Lucky555 Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 So I had a friend from work who is a terrific guy. Smart, works out at the gym, the best personality, and caring! However, he does weed but hes still my good friend. The problem is as a friend of mine thats all he is. I know that he has romantic feelings toward me because he has tried to flirt with me on a few occasions. Now that i am back in school and not working anymore i talk to him online now and then. recently he messaged me and wanted to know when we would "hang out" i was in shock because i don't have romantic interest in him but i would love to see him and catch a movie or something. Now why would this guy being hanging out with me instead of getting a girlfriend? As i think about this hanging out thing its not romantic but if the guy has had feelings toward me then i shouldn't hang out with him...then he would want to hang out more and such and i dont want that i rather have him to confide in or be my friend. Its so difficult for me to have male friends cuz they all want to sleep with me! So should i assume the same for this guy? ugh. i have initiated that i would hook him up with a friend if one happens to be single. I am glad hes a nice guy but i dont want to break his heart either because i care about him. what do i do!
glittergurl Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 He obviously likes you. When you like someone, that's how it is, and you can't just decide one day "okay, I'm moving on to another one". You should tell him frankly that you're not interested in a date. Going out with a guy to the movies sounds very much like a date to me, whether that's what you want or not. By accepting you'd be sending mixed signals, and then you really can't act too shocked if he takes it as a sign Just tell him you really hope he doesn't get the wrong idea, because you're not interested in this friendship moving onto anything else. Mention other guys, other dates. And when you meet up, make it something a casual and maybe add some friends to it. A movie alone with him is keeping his hopes up ... after which you really have no excuse for complaining.
mpower95 Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 As hard as it might be for you; do not go to hang out with your friend. You already know that he has feelings towards you, and accepting his invitation to hang out will make him think you are interested. If you decide to go, then taking someone else with you is a very good idea, and will reinforce the fact that the encounter is casual and friendly. Goodluck:)
GracelessWomenCom Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 So I had a friend from work who is a terrific guy. Smart, works out at the gym, the best personality, and caring! However, he does weed but hes still my good friend. The problem is as a friend of mine thats all he is. I know that he has romantic feelings toward me because he has tried to flirt with me on a few occasions. Now that i am back in school and not working anymore i talk to him online now and then. recently he messaged me and wanted to know when we would "hang out" i was in shock because i don't have romantic interest in him but i would love to see him and catch a movie or something. Now why would this guy being hanging out with me instead of getting a girlfriend? As i think about this hanging out thing its not romantic but if the guy has had feelings toward me then i shouldn't hang out with him...then he would want to hang out more and such and i dont want that i rather have him to confide in or be my friend. Its so difficult for me to have male friends cuz they all want to sleep with me! So should i assume the same for this guy? ugh. i have initiated that i would hook him up with a friend if one happens to be single. I am glad hes a nice guy but i dont want to break his heart either because i care about him. what do i do! situations like this always seem to end sadly and badly. sad for you, bad for the guy who was hoping to get with you. i think you should be upfront and tell this guy that you like him only as a friend. theres no need to directly or indirectly lead him on. theres absolutely no need for that.
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