she'll call me as she hasn't yet.) We also had a pep rally Friday, she sat by herself, like she usually does. (She never talks to anybody unless it's someone asking about her leg or she asking them about classwork or something) I would of sat with her but I had already taken my seat and was with my friends. =\ Now I'm a little clueless on what to do next. She seems interested somewhat, but I'm not sure. Anytime I talk to her is before or after a class, we never get time during because we're always busy and we don't sit near each other. Plus when I do talk to her, she doesn't say very much. I've broken a lot of my ice to just talk to her these few times I have. I'm really shy and not good with starting conversations. So that's why I'm here asking for any advice and opinions about my situation and what I should do next. I appreciate it to anybody who actually took the time to read the long story. I just thought it'd be best if I didn't really leave any details out so people would have a better understanding of my situation. Thank you. I look forward to some replies.
amaysngrace Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 I would tease her a little. Call her a "daddy's girl". I would stop trying to have conversations with her for now. Either she is a daddy's girl or she's making it up so you'll leave her alone. So next time you see her say something like "I thought you were kind of cute, it's a shame you're such a daddy's girl", smile and walk away. And then never say anything to her again until she speaks to you.
Author Shy Guy Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 I would tease her a little. Call her a "daddy's girl". I would stop trying to have conversations with her for now. Either she is a daddy's girl or she's making it up so you'll leave her alone. So next time you see her say something like "I thought you were kind of cute, it's a shame you're such a daddy's girl", smile and walk away. And then never say anything to her again until she speaks to you. That would be rude and disrespectful though. I'm not that kind of person. She might have told her parents I was a senior and they might not like that. =\ If she wanted me to leave her alone I don't think she'd smile or look happy to see me when I talk to her sometimes.
Replicant Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Though from what you write even though it may sound awkward, remember she's only 15. That taken, of course there is no reason why she cannot date. It could very well be that she's never had a boyfriend or is inexperienced with having been asked out before thus like you say (very shy). I would say keep up with what you are doing, meaning showing the interest but find a common ground where you can get to know her better if she cannot go out to movies and such (yet). The high school cafeteria at lunch was the best place i would always run into a girl i liked whom was 2 grades behind me that i had no classes with, and it progressed from there. Her ice may be a little harder to melt if she's shy, but at least this will give you the time you need to get to know her much better. Maybe this time you offer to buy her lunch, turn the tables around...then let things go as they go
Author Shy Guy Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 Though from what you write even though it may sound awkward, remember she's only 15. That taken, of course there is no reason why she cannot date. It could very well be that she's never had a boyfriend or is inexperienced with having been asked out before thus like you say (very shy). I would say keep up with what you are doing, meaning showing the interest but find a common ground where you can get to know her better if she cannot go out to movies and such (yet). The high school cafeteria at lunch was the best place i would always run into a girl i liked whom was 2 grades behind me that i had no classes with, and it progressed from there. Her ice may be a little harder to melt if she's shy, but at least this will give you the time you need to get to know her much better. Maybe this time you offer to buy her lunch, turn the tables around...then let things go as they go Hmm, well she does have my lunch. But she takes the elevator to get there, I'm not I'd be allowed to ride it up with her though. I could always run up the steps. XD I've never seen if she sits with anybody at lunch though... It would be rude to just go and sit with her though wouldn't it? And I'm pretty sure I don't want to invite her to my table as there are some people there that talk disrespectfully about girls (I only sit there because one of my friends is there and he's the only friend I have in that lunch). So when I get to school tomorrow morning should I try to socialize with her if I have time before class? We never have time during, either way I'd have to go out of my way to talk to her. But I agree with you, she does seem really shy and inexperienced. No one talks to her probably because of her leg, which isn't right. =\
amaysngrace Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 That would be rude and disrespectful though. I'm not that kind of person. She might have told her parents I was a senior and they might not like that. =\ If she wanted me to leave her alone I don't think she'd smile or look happy to see me when I talk to her sometimes. She's happy because she knows you like her. It's an ego thing maybe. I still say to tease her because it sounds like she's blowing you off. But...if she seems genuinely hurt by what you say maybe you can ask her when you can meet her parents so that you can take her out.
amaysngrace Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 uh-oh. I didn't see she was paralyzed. Forget teasing. That wouldn't be nice at all. I would ask her if it'd be okay if you can meet her parents sometime. I don't think she's blowing you off anymore either. She's probably very self-conscious. And her parents are probably right to be over-protective of her. If you extend respect to her parents it will make her like you more.
Replicant Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Hmm, well she does have my lunch. But she takes the elevator to get there, I'm not I'd be allowed to ride it up with her though. I could always run up the steps. XD I've never seen if she sits with anybody at lunch though... It would be rude to just go and sit with her though wouldn't it? And I'm pretty sure I don't want to invite her to my table as there are some people there that talk disrespectfully about girls (I only sit there because one of my friends is there and he's the only friend I have in that lunch). So when I get to school tomorrow morning should I try to socialize with her if I have time before class? We never have time during, either way I'd have to go out of my way to talk to her. But I agree with you, she does seem really shy and inexperienced. No one talks to her probably because of her leg, which isn't right. =\ Just do things as you normally would do them. With that said, it made me think she may be shy and defensive if she has a paralysis. So going on that elevator may put her in an awkward situation, at this point in time. That mixed with little or no dating experience she may just be on the defensive possibly thinking you are not for real. Her parents likely are very protective of her for obvious reasons also, Don't be put off by these things though. Surely she's already aware you like her. Just focus attention on her alone and you'll do just fine. When i was in high school there was never large amounts of time between classes like 5 minutes or less to get to the next and the only common free time among the majority of all grades was 12 o'clock lunch hour. Reading what you wrote was similar being i met a girl i dated for years later in high school being 2 grades behind. The advice is simple...Just smile and say hi to her whenever you see her in the hallway. Then when you do get the nerve just approach her at lunch and ask if you can join her. Then just strike up some conversation and start getting to know her better. So once all those lunch hours start adding up, and the ice melts away at least you can be certain what she's going to hit you with if you don't take her to the movies!
Author Shy Guy Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 Thank you for your replies, they are very helpful. I'm not sure if I will talk to her tomorrow, but I will try to wave or say Hi when I see her/go by her. I'm not very good at striking up and holding conversations, so yeah... I'll need to think of some things to talk about for when I do actually get a chance to talk to her.
Author Shy Guy Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 I hate to double post, but I guess I'll just give you all an update. Apparently she's taken. D= So yeah, I guess I bombed on this one. =\ Thanks for your help anyway.
amaysngrace Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 I'm sorry for you. I don't know why she didn't just come out and say so rather than lead you on. Maybe she's not so nice afterall?
Author Shy Guy Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 I'm sorry for you. I don't know why she didn't just come out and say so rather than lead you on. Maybe she's not so nice afterall? Eh who knows? Maybe she's just saying it due to loss of interest. I guess I'll just have to wait until I meet another girl now. (Sux to be alone. ;.
amaysngrace Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Eh who knows? Maybe she's just saying it due to loss of interest. I guess I'll just have to wait until I meet another girl now. (Sux to be alone. ;. I think if she's lying it's more because she's self-conscious. If she's not in a relationship now chances are she's never been in one before. Maybe she'd rather avoid taking a boyfriend because she probably feels like an inconvenience. She doesn't want to burden anyone. Anyway, I hope you feel better soon.
Author Shy Guy Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 I think if she's lying it's more because she's self-conscious. If she's not in a relationship now chances are she's never been in one before. Maybe she'd rather avoid taking a boyfriend because she probably feels like an inconvenience. She doesn't want to burden anyone. Anyway, I hope you feel better soon. Oh I'm fine now, it didn't really bother me that much in the first place. I tried my best, that's all I really could have done. All I see I should do now is just be friends just in case something may happen in the future.
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